I'm always here
by pookieortega
Summary: Post Mockingjay, but Katniss' dad is alive. This is the story of Katniss and Peeta after the war. As broken as she is, her family and love is always there.
1. I'm always here

A/N Hello everyone! I'm back with another story for ya! So I don't want to restart from the very beginning of the hunger games and put her dad in it. I honestly wanted to just to a post mockingjay story, however there will be a lot of flashbacks because that needs to be included if I'm not completely rewriting the story. So yeah. I will lay out the setting for you, Prim is alive because I think maybe her dad could have stopped her from going to her death, Katniss and her mom have a better relationship because she never went into depression, and they all live in her house in the victors village. I hope you like it!

Katniss pov

I wake with a scream. Thrashing around I fall to the floor and scoot to the wall where I bring my knees to my chest and cry into them. The door opens and my dad pokes his head in. "Katniss?" He says as he walks in. He comes over to where I am and sits next to me. His arms pull me into him and allow me to cry into his chest.

"Shhhh...It's okay Katniss, it's all over now."

"Dad, people died because of me. I killed innocent people, innocent children. I constantly relive it. It's all because of me. If I would have just died like I was supposed to, so many people would be alive. Peeta would be normal and his family would be alive."

"Katniss, you can't beat yourself up about that. You made Panem better, and I am so proud of you. Yes, you may have killed people, but you were forced to. You can't change that. But Katniss, it would be the worst thing in the world to lose you or Prim. I love you both so much. And as for Peeta, you can't change what happened to his family, but I believe that he will come back to you. I believe he will someday be normal."

"He hates me... He should hate me.."

"You and I both know that's not true. Peeta has loved you for a long time, and I part of him still does love you. I know you think you don't love him, but I can see the way you look at him. Katniss, a lot of people always thought you and Gale would end up together, but you're just like me. What you need isn't more fire, you have enough of that yourself, you need something softer, something like a dandelion. They're delicate and pleasant. Someone who is understanding and loveable. Someone like-"

"Peeta..."I finish. I sigh and look at the floor because it's too late. He's gone. He's replaced with someone different and even though he only lives twenty-five feet away, it feels like he's in a whole new world.

My dadkisses my forehead and then stands up. I do also and crawl back in bed. He pulls up the blanket just like he used to do when I was little. Whenever I'd have a nightmare, usually about going into the games, he would tuck me in and sing me to sleep. Then just as I'm about to fall completely asleep, he kisses my forehead and quietly leaves whispering,"I love you,Katniss."

When I wake up, it's to the sound of a shovel outside. I look out my window to see a blonde head working hard outside. He stands up and wipes sweat from his brow. His wife shirt has mud and sweat on it.

I run downstairs not bothering to check how I look. My mom gives me a smile as I walk to the door. When I go out, I slowly walk from the porch to the side where he stands.

"Katniss," he says.

"Peeta,"I say,"you're back."

"The doctor didn't let me leave until yesterday...I uh, I saw these and wanted to plant them. You're dad said I could."

At first I want to scream. He holds in his hands, roses. Bright yellow and pink roses. But then the full name comes to me. Primroses. I smile and say,"thank you."

"Are you doing okay?"

"I could be better...You?"

"Same."

"I have to go,"I say before running back up to the house. After shutting the door, I slide down the wall to the floor. He's getting better. But he's far from good. Tears roll down my face as Buttercup comes in. He meows at me which results in me throwing a shoe at him. Dumb cat.

As I walk back upstairs, I catch a glimpse of myself. Bags under my eyes, my hair messy, and my grey eyes lifeless. And oddly, it's exactly what I imagine me to look like. Maybe I'm seeing the mutt Peeta sees me as. Or maybe I'm just seeing my true self. Whatever it is. I accept it.

What I see is the murder, the mutt, the mockingjay, the victor, the tribute, the star crossed lover, the girl on fire, the ally, the seam girl,...the ghost. I go to my window and watch him from afar. This window is the same window that only a few days ago I threw a vase of flowers out of.

Flowers from Snow.

I see Prim walk out side and wave at Peeta. He waves back to her and then continues to work. She continues to walk on and I wonder if that's how Peeta and I will be for forever. Just a series of waves and hello's and small talk.

Rory runs up to Prim and hugs her. Even Prim has found love and a friend in him. All my friends have hates me, Gale went off to two, Madge is dead, Finnick is dead, Cinna is dead, they're all dead or hurt because of me.

For the rest of the day I just sit under my window until my parents force me to eat. But from the window, I can see his blonde head walking home and i wonder if he's lonely. If a part of him loves me.


	2. Hunting

Katniss pov

Dad wakes me up. It's still dark out and when I look at the alarm, it's 4:30. The sun hasn't risen. "Do you want to go hunting with me?"he asks. I nod and start to get up. He goes downstairs as I dress into my hunting pants and shirt. I grab his old hunting boots and his old hunting jacket. He gave this to me the day of the reaping. We had gone out into the forest before and were sitting by the lake. He took my hand in his and said,"Katniss, I want you to have my jacket and my old boots."

I've always wanted his jacket. I've admired it for a long time. A symbol of him. I had hugged him until we had to go. That day could have been perfect if it weren't for the reaping. But then we wouldn't here.

I run downstairs with my bow and arrows. It hums in my hand until I tell it to sleep. I have to admit, I like this bow that Beetee made. He hands me a begal with cream cheese on it and then takes one himself.

We walk to the forest getting there while it's still dark. The fence has been completely taken down and changed into a normal fence with gates so that the wild dogs and animals stay out of district twelve. But we can get in and out of it.

It's deer season so hopefully we find one. We don't need it to survive anymore, but it's always nice to help Sae by getting these. She opened up the hob again and even though she could buy meat from the capitol, she prefers meat shot by dad and I.

I prefer it too.

We pass by the east entrance to the mines. They closed it down. Half of the mines are closed now. They days have been cut down too but the miners are getting better pay. Most have moved on to do something different. Dad only works on Tuesdays and Thursdays now. He doesn't even have to work that much, my pay from being a Victor is enough to pay for us for the rest of our lives. But I think it gives him more to do. Dad doesn't like not doing anything.

Like on days he's not working in the mines, he helping Thom fix houses or out in the forest hunting. And I even catch him making his way over to Peeta's house to drop off some wood or meat. I don't know what goes on between them, but I have a feeling that dad really wants him to come back to me. It's almost like he's fond of Peeta. That's rare too.

My dad usually doesn't approve of guys easily. Not that I've really have had guys that he needs to approve of. Only Gale really, and we weren't even anything but friends, plus dad worked with his dad in the mines. His dad didn't survive the mine explosion. Luckily dad was in a different area, or I could have been like him, hunting in the woods alone, my family's only hope for survival. Who knows how mom would have taken that. Luckily for them, Hazelle is a very strong woman.

We walk to the stump where his bow is. Even though he doesn't have to hide it in there anymore, he still does. I think it's just a habit from doing this for 30 years. Walking silently deep into the woods, we find a deer. The sun is barely visible on the horizon. I string my bow and aim right for the eye. With a release of a breath, I let go and it hits it's target.

"Nice shot,"my dad says running to get the deer. We take it back to the lake where we skin it. Then hide it in the cabin so we can get it later. Most the deer should be going back up by now, so we won't be able to find more. We end up with a few squirrels and birds. When we go the the hob, Greasy Sae is very thankful. We also pick up some herbs for mom while we're there and of course get some soup from Sae.

"So how have you been girly?"She asks me.

"I'm fine,"I say.

"It's been a while since I've seen ya here, usually it's just your dad. Sometimes I see the boy here. He looks like he's doing better than before, but he still looks lost. Poor thing. Have you seen him yet?"

"Yes."

I fight back the tears that threaten to spill. She gives me a sad look and takes my empty bowl. Dad looks at me sympathetically. I take my bow and arrows and thank Sae before leaving. Dad stays there and talks to her, but I just want to get home. My vision starts to blur with tears and I'm not looking where I'm going. I stumble into Haymitch's house and collapse in the entry way.

"Hey!" Haymitch yells from the kitchen,"better not break one of my bottles! I don't want to clean it up!"

"You don't even clean!"I say.

"Yeah, I was hoping that if I didn't clean the two of you would stop bugging me! But obviously that doesn't stop you guys! Even the annoying geese aren't working!"

"He's been here?"

"The boy comes here every day at 12:00. Then he checks again on me at 5:00."

I sit there quietly and stare at the floor.

"C'mon, sweetheart,"he says as he helps me up. He leads me to the kitchen and sets me on a chair. "What's the real reason you came here? I'm guessing it's not to check up on me."

"It's to check up on him."

"That's what I thought."

"So? How is he?"

"Why don't you ask me yourself?" A voice says from the kitchen doorway.


	3. the conversation

_"So? How is he?"_

_"Why don't you ask me yourself?" A voice says from the kitchen doorway_.

Katniss pov

I turn to find him with a loaf of bread in his hands, standing at the doorway. It reminds me of when I used to come make sure Haymitch was alive before the Victory Tour. He had always came after I was in there with a loaf of bread in his hand.

He still looks rather thin. His eyes are red.

"Peeta,"I whisper.

"Hello Katniss."

He comes and sits at the table with us. His hand shakes as he pulls the chair back. I go to scoot back and say,"I should be going."

"No."

I stop and look at him.

"Stop running. We need to talk."

I freeze.

I don't turn to look at him.

I simply lean against the door frame.

"What is there to talk about?"

"EVERYTHING!"

I slowly turn around and see he is standing up now. Slowly I walk to the table and sit down. He closes his eyes, his fists are clenched, his breathing hard. Look what they've done to him. Peeta would have never snapped like that before.

Haymitch places and hand on his shoulder and says,"calm down, Peeta."

He sits down and grips the chair. "Where do we start?"I ask.

He closes his eyes and after a while he says,"what's real?"

"Us."

"I planted roses at your house, real or not real."

"Real,"I say.

"I used to bring bread to Haymitch and you before the Victory Tour?"

"Real."

"I walked in and saw you and Gale kissing?"

"Not real."

He lets out a breath that he was holding. I look at my hands, glancing up every once in a while to see if he's opened his eyes yet. He still hasn't. However his grip is loosening on the chair. His knuckles are turning from white to their natural color.

"The capitol forced us to love each other."

"Real."

"I loved you."

"Real."

"I did anything for you."

"Real."

"I would've died for you."

"Real." Tears start to prick at my eyes.

"I must've loved you a lot."He finally says.

"You did."

"Did you love me?"

"Peeta-"

"Did you love me?"he says a little more aggressive.

"Peeta-"

"REAL OR NOT REAL?!"

I get up and bolt out of the house. I run as far as I can. Through the woods and into the cabin. That's where I stay for the rest of the day. Eventually my dad finds me crying in the corner.

"How'd you find me?"I ask.

"I know you well. Haymitch called me and asked if you went home. When I told him you weren't home, he told me what happened. I figured you'd be here. Like I said, I know you well."

He sits next to me and says,"c'mon, dinner is waiting and its getting cold."

I go with him back home and eat with my family. After dinner I go back upstairs to my room. I look out the window and at Haymitch's house. I wonder if he's there with him right now?

Prim comes in and sits on my bed.

"Hey little duck,"I say not looking away from the window.

"Hey Katniss."

She comes to sit next to me and says,"I heard dad talking to Haymitch. I don't think you should run from your feelings. You and Peeta are meant to be together."

"It's complicated, little duck,"I sigh,"hopefully you never go through anything like this."

"I've been doing some research hijacking, I think of you tell Peeta memories kinda like you tell stories, he could come back to you. Or if you take him to a place or give him something that can trigger a memory. Like when you smell something and it takes you back to a place or a memory."

"When did you get so smart?"I ask as I play with her hair.

"I'm just doing my research. Mom says if I keep it up, I can become a doctor by next year."

"I'm proud of you."I say to her as I hug her. She's growing up so fast.

I see Peeta leave Haymitch's house and consider going to him. But I stop myself. I shouldn't want him. I shouldn't care about him. It would be better for him to not see me. It's better that he hates me. I killed his family. I am a mutt.

But that night, my dreams drift to one night on the train. This night was special. I decided that if I was going to die for him, I would show him how much I care for him. If he didn't listen to me and understand that I can't live with him in words, I'd show him.

I wake up in tears of the memory. This is a memory I can't afford to keep, for it will never be like that again. I will never be able to touch him again, to kiss him again, to caress him again.

I let the tears flow, as if I was letting the memory leave me. I know it's left him. He can't possibly remember the night I gave myself to him. If he did, we would be in each other's arms right now.

I get up and go to the window. His lights are on. I wonder if he's thinking about me? Does he even think of me in any way other than hatred? I've decided I don't care. I will see him now, and we will talk, whether he wants to or not. I'm going to finish what I ran from today.

Prim's words are fresh in my mind as I run across the lawn to his house in only my nightgown and a thin robe. I run across the snow, not caring if I can get a cold. I raise a hand and knock on the door, awaiting his answer.

Finally he opens the door, looking shocked.

"Katniss,"he says. His hair is a mess, his eyes are red, the seem to always be like that lately. I notice he also only in hs ipyjamas. Scratches are noticeable on his arms and chest. Self inflicted harm.

He bites his lip and I ask,"can I come in?"

"Yes."


	4. night conversations

A/N I'd like to take a moment acknowledge a review by a guest. Since I can't PM my thanks, I will do it now. So thank you for your kind review.

Katniss pov

_But that night, my dreams drift to one night on the train. This night was special. I decided that if I was going to die for him, I would show him how much I care for him. If he didn't listen to me and understand that I can't live with him in words, I'd show him._

_I wake up in tears of the memory. This is a memory I can't afford to keep, for it will never be like that again. I will never be able to touch him again, to kiss him again, to caress him again._

_I let the tears flow, as if I was letting the memory leave me. I know it's left him. He can't possibly remember the night I gave myself to him. If he did, we would be in each other's arms right now._

_I get up and go to the window. His lights are on. I wonder if he's thinking about me? Does he even think of me in any way other than hatred? I've decided I don't care. I will see him now, and we will talk, whether he wants to or not. I'm going to finish what I ran from today._

_Prim's words are fresh in my mind as I run across the lawn to his house in only my nightgown and a thin robe. I run across the snow, not caring if I can get a cold. I raise a hand and knock on the door, awaiting his answer._

_Finally he opens the door, looking shocked._

_"Katniss,"he says. His hair is a mess, his eyes are red, the seem to always be like that lately. I notice he also only in his pyjamas. Scratches are noticeable on his arms and chest. Self inflicted harm._

_He bites his lip and I ask,"can I come in?"_

_"Yes."_

Peeta steps aside so I can walk in. His house is a mess. Things are broken and smashed from his flashbacks. He leads me to the kitchen, where before I came, he was baking.

"Can't sleep?"he asks.

I nod. I'm not going to explain why.

"The nightmares keep me up too."

My nightmare has become a reality.

"So what is it you wanted to talk about?"he asks.

"I wanted to finish what we started yesterday."

"I have a lot of questions. The capitol filled my head with so many lies, I don't know what's real anymore. I know you're not out to kill me, I'm trying to get my head wrapped around that, but the capitol, they were so good at changing everything."

"Peeta, I promise I won't run away this time. I'll help you."

"I'm afraid of hurting you, Katniss."

"You won't hurt me, that's not you,"I say,"I trust you."

"You shouldn't trust me."

"I can't help it, Peeta. I do trust you."

He sighs and his hands grip the counter. "Lets just start."

"Okay."

"You tried to kill me during the first games."

"Not real."

"You dropped a tracker jacker nest on me."

"Not real, I did drop it, but I wasn't trying to kill you, it was the careers that I wanted to hurt. You were just down there with them. I thought you were out to get me, but soon I realized that you were trying to protect me."

"Okay."He says quietly.

"But the love. It was all for show."

"At first it was."

"What do you mean?"he asks.

"At first I didn't care about you, but then I did. I don't know when things changed, but they did and I really started to care for you and want to protect you. I was going to die for you."

"What happened before the Victory Tour? I just remember avoiding you. I wanted to go to you so many times, but I couldn't. And I don't know why. They told me that the whole time you and Gale were in the woods...they showed videos of the two of you. They were... graphic." The look on his face tells me everything.

"Those aren't real. He's only ever kissed me. I've only been touched by one person." I say the second part quietly.

His face changes into one of pain. "Who?"he says very painfully, I can visibly see him breaking down at the though of another man touching me. "It was you,"I whisper. His eyes widened and his mouth is open.

"I thought that was just a dream..."He says quietly looking down.

"No. That part is real. It was on the train, the night before the second games."

I didn't know how to tell him that I cared about him, so I didn't speak. I showed.

_Peeta holds me as we attempt to get some sleep. Tomorrow we go into the games, so I don't expect us to get much. I'm ready to die for this man. I look into his eyes and I know I have to tell him. _

_"Peeta,"I start. He looks at me with his full attention. My mouth dries up and the words catch in my throat. So I lean in and kiss him with all I have. He kisses me back with force and need._

_I straddle his lap as I lock my fingers in his hair. I feel his tongue enter my mouth and I moan into the kiss. He pulls away and groans my name. He looks at me with pleading eyes._

_"Please, Peeta,"is all I say._

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Yes, I'm sure about us."_

* * *

_After, he lays with his head on my chest, my hands in his hair. _

_"Stay with me,"I say._

_"Always,"he says sleepily. _

_I kiss his forehead and soon I hear him snoring._

_"I love you,"I whisper before falling asleep._

After hearing this story, I see tears in his eyes.

"I'm not that person anymore." He says.

"I know."

Something in him changes. His eyes darken and he grips the counter until his knuckles are white.I get up to go to him but he holds out a hand and says,"run! Get out of her!"

That's when he turns into hijacked Peeta. So I run. I run home and I run to my closet, where I fall asleep crying in the corner.


	5. Hob date

Katniss pov

I wake up where I fell asleep.

The closet.

I get up, my limbs are sore and asleep. I look at the clock. It's 7, dad has already left to hunt, mom and Prim are still asleep. I run downstairs and grab my shoes and jacket, then I go down to Peeta's.

I knock on the door three times before I give up and go to Haymitch's house. When I walk in, I find that Peeta is asleep on his couch while Haymitch drinks at his table. "Well, look who showed up?"

I take a seat and pull the jacket tighter around my body that is only covered by a thin nightgown. "So what happened last night?"he asks raising an eyebrow at me.

"I went over to his house and we finished our conversation. Then we got to, uh, uncomfortable times and he had a flashback."

"Last night I heard him destroying half of his house so I took back here where he destroyed my house instead."

"I'm really sorry about that,"he says from the doorway.

"Don't worry about it, it's worse than before,"he says gruffly.

I can't help but stare at Peeta as he goes to sit down next to me. He's shirtless, his muscles are well defined with his bakers body made from carrying so much flour and from wrestling for all those years.

His hair is rustled and he has scratches and cuts.

"Are you okay?"I ask him.

"Are we ever okay?"he asks.

"Physically are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Did I hurt you? Physically?"

"No."

Haymitch hands me a cup of tea. I stare at him weirdly, this isn't his style. If any thing, coffee is what he'll drink, most of the time spiked.

"We had tea last night. I still had more here this morning,"he answers my unasked question. I nod and reach for the sugar, but find that Peeta is already handing it to me.

"You like your tea with sugar, real or not real?"

"Real,"I say,"and you like yours without sugar."

"Yes."

We sip our tea in silence until Haymitch says,"so what the hell caused so much shit?"

"Hmm. I don't know, maybe Snow?"I say sarcastically.

"I mean last night? What caused such a flashback?"

"I don't want to talk about,"I say quietly.

"You know, you're a lot like me, but you have to talk sometime, sweetheart."

"No, you don't understand Haymitch. This isn't something you just talk about to anyone. I don't want to talk about it."

"The fuck, sweetheart, you cause all these problems and then you don't give any explanations!"

I can see Peeta starting to get angry. He yells out,"WE TALKED ABOUT HOW WE HAD SEX! THERE ITS OUT!" Then he stands up and quickly leaves.

"So, that's what caused all this shit? Really?"

I quickly get up and storm out too. I find myself at Peeta's house.

I just walk in and find him laying face first into the couch. His house is in worse condition than before. I take a seat on the couch and wait for him to look up. When he finally does, we find ourselves in a stare off almost. We don't say anything, just look.

Then finally I break the silence.

"We can't live like this anymore."

"No. We can't."

"Do you want to go to lunch with me at the hob?"I ask.

"Okay."

"Let me get dressed, then I'll meet you here. We need to get out of the victors village."

I run home and quickly change into my normal clothes. When I come back, he has changed into fresh clothes. "Ready to go?"I ask.

"Yeah."

We walk to the hob with minimal conversation. We just talk about how much district twelve is changing, but I'm okay with that. I'm done talking so much about the situation.

It's relaxing just walking peacefully side by side with Peeta. When we get to the hob, I order two soups from Greasy Sae. She gives me a nice smile and says this meat is from my dad.

I take a bowl to Peeta, and we eat. I'm noticing more merchants are starting to come to the hob. I don't know if it's because the hob is getting better, or maybe it's because everything was destroyed making it like we are all seam, except the five of us who live in the victors village. But my dad and I will always be seam. And even though Prim doesn't look seam, she is still a part of it too.

Haymitch, my mom, and Peeta were all merchant, but Haymitch threw that away for the alcohol, my mom threw that away for my dad, and Peeta had that taken away from him.

I try to not think about how it was taken away, or the fact that it's all my fault that he has no family anymore. Yet I still have everyone I love. Almost.

"This is good stew,"he says breaking the silence.

"She makes great stew. She said it was meat from what my dad shot."

"It's good,"he says,"my dad used to make something like this when my mom wasn't there. He said that he got the squirrels from you. He also said that you always shot them perfectly in the eye, the cleanest shot."

I blush and look down at my stew.

"Hi, Katniss,"I hear.

I look up to see my dad walking over to us. He kisses the top of my head and then turns to Peeta and shakes his hand,"hello Peeta, it's nice to see you."

"Good afternoon, Mr. Everdeen."

"Is the stew good? I haven't had any yet?"he asks us.

"It's great," I say.

"I'll have to go get some before I go and build. Are you going to the woods?"

"No. Not today. I think I'm going to hang out with Peeta."

My dad looks a little shocked at first but smiles at us. "Well, have fun I guess,"he says before hugging me and then goes to the booth for some soup.

"So what do you want to do?"I ask Peeta.

"I don't know...I don't really feel like doing anything."

"As much as I want to go and hide away, we can't do that,"I say.

He nods and says,"you're right. I guess we should walk around town."

"Okay,"I say,"let's go."


	6. accidents

Katniss pov

Peeta and I walk through the town together. He stands about three feet away. I keep my hands in the pocket of my jacket as we walk. We pass the spot where the bakery used to stand. They haven't built anything in its place yet. Specialorders are made so that if Peeta ever wanted to rebuild the bakery, he would have that area. Technically he owns that lot. He's the only living Mellark.

He looks over at it and stops in his tracks. He looks at it sadly.

"Are you okay?"I ask.

"I don't know...in a way I am. In a way I'm not."

I slowly walk to his side. He just stares at it, then carries on saying,"I miss my family, I loved them. But they were never there and were ready to let my go when I went into the games. They had constant judgement of me. My mom didn't love me. But I did have good times with them. Like my dad. Or my brothers. I miss wrestling with them and joking with them. I miss my dad's kindness."

"Your dad came to see me before we went into the second games. He gave me cookies." I smile at the memory of Ferrel Mellark. He was one of the nicest people I knew.

"That sounds like something he would do. He had a special liking for you. He would tell me that he thought we would eventually get together. I didn't believe him because you never noticed me. I thought he was just playing into my crush."

"Do you believe him now?"I ask.

"We already have been together,"he simply says.

There's still a little bit of rubble in the lot. I watch as he walks through it to something in it. He picks it up and examines it. It's an M. The M that used to hang on the sign. A single tear rolls down his cheek. He sticks the M in the pocket of his jacket.

"My brothers used to make fun of me. They would say that I would never even touch you let alone kiss you. I guess I proved them wrong."

I just listen to all he says. I don't reply.

"It's weird, I sometimes miss my mom. Even though she was a terrible I miss my dad the most."

I couldn't imagine losing my dad. He taught me everything. He keeps my mom together. I can only imagine what would happen to her if she lost him. She'd probably go into depression.

I wipe the tears that roll down his face. He flinches.

"I'm sorry, Peeta."

He gets really quit. I watch as his pupils get larger and his hands shake. "This is all your fault!"he yells before his fingers lock around my neck. I gasp, trying to breathe but I can't.

A bunch of people run to him, trying to stop him. Right as I'm about to pass out, I see my dad run up from behind and punch Peeta. His grip loosens and drops me. I drop to the floor and pass out.

* * *

_I lay in the meadow with Peeta. His hand is interlocked with mine. He kisses mine and then brings his lips to mine and says my name. That's when I look beyond him to see Rue standing behind him. His family too. All the people who I ever had anything to do with their death appear. _

_I panic and look back to Peeta who grips my head and says,"look into my eyes."_

_I listen to him. His pupils turn into those of the mutts that we've encountered. "You're a mutt!"he yells at me._

_"You deserve to die! Look at all the people you killed!"_

_Then his hands wrap around my neck and I can't breathe..._

I sit up in my bed. My throat is really sore. My family is in the room too. My dad looks very unhappy. My mom looks at my pitifully. Prim just looks sad. I go to speak but they stop me.

I think back to district thirteen. When I woke up my dad was sitting at the edge of my bed. He was there with my mom to explain to me what happened. As I cried, he held me.

Only this time I know what's wrong.

"Katniss, I don't want you to be by him. He's too dangerous."He says.

"He's just too sick,"my mom says,"I'm sorry sweetie."

I shake my head.

"No,"my voice comes out hoarse and weak, it hurts to speak but I still do,"I can't give up on him. He needs my help or else he'll never get better."

"He may never get better,"my mom says softly.

"I can't. I can't be with out him."

"Katniss, you have to let him go."

"Where is he?"I ask.

"They're coming tonight to take him to thirteen." My dad says.

"What?! No!"

"I'm sorry Katniss."

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HIM!"I scream. My voice breaks multiple times and it burns. Tears stream down my face. I go to get up and run but my dad catches me and holds me back.

My mom injects me with something. As I drift off I hear her say,"I'm sorry Katniss."

When I wake up again and look at the clock I see that it's only been half an hour. What she gave me wasn't very strong. I go to the door but it's locked. So I check the window. That's locked too.

Damn it!

I hear foot steps up the stairs so I go to the door. Prim opens the door and motions for me to be quiet. "Shhhh, I'm not supposed to let you out." She whispers. She goes downstairs and checks for our parents.

"They're in the kitchen. You'll have to be quiet. Go save Peeta."

"Thank you little duck!"I whisper and hug her.

As I sneak down, I hear my parents speaking,"I don't think we should do this to her. She's been through so much."

"I know, but we have no option. She could've died, Delilah! This is the second time he's almost killed her! I like Peeta, I do, but he could've killed her. He's just too sick." My dad says.

"John, I think if we keep an eye on him he could get better. She could help him. He's only a boy. He's been through so much. Sending him back there would be hell. He needs our help. He has no family, he's still obviously sick, It's obvious how Katniss feels, the boy needs a chance. You have to remember that he's not some monster. He's only a 17 year old boy, not even a man yet."

"I don't know, I just don't want her to get hurt."

"I know. We'll have to talk to Haymitch, he is his legal guardian."

"I don't know if that drunk knows what's best for him."

"He obviously knew what was best for Katniss. And he treats them like his children. I think we should talk to him."

"Fine." I hear the chairs scoot back, so I quietly run into one of the extra rooms and wait for them to leave. I hear my dad call to Prim and tell her that they are leaving. When I hear the door shut, I wait a few minutes then look to see if the coast is clear.

I run out the back door to be safe and run to his backyard. I look through the window and open it as quietly as I can. Then I climb up and into his house. I'm in an extra room. When I look around, I find that it's his studio. I look at the pictures and see that some of them I recognize. Memories.

One catches my eye. It's me. I'm sleeping, the sheet is wrapped around my naked body. I don't take time to think about it for too long. I just run to the door. I crack it open and hear my Dad's voice as he talks to Haymitch.

"-He needs to go back."

"We can't send him back. That would destroy him." Haymitch says.

I sneak out and go upstairs. The first place I look is his room. I find him tied up to a chair. He has a bruise where my dad punched him. "Katniss? What are you doing here?"

"Shhh, I'm supposed to be locked up in my room. But I can't let them take you back to district thirteen."

"Maybe they should. I'm a monster."

"No you aren't. I'm untying you and we're going to go somewhere where they can't take you away."

He closes his eyes, but he doesn't disagree. I finally get him free and then I take his hand and lead him downstairs. As we near the bottom I hear,"-send him to thirteen." From Haymitch.

Fear courses through my veins. I help him out the window and then we run.

A/N can I get 10 more reviews?


	7. The hideout

A/N so I was watching a show that had Peter Facinelli, who of you don't know by name played as Carsile Cullen in Twilight, and I was thinking that I could imagine him playing as Peeta's dad if they showed him. Like when his hair is blonde. Plus he has a nice soft voice! Like I could totally imagine him as Peeta's dad. Can't you?

Katniss pov

We run.

We run until we can't breathe.

We end up breaking into one of the twelve empty victor houses, the farthest one we could find. If we ran to the forest my dad would catch us. So we hide.

"What the hell is going on?" Peeta asks,"I woke up tied to a chair and I could hear Haymitch and your parents arguing? Then you come in and we're sneaking away?!"

"They want to send you back to district thirteen."

"Shit..."He says look down.

"I won't let them."

"What happened?"

"We were talking, we were talking in front of the spot where the bakery was. Then you had a flashback and started to choke me. My dad saw and punched you, he knocked you out. When I woke up, I was in my room and they told me that you were going to be sent back. I tried to run, but they locked me in my room. Prim let me out and my parents left to talk to Haymitch, so that's when I snuck out and came to you."

"That explains why my head hurts."

"I'm really sorry about that,"I say.

"I should be the one whose sorry."He says.

"It's okay,"I say.

"So how long do you think we'll be here?"he asks.

"I'm not sure..."I say as I look around,"I'm not sure how long we'll be able to hide from them."

"Eventually we'll have to face them."He says.

"I know, but maybe by the time we face them, they'll be willing to listen."

"I don't want to go to thirteen. I never want to go there." He says looking at the ground as kicks a piece of glass that was from the window we broke. He looks up and looks at my hand.

"You're bleeding,"he says worried.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're bleeding. Hold on."

He looks around for something and eventually comes up with a piece of cloth that I think he ripped from curtains. He asks me for my hand and then wraps it around the hand that I used to break the window. Now that I think about it, it stings.

Peeta and I look around the house, as expected, it's exactly like our houses. I explore the kitchen to discover running water and canned food. I don't trust the food though. Right now I wish that I took my bow with me. It would be helpful. I didn't plan anything though. I just reacted.

I look at the mirror on the wall and realize that I am only wearing a thin nightgown and no bra. Not that it really matters, I don't really have much and its not like he hasn't seen it. However it is rather cold. Especially in a house that has never been inhabited.

I cross my arms and try to warm myself up. Peeta notices this and asks me if I'm cold. I nod and he says,"maybe we can find a blanket."

I go to where the blankets are in my house, and sure enough, a stack of blankets is there. I grab a few and bring them in front of the fire Peeta is making. I look in the closet and find a poncho and boots. They're a little big but they'll do.

"I'm going to go look for some berries."I say before leaving out the back door. The backyard leads to the forest. I've never really been in this part of the woods. I find a patch of strawberries not to far from the house.

Strawberries bring back memories of Madge.

Without my bow I can't shoot anything, however I could set up a snare like my dad has taught me. That came in handy during the games. Even though I was used to using my bow, the snares were all I had until I got one.

I pick as much strawberries as I can and then return back to Peeta.

"Strawberries?" He asks.

"Yep."

"I remember Madge used to always have them when they were in season,"he says.

"Yeah, Gale and I used to pick them. Then we would meet up at her backyard and sell them to her. They were her favorite..."

That's like opening a fresh wound. It's just as painful.

We both knew Madge so this is sad for both of us. I remember Peeta used to hang out with her and Delly. Madge would always leave them at lunch to sitwith me. Little did I know Peeta was too shy to come too.

I look at the clocks, but none of them work, so I look to the window and decide that it's about 8:00pm.

Peeta and I decide it's too cold to not sleep by the fire, so we make a bed with the blankets and pillows. We're both emotionally exhausted. We sleep a few feet away.

* * *

I wake up shivering. That's when I feel his arms pull a blanket up closer to me. The fire is completely out now, and I've rolled away from where my pillows and blankets are. But Peeta, his arms pull me to him and he makes an effort to keep me warm. I pretend to sleep.

I breathe in the scent that is cinnamon and dill. It's the smell of Peeta. I'm not sure if he knows I'm awake or not, but he seems to be content. And so am I.


	8. Caught in a snare

Katniss pov

I wake up shivering curled up next to Peeta. He has an arm around me and his breathing is light across my face. I look at his beautiful face. He has minimal scars on it. His cheeks and pale as the cream he whips everyday he bakes. His hair the color of golden silk. His long eyelashes rest on his cheeks.

I trace a scar on his neck with my finger ever so lightly, not to wake him. He stirs a little, so I lye still and pretend to sleep. His breath is rough as he wakes up. I feel him pull up the blanket and move hair from my face. Then he untangles from me and gets up.

I sigh when the warmth leaves me. I wish it wouldn't.

I curl up in the blanket and listen to what my eyes can't see.

Thump...Thump...Thump...Thump...

I hear Peeta walking away. Then I hear the door open and close. I think he's going to the bathroom, but I don't think the plumbing works anymore. When he comes back, into the room, I hear a crash and him say,"oh shit!" Under his breath.

I open my eyes and look where I heard the crash. What looks like a vase, or was a vase, is shattered on the floor. Peeta looks at me and says,"sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay,"I say and get up from the floor. I help him clean up the glass, but end up cutting my hand. Blood, red as the rose drips from my hand and splashes on the floor.

My hand is starting to bleed more and it continues to drip onto the floor. I look over to Peeta and see that his eyes are turning black. I put a warning hand and say,"Peeta, calm down. It's just a cut."

His eyes widen and he backs up. His face full of fear. "YOU KILLED THEM!"he screams.

"Peeta, listen to me. I didn't kill them."

"YOU HAVE BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS!"

"I cut my hand, it's not real. Please listen to me."

He backs up all the way to the wall and tries to grab whatever he can. So I do the first thing I can think of, and sing.

"Deep in the meadow, under the willow

A bed of grass, a soft green pillow

Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes,

When you wake, the sun will rise."

He stares at me, but doesn't say anything. His eyes are red and filled with tears, but they aren't black anymore. His breathing is hard.

"Peeta,"I say and reach out a hand to him. He allows me to touch his arm. "You sang that on the first day of school, real or not real?"

"Real."

He relaxes more and I get up to wipe my hands and the floor with a towel. I wrap another towel around my hand. I go and sit next to Peeta, who hasn't moved. He slowly looks over to me. We sit there is silence, just staring at each other.

That's when the door is busted open.

My dad, my mom, and Haymitch run in.

"You two are in so much trouble!" My dad says angrily.

We look at them shocked.

They take us back to the house and have us sit on the couch. My dad is the first to speak.

"What the fuck!"he says,"first you disobey me by leaving your room, then you run away?" My mom places her hand on hos shoulder to calm him down.

"I couldn't let you guys take him away. I already lost him before, and I can't let that happen again. He can't go back to thirteen, I just got him back. He just needs to remember. I can help him. You can't let them take him. I heard you guys talking, and you can't do that." I say with tears streaming down my face.

"Sweetheart, I convinced them not to. But when we went up to tell Peeta, he was gone." Haymitch says.

I look at him shocked. He didn't want them to send Peeta to district thirteen. They can't do it without his consent. He's safe.

I look to Peeta who is looking down.

"I'm sorry, Katniss,"he says.

"Why are you sorry?"I ask him.

"I caused all these problems." He says.

"I don't care,"I say to him.

* * *

I feel like a normal teenager for once. I'm grounded for a week. I'm not allowed to go hunting, or leave the house for that matter. But that doesn't mean I won't sneak out. Peeta is also grounded by Haymitch.

He has to stay with him for the weekend. It's mostly my fault, so his punishment isn't as bad. Haymitch isn't really one for punishment, so when I sneak out to visit him at night, he doesn't tell my parents or yell at me.

One night I sneak out and just walk through his front door, not even attempting to sneak through the window. I quietly walk in and hear Peeta talking to Haymitch.

"I don't know what to do, Haymitch."

"Peeta, I think you need to accept it. Accept her, because we know that there's no way in hell that she'll ever let you go again. You saw how she reacted to the thought of you just leaving to thirteen. I think she loves you but can't admit it."

"I feel like I hate her, but then I look at her and my mind changes. I can't help but want to be by her even though I know that I'm not good for her."

"You used to love her a lot."

"So I've been told."

"You would have died for her before, now it's backwards. She's the one in love with you, and you're the one who's not sure."

"I wish I could... I want to love her, but every time I try, I end up having a flashback. I don't want to hurt her."

"You guys are like my kids, or as close as I'll get to some. I won't let you hurt her, and I won't let her hurt you."

I hear the chair scoot and Peeta says,"I'm going to bed."

I look around and decide to hide behind the coat rack. I watch as Peeta walks up to his room and listen for the door shutting. Then I hear Haymitch say,"I know you're there Katniss, you can come out now."

I contemplate whether to stay hidden or go. I hear him say,"suit yourself, but knowing you, you shouldn't let your thoughts sit."

I step out and into the kitchen.

"How did you know?"

"You always come at this time and you're never late. Why would today any different?"

I guess he's right.

"So what's on your mind?" He asks.

"Peeta."

"Well I could've guessed that,"he says rolling his eyes.

"I need him back."

"Yes."

"Haymitch, you don't understand the depth of our relationship!"I say angrily.

"Believe me sweetheart, those walls weren't thick enough. I know the depth of your relationship."

I take a seat and place my face in my hands. I feel a hand rub my back as I let a few tears slip. Why am I so weak?

"Sweetheart, don't do this... stop beating yourself up."

I stay quiet.

"Sweetheart, why don't you go see him?"

"I don't think I should."

"Suit yourself."He says.

I get up from the chair and make my way out. But before I reach the door, I stop and look to the stairs.

I hate it when Haymitch is right.


	9. A sight

Katniss pov

I look up the stairs and decide that I can't help myself.

I walk up to the room that has the door shut and the lights on behind it. The room Peeta is staying in. I knock first, but when there is no answer, I slowly open the door. He's not in there.

But he is in the bathroom connected to it.

Steam pours out of the cracked door.

I look around the room and find his clothes everywhere, his bag in the corner. The smell of dill and cinnamon fills the air. Then I hear a moan come from behind the door. I can't help my curiosity.

I peep my head through the crack and look in the direction of the noise. Peeta leans up against the wall, his manhood in his hand as he furiously jerks off. His eyes are squeezed shut, his leg is off.

Then I hear him moan my name.

My legs clench together.

Then he comes with a grunt. I gasp.

Oh shit!

"Katniss?!"he screams right before he falls. I guess I didn't say that in my head. I run over to him because he is starting to bleed from hitting his head on the knob for the shower.

"Peeta!"

He holds his head and groans.

I open the shower and put on his leg. Then I help him to the bed.

"How's your head feel?"I ask him.

"Not very good."

"Let me see,"I say and look at the top of his head. It's bleeding, but not badly. Just a little.

"What are you doing here?"he asks.

"I always come at this time." I say.

"You don't come and watch me shower!"he says.

"I came up to see you, and then I heard...I heard stuff."

"I see you're not so squeamish around nudity anymore."

I blush.

"You made sure I was covered when you took care of me in our games, real or not real?"

"Real." I say,"and I see you're still okay with people seeing you naked "

"Well I didn't really have a choice,"he counters with a laugh.

"I see you're not so innocent. I think you secretly have been this way the whole time,"he jokes.

"No. You just bring this out of me," I say.

I pick up his underwear and throw them at him. He puts them on and say,"so why did you come here?"

"I wanted to see you."

"Did you wanna talk about something?"He asks me.

"Yeah..."

"What?"

"Well, first of all, I'm sorry for walking in on you showering."

"I'm sure that wasn't just 'walking in',"he says.

"I, uh, heard you and was curious."

"I see,"he says.

"I also heard you say my name."

"Yeah...uh.."

"So you think of me?"

"I never stop."

"Then why do you push me away?"I ask him.

"I don't want to hurt you again."He says looking down at his hands.

"I can help you. I can help you get back to normal."

"Katniss."

"I can't live without you, Peeta."

"Katniss..."He sighs.

It hurts. I look away from him and stare at the door before I take off. He reaches out for me but I keep running, even as I hear him call my name. I run home, back to my room and lock myself in the closet.

I wish my feelings wouldn't get in the way. I wish I would've known earlier. How did Peeta put up with me all these years? He liked me for so many years! I would have given up.

I shouldn't give up on him.

I didn't realize that I fell asleep until I wake up to knocking on the closet door. I open it to find my dad.

"Morning, Katniss." He says. "Did you have a nightmare?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that,"I say getting up.

"Well, good news is, you're not on restriction anymore."

"I'm not?"

"No. Your mom and I have decided that if you're old enough to lead a rebellion, you're old enough to make your own decisions and shouldn't be set on restriction."

"Thank you."

"Are you okay?"he asks me.

"Am I ever okay?"

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised." He says. "But you've always been strong in hard times."

"I wish I didn't have to be so often."

"Things will only get better, Katniss."

"I hope so,"I say.

"Let me tell you a story,"he says and has me sit on the bed next to him.

"Okay..."

"Things weren't always easy with your mom and I. When we were 17, we fell in love with each other. But that took a lot of work. Your mom was seeing someone else. It was Farrell Mellark. They were close but things weren't what she wanted it to be. And I was just a boy from the seam, I didn't think she would actually fall for me. But she did. And even though the world was against us, we worked hard to get to where we are. Her dad was the biggest force against us because he wanted a batter life for his daughter. But your mom and I, well we were head over heals for each other. And even if it meant that she had to give up her life as a merchant, she did anything to be with me. And even if it meant that I had to break the rules to feed her and my family, then so be it. I was in love, and I still am. But it didn't come easy, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Love isn't always easy, but people still do crazy things for it. Just remember that..."

A/N so I'm going to make a one shot story of Mr and Mrs Everdeen and how they fell in love. So keep an eye out for it and please review


	10. lockdown

I watched American Sniper, and I have to say, Chris Kyle was truly a hero. I'm so thankful to have people like him fighting for my country. And it's very unfortunate that a veteran killed him while he was trying to help him. God bless his family.

Katniss pov

I wake to a siren coming from outside. Soon followed by Prim running into my room and jumping into bed with me. I hold her and ask her what's wrong.

"There's a lockdown. Mutts attacked someone in the square. They look like wild dogs, but bigger and they're outside the house." She cries. I hold her and run my hand over her hair.

"Shhh, it's okay little duck,"I say.

When she's calmed down a little, I take a look outside my window and sure enough a mutt is stalking around outside near Peeta's house. It sniffs the air and gets closer and closer to his house.

"Oh no..."I say and start for the door.

"What is it?" Prim asks.

"They're heading towards Peeta's house."

I run downstairs almost knocking over my mom as I run to the phone. I quickly dial his number and wait until he picks up.

"Katniss?"he asks.

"Peeta what are you doing right now?"

"I'm baking, why?"

"There are mutts outside your house!" I look outside the window I'm standing by and watch as they step onto his lawn and approach his house. Then it lunges and I scream along with Peeta as it bursts through his door. I hear him drop the floor and I hear the sound of the mutt.

I run to grab my bow and run outside without shoes on.

I hear my dad yelling at me to come back but I just run. There are two mutts. Something catches my eye. Peeta is on his roof. I watch as he runs as fast as he can and then jump to the roof of the house next to me. One of the mutts exits his house and catches sight of me.

I load my bow and shoot it into the eye of the beast. Then I shoot another into its 's still running, but it's slowing down. Finally, with my third shot, it drops a few feet away from me.

I run to the house and hurry upstairs to let him in through my window, but Prim has already done so. I hug him tightly as soon as he gets in.

"As soon as you told me, I turned off the oven but then a mutt burst through the door so I ran upstairs."

"You're okay,"I say and hold him tighter,"you're okay."

"I'm okay,"he says and holds me.

"I was so worried,"I say into his shoulder.

That's when my mom comes in.

"Katniss,"she says worried.

"Mom, the mutts tried to attack Peeta!"

"Did they get you anywhere?" She asks him,"are you alright?"

"I'm fine, thank you." He says.

I take his hand and say,"let's go downstairs."

He follows me down the stairs and to the couch that sits in front of a coffee table and the tv. We sit down on it and he says,"how do you think this happened?"

"I'm not sure. Let's check the news."

We rarely ever watch the tv. But each district has a station dedicated to the news for itself. A reporter stands inside a building and is talking about the lockdown.

"No one is sure where it came from, but it is assumed to be from the woods, possibly released from the capitol there but with no intentions of it wandering to twelve. Two of the five mutts have been spotted in front of Victor, Peeta Mellark's house. One has wandered into the seam, and the other two wander the square."

My dad walks in from the kitchen and asks,"are you two okay?"

"Yes,"I say.

"Don't ever run out in a lockdown again, Katniss."He says with a fierce voice. I nod.

I look at Peeta and notice how close we are sitting on this little love seat. I'm practically on his lap. His hand is still in mine. His breathing shallow and fast. I can almost hear his heartbeat.

But mine is exactly the same.

"How long do you think we'll be on lockdown?"he asks.

"I'm not sure. It should be minutes, it could be hours." I'm hoping for the latter.

As the day goes on, it gets colder and colder. On the news, it says a storm is coming and that hopefully it will scare the mutts. But mutts can live in harsh conditions. When the storm breaks, it causes the power to go out so we can't keep up with the news anymore.

"I hope Haymitch is fine,"Peeta says.

"He's probabl wallowing in his alcohol, he'll be fine."

My mom comes in with some hot chocolate she made from using a gas stove, and then says that she's going to bed. We thank her for the hot chocolate and then decide that we're too cold just sitting on the couch.

Peeta grabs some blankets while I stir the fire. He sets them on the floor right in front of the fire and then moves our hot chocolate from the table to the area that we will be sitting in.

I look around the candle lit room and watch as his figure flickers on the wall. Then he sits down next to me and wraps a blanket around himself. He holds out an arm, offering for me to slide in, which I do. Then his arm rests on mine as he holds me in the dark room.

"Peeta,"I say.

He sets down his mug and looks at me.

I reach up and kiss his soft lips with mine. This kiss feels so perfect. Like everything is right in the world. Like it belongs. He wraps his arms around me and his fingers go into my hair as I lay him back to the floor and deepen the kiss until we are out of breath.

"So beautiful,"he says.

"Stay with me?"

"Always."


	11. morning mishaps

A/N sorry it's been forever since I updated, I just got back for my trip to Hawaii

Katniss pov

When I wake up, the fire has died down and its the middle of the night. Peeta is still asleep, his arm is laid around my waist the other behind his head. I move my hand to lay on his chest. His heart beat is comforting.

I lay my head back down on his chest and curl up to him. I kiss the spot that my head lays on. I look up at his blond curls and his resting face. It's beautiful. It's calm. I never realised how young he really is.

HHe has very little wrinkles at the corner of his eyes, and his skin is smooth and soft. His eyelashes are long and dark, they kiss his cheek.

I run a hand over his cheek and then kiss it. He stirs slightly but doesn't wake. His arms wrap around me tighter as he pulls me to him. I take in his scent of cinnamon and dill. It calms me.

Then I hear his breathing hitch and he wakes up. "Katniss?"he asks.

"Yes?"

"Did you have a nightmare?"he asks as he moves hair from my face.

"Yeah, but I'm okay now,"I say and lock his fingers in mine. He brings it up to his face and kisses my hand.

"I always have nightmares too,"he says as runs a hand over my hair. I lay my head down on his chest. His breathing is calm but his heartbeat picks up. I close my eyes and will myself to fall asleep on his chest.

When I wake again, it's to the sound of my dad putting on his boots. He hasn't noticed us, or at least I don't think he has. And if he has, I honestly don't care. I look over at Peeta who is still asleep. His chest rises and falls with every breath he takes.

I move a golden lock that fell into his face. His hair is so soft and smooth and beautiful. I toy with it for a while until I feel myself grow tired, in which I fall asleep again.

When yet I wake again, Peeta isn't by my side. But I hear laughter from the kitchen. The sound of his deep laughter is soothing. Then I hear the higher pitch laughter that is from Prim. Her laugh is so crisp and fresh like the spring time. It lights up the room.

I get up and walk towards the light of the kitchen. Peeta is rolling some dough as Prim stirs whatever is the bowl. They laugh together and I notice the mess of flour that is all over the counter and on each of them.

I stand in the kitchen doorway and watch with a smile on my face. Peeta loves Prim like a sister. He'd do anything for her. And Prim looks up to Peeta, like the brother she never really had...Well besides Gale but he decided to leave.

I watch as he teaches her how to bake and something fills my heart. I can't explain the feeling. But it makes me happy. Peeta looks towards the door and notices me. He smiles and says,"good morning,"with a giant grin.

"What's going on in here?"I ask playfully.

"Just teaching Prim how to make cheese buns."

"Oh good! Now you can make me some when Peeta isn't here,"I joke.

"I doubt they'd be half as good as his,"Prim says.

"Oh I don't know, you might give him a run for his money. I might not even need him after that, I'll have you to bake for me,"I say with a wink. They both laugh and Peeta swings me into a hug and whispers,"you'll need me for other things,"in my ear.

He goes to lean in to kiss my neck but then remembers that Prim is right there and pulls away quickly. Prim just laughs and says,"you guys can kiss, you act like I haven't seen it before, plus you two are really cute together."

"Thanks,"Peeta says and hugs her. Then he leans in and presses a kiss to her forehead. She laughs and says,"you're supposed to be kissing her, not me."

He turns back to me and dips me into a kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back. Then he slowly pulls away and says,"nothing will ever compare to kissing you."

"Well, maybe cheese buns,"I say which causes him to laugh, along with Prim.

"Fine, maybe not the cheese buns,"he says.

I take a seat at the counter and watch as Peeta finishes the dough and helps Prim form the buns. When he has them in the oven, he looks at the mess covering his shirt and says,"I need to shower!"

"What happened?"I ask.

"Flour mishap,"he simply says but it causes Prim to giggle,let's just say she decided that l needed to be wearing it too."

I laugh and pull flour out of his hair.

"I see..."I say as I slowly reach for the flour,"but she missed a spot,"I say as I throw flour into his face. Prim laughs even harder and Peeta stands there baffled. He comes to his senses and grabs me, pulling me into a kiss that gets flour all over me.

"How do you like that, Everdeen?"

"As much as I like this,"and that's when I get flour into his hair.

"Fine, truce,"he says raising his hands in the air surrendering.

After we clean up the mess, the timer on the over beeps signaling that they are done. He sets them on the cooling rack and I instantly reach for one."

"They're too hot, you have to wait."

"No way I'm waiting for these,"I say as I grab one anyways.

He just rolls his eyes and says,"fine, but don't complain when you burn your mouth."

I roll my eyes and take a bite. It is hot but I don't feel like my mouth is burned. That's when I hear Peeta sigh as he looks at his watch.

"I have to go,"he says sadly.

"Why?"I ask.

"It's um..It's we'll, I have an appointment with Dr. Aurelius. Which by the way told me to tell you that you have to answer the phone sometime."

I sigh and nod. He hugs me one last time before leaving. I watch sadly as he walks away.


	12. fixing up

Katniss pov

Hours later, there's a knock on the door. My mom gets up to answer it while I help my dad skin the geese he shot. From around the corner I hear my mom say,"Haymitch, what a surprise!"

"Hello Delilah, is Katniss here?"

"Yeah, come on in." My mom says..

I quickly wash my hands and then go to the living room where Haymitch stands in the entry way. He has one hand in his pocket, the other is on his chin, rubbing it. I lean up against the door and cross my arms across my chest.

"Hello, Sweetheart,"he says looking at me.

"Haymitch,"I simply say.

"I think you should come with me,"he says.

I give him a confused face, but I go with him saying,"I'll be right back,"to my parents. As soon as we get outside and the door is shut I turn to Haymitch and ask,"what's happened now?"

"Well, the boy is locked up in his house and I heard crashing noises. I figured you had something to do with it."

I sigh and say,"no, not this time...well, maybe! I don't know! Haymitch, we kissed last night!"

"You kissed?!"

"A couple of times."

"Damn, you two are complicated! You can't stand to be by each other, then you try to be friends,then you are making out?!"

"We were cuddling and then, I don't know, it happened!"

"Ugh, I don't want to hear about your relationship!"

"God, you act like we had sex!"

He raises an eyebrow.

"No! We haven't! Lately...No,"I say,"anyways, he had an appointment with Dr Aurelius via phone, that why he is having a breakdown. So, yeah it's probably my fault. I need to go check on him."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, Sweetheart,"he says,"I'm going in there first because who knows what kind of state he's in."

"Okay, fine," I say.

Haymitch walks to the door and bangs on it. There's no answer but there is a crash and the sound of something shattering. "Open up, boy!" Haymitch yells.

There's still no answer so I run to the side where his window to the kitchen is. "Katniss, don't!" Haymitch yells. Sure enough the window is open slightly. So I push it and climb in. There is glass everywhere. I can hear Haymitch yelling, but I shut the window behind me and lock it.

I look around for a spot to jump down. It's mostly covered in broken plates and glass, but I do find a spot where I can jump down without getting cut up. I carefully walk into the living room. It looks worse than the kitchen. Flowers are thrown everywhere, vases are broken. At least next call he won't have anything to break. Feathers cover the couch where he ripped a pillow. I look around but I don't see him.

I walk up stairs and go to his room. It's untouched. So I go to his art room. As soon as I walk in, I see him sitting on the floor with a picture in his arms. He cries and rocks back and forth. I look next to him to see that paint is everywhere, pictures have been punched, my face specifically.

"Peeta,"I say softly.

He freezes, his breathing is hard.

"Peeta, what happened?" I ask cautiously.

"You killed my family, real or not real?"

"That's not real,"I say taking a step closer.

He looks over his shoulder at me. His beautiful blue eyes are even brighter with the tears that have been leaving his eyes for I don't know how long. I reach out to him and say,"come here, Peeta."

He hesitantly reaches out for my hand, but takes it. He looks extremely tired, so I lead him to his bedroom. He lays down on the bed and I lay next to him, petting his soft hair until he falls asleep. His hand relaxes and the picture falls out. I flatten out the crumpled picture and see that it is his family. His dad stands next to his mom with that comforting smile that Peeta always has. His mom has a strait face, it's nicer than he normal glare. And his brothers, Bran and Nickel stand next to Peeta. Bran was the oldest, he was taller than his brothers and had short blonde hair and blue eyes, Nickel had longer hair than both of his brothers, and like his mom, he had hazel eyes. Then there is Peeta.

He looks so much younger than he does now even though it was just a couple of years ago. The games really changed him. He isn't that innocent boy he was before. He is a scarred, grown, mature man.

I look at him sleeping. His face looks younger than he does when he is awake, but he looks older than he does in that picture. I close the door behind me so that he doesn't wake up while I clean his house up.

When I get downstairs, I hear banging on the door.

Oh shit! I completely forgot about Haymitch!

When I open up the door, he steps in and says,"What the-"

"Shhhh, he's asleep! Now are you going to help me clean up or just yell at me?"

He rolls his eyes and sighs. "Fine,"he grumbles. I find a broom and dust pan in his closet and start to clean up the glass and shattered plates in the kitchen, then the living room. Haymitch goes to throw away the pillows, but I stop him. Hopefully my mom can sew them up for him. So I just stuff the feathers in the pillows and hold them close.

After half an hour, Haymitch leaves saying that he needs a drink.

As soon as I get the kitchen cleaned, I go to the living room and finish what Haymitch didn't. I pick up welting flowers and fix books that fell from the shelves. After I fold up the blankets, I go to the phone and call Effie.

"Hello, Peeta?"

"It's actually me, Katniss."

"Oh Katniss! I must have your numbers mixed-"

"No, I'm actually calling from Peeta's phone."

"Oh, how is he?"

"He had a bad flashback. That's actually why I'm calling. I need to make a few orders, he kinda broke things."

"Oh of course! What do you need, dear?"

"Um, cups, preferably plastic, maybe a few glass. Plates, vases, a new coffee table, blank canvas, beige wall paint, and a frame, on that will fit a photo, and some light bulbs. I'm also going to need some curtains. Charge this all to me."

"Okay, I'll make those orders and get them to you in two hours! Isn't it great how fast I can get things to you? I love the advancement in transportation and merchandising!"

"Thank you, Effie."I say gratefully.

"Anytime. Tell Peeta I miss him, and say hello to Haymitch for me!"

"Okay, bye, Effie."

"Bye, dear."

Effie is right on track, because two hours later, the stuff arrives. I put away all the dishes and then quickly run to my house to pick some of the primroses Peeta planted so I can put them into a vase. When I get everything small set up, I start to take out the broken coffee table. But it's proving to be a difficult task.

When I finally do get it out, I set up the new one. Then I turn to the picture frame. It's the only thing left for these rooms. I quickly but quietly slip into Peeta's room and take the picture from his hand.

Then I go back downstairs to smooth it out and frame it.

I go over to the phone and call my house, but no one answers, so I just hang up and decide to try to sew the pillows myself. The first one ends up looking deformed and I'm working on the second one when Peeta comes downstairs.

"You did all this?" He asks as he walks over to sit by me.

"Yeah, well Haymitch helped a little, but he left for a drink."

"Is this new?"he asks placing his hand on the coffee table.

"Yeah, I uh, ordered some things for you."

"Like what?"

"Cups, plates, paint for the walls in the art room, canvas, vases, light bulbs, this and curtains. I also have a surprise for you."

I walk over to the kitchen and pick up the frame. Then I walk back over to Peeta and hand it to him. He gasps as he looks at the picture. Tears leave his eyes and he stands it up and sets it on the side table. Then he turns around and stares at me.

Then suddenly he grabs me and hugs me.

"Thank you, Katniss."He says and kisses my shoulder. I just relax into him and close my eyes.

"You're welcome,"I say and breathe him in,"I'm sorry about your pillows though, I think I made them worse."

He starts to laugh and says,"it's okay." Then he pulls back and gets this look in his eyes. "Can I kiss you?"

"Of course you can,"I say and lean into him. His lips meet mine and he lightly bites my lips. His lips move so gently with mine that it takes my breath away. My hands reach up to wrap into his hair and he tugs on my lips with his teeth. Right as I feel his tongue slip into my mouth, we hear the door open and the clearing of someone's throat.

We pull away and find Haymitch standing at the door.

"Sorry to interrupt your make out session, but there's been an accident and your dad was in it."


	13. What happened?

A/N sorry for not updating as often, I've been really busy! Anyways, Oh No! What happened to her dad?! ;)

Katniss pov

"There's been an accident, and your dad was in it."

I feel Peeta steady me at this news. I freeze in terror as tears leave my eyes. "Where is he? What happened?"I ask.

"Your mom is taking him to the hospital, she sent me to come get you. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but Rory said he saw everything. Someone did it intentionally."

"Who would want to hurt my dad?"I ask hysterically.

"I don't know sweetheart, but I don't think it's about your dad. I think it's about you."

Peeta takes my hand in his and squeezes it. His touch is comforting and it calms me a little, but I still feel like I'm going to fall over. "We need to get to the hospital,"I say before I start running.

Peeta keeps up with me while Haymitch falls behind. We run through the town towards the hospital. When we get in there, Hazelle and the kids are waiting in the waiting room.

"Katniss, oh honey," Hazelle says softly as she gets up and hugs me.

"Where are they?"I ask her.

"In the room, the nurse will tell you."

"Thank you, Hazelle." I say before I turn to Rory. "I heard you saw everything?"

"Yes! But I didn't see the face of the person. This man came up to your dad while he was helping me haul materials for houses. He said something about a problem in the mines. I was just setting down bricks when they took off towards the mine. I was going to go help them when I saw him push him down the mine while the elevator was down. He had a gun so I took off and found Thom to help me. The man was gone when we came back. I'm sorry I didn't catch the guy."

"Rory, you did the right thing,"I say and hug him,"thank you."

"It's no prob, Katniss. I just wish I could've helped him."

"Me too."

Peeta and I walk to the desk and ask,"I need to see my dad, John Everdeen, what room is he in?"

"He's in B14, it's family only. You said you were his daughter, and he is..?"

Peeta turns to me and says,"I'll just-"

"He's my husband,"I say and cut him off.

"Okay, right this way."

As we walk I whisper,"please stay with me, I need you."

"Always."

When we walk into the room, I see worry all over my mom's face. She looks a little surprised when she sees Peeta with me, but doesn't question it. Prim runs to hug me and I hold her tight as I hug her back. She's crying. I run a hand over her hair and say,"shhhh, it's alright, little duck."

I look at the bed to see dad hooked up to some machine. He's unconscious. And he looks really pale. I turn to my mom and ask,"how is he doing?"

"Peeta, will you take Prim down to the cafeteria? She hasn't eaten anything since breakfast and she needs to."

"Of course,"Peeta says and Prim reluctantly goes with him.

"I didn't want to scare Prim, she's already hysterical."

"So how is he?"

"They don't know if he'll survive. He has a collapsed lung, so he has to be on this machine to breathe. His ribs are broken, and he has minor internal bleeding."

"Oh Lord,"I sigh as I cover my mouth. Tears prick at my eyes.

"Come here,"my mom says and pulls me into a hug. I cry into her shoulder. She strokes my hair and says,"it's okay, baby, I know it hurts."

After a while her stomach growls so I say,"you should go eat too, mom. I'll stay here with dad."

"Okay,"she sighs,"you're right."

I take a seat next to my dad and reach for his hand. I feel his hand squeeze mine and I jump. I look to see him weakly smiling at me. "Dad!"I say and cover his hand in both of mine.

"Hey, sweetie." He says weakly.

"How do you feel?"

"Honestly, I feel like shit." He starts to laugh after saying that but ends up coughing. "Where is your mom and sister?"

"Eating. Peeta is with them too."

"Okay."

There's a knock on the door and a nurse walks in with food for him and medicine. "Here you go Mr Everdeen, and after you eat, I have medicine that's going to put you to sleep."

He struggles to move so I say,"here, I'll feed you."

"Fine."

The nurse hands me the tray and leaves.

I take the spoon and scoop it into the oatmeal. "It's just like when I was little, just the other way around,"I say. He starts to laugh again and says,"yeah, you're right. Only I won't spit up on myself. And try to take the spoon from you."

We both laugh together and I say,"wow, was I really that much trouble?"

"You were very stubborn, and still are." I roll my eyes and feed him. After the nurse comes back and gives him the medicine and he passes out again. Peeta returns and says,"your mom and Prim are in the cafeteria."

"Okay."

He comes and stands by me and takes my hand.

"Are you okay?"

"I could be better."

He kisses the top of my head and says,"it'll be okay."

My mom and Prim come in after a while and Prim ends up falling asleep in the chair. Around ten, a nurse comes in and says,"visiting hours are over. Only one person is allowed to stay here with him."

"Why don't you take Prim home,"my mom says to me,"I'll stay with your dad."

"Okay, I'll just wake her up then."

"No, you don't have to,"Peeta says,"I'll carry her."

He scoops her up and then we leave. When we get to the house, Peeta tucks her into bed and closes the door. He gives me a hug before he goes to leave. I grab his arm and say,"stay, please."

"Always."

He leans down and kisses me on the lips then he holds me to his chest. The smell of him calms me down. My stomach growls and he says,"let me cook you dinner, you didn't eat."

"Okay, I'm going to go up and bathe."

"Okay."

I make my way to my room and strip out of my clothes. I walk across the cold floor to the bathroom and start the bath. I wrap my hair up and sink down. The warm water soothes my body, and it helps relax my mind.

Ten minutes later, I hear his footsteps walking upstairs. The door go my room is open, but the door to the bathroom is cracked. He stands at the door with a bowl, not looking in, and says,"dinner is ready."

"You can come in."I say.

"O-Okay..."He says and opens the door.

He focuses on the wall as if something on it is really interesting.

"Here, I made you soup." He says not looking at me.

"Peeta."

"Yes?"

"You don't have to look away."

He turns to look at me, and only focuses on my face. He hands me the soup and then turns to walk out.

"Why don't you stay, and talk to me."

He takes a seat on the toilet and says,"what do you want to talk about?"

I stand up and set the bowl aside. "Actually, I don't want to talk about anything. I want you."I say boldly as I straddle his lap with my naked form.I lean in to kiss him and take his shirt off, but he stops me.

"Katniss, I can't do this. You're just hurt, and sad. This isn't really what you want. You just want some relief. And I wouldn't feel right doing that to you when it will just complicate everything."

"You had no problem doing it in the train!"I say angrily.

"I thought I was going to die for you in that arena! I thought I was never going to kiss you again in private."

An her boils up inside me. How dare he turn down me! He turned down my offer of having sex with him. "Get out!"I say as I stand up. He nods and walks out of the room. I sink down to the ground and that's when I start to cry.

An hour later I change into pyjamas and go downstairs.

Peeta stands in the kitchen with cheese buns sitting in front of him. Even though I yelled at him to get out earlier, it's a relief to see him standing there.

I take a seat at the counter and he says,"I made these for you."

"Thanks."

It's silent for a while, until he says,"listen, I just don't want any sex of ours to be meaningful. I still have strong feelings for you."

I don't look at him. I can't. All the embarrassment for earlier comes to me, and I realize how ridiculous I was being. So accept his apology cheese buns and say sheepishly,"will you stay with me, still?"

"Always."


	14. The Next Morning

A/N so I'm half way done redoing those chapters, so I've decided to write a chapter. Hope you like it.

Katniss pov

I wake up to Peeta lightly snoring in my ear, his arm lays across my stomach, his hand between my breasts. I turn my head and kiss his forehead. His curls are messy with sleep, his face is peaceful as he rests.

The memory of last night comes to mind and I am flooded with the feeling of embarrassment. I can't believe I asked him to have sex with me and got turned down, and yet he is still here laying with me. My cheeks feel hot and red. Oddly enough I don't feel embarrassed about him coming into the bathroom with me.

I move his hand and slowly get up from the bed, trying to not wake him. My steps are quiet as I move to the bathroom. When I'm done going to the bathroom, I walk back into the room to find him awake. His hands are behind his head, a sleepy smile on his face. "Good morning,"he says yawning.

"Morning."

I take a seat next to him and lean into him. The phone rings, but it stops really soon so that means Prim answered it. I get up and go downstairs where I see Prim standing by the receiver talking on the phone. When she hangs up, I ask,"who was that?"

"Mom, she said that they are taking dad to a special part of the hospital. She's going to be there all day and she'll call us when he can have visitors."

"Okay."

I hear Peeta's footsteps coming down the stairs soon followed by the sound of him walking into the kitchen.

"Hey, Peeta," Prim says.

"Good morning,"he says to my little sister, then says,"so what do you guys want for breakfast?"

"Wow, carries me home and offers to cook, you better keep him," Prim says.

Peeta smiles brightly and laughs,"well, I mean she skins and hunts animals, so I think I'm the one who needs to keep her."

I smile and shake my head lightly. My two weirdos, blonde, silly weirdos. My stomach starts to growl so Peeta says,"so what are you hungry for?"

"Umm...I'm not sure?"I say.

"Prim?" He asks looking towards her.

"Um, French toast sounds really good."

"Alright, ladies, French toast it is," he tries to say in a suave voice. Prim and I bust up laughing which causes him to laugh too.

"Very 'suave' Peeta,"Prim says sarcastically.

"Hey, I think it was sexy,"I say jokingly.

"Oh, really?" He says using the voice.

"Yeah, but some French toast would be even more sexy."

The phone starts to ring so Peeta picks it up,"Hello? Everdeen residence, Peeta speaking."

He's silent for a second. His expression blank.

"Uh-huh, here,"he says handing the phone to me.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Katniss,"a familiar voice says to me.

"Gale,"I say quietly.

"Hey, I um, I heard about your dad and I wanted to send my condolences. I'm also going to be in town on business and I thought we could see each other."

"Um, sure..."

"Okay, I'll see you when I'm in town."

"Alright. Bye Gale."

I'm not sure how I feel about this. He left everyone for a job in two. But he was my best friend for a long time. My best friend who's in love with me. But I care about Peeta, and I won't lose sight of that. I guess we'll just have to see how it all works out when he comes.

When I look at Peeta, he is cooking. He looks angry but not deadly. Like he's in control but he's definitely not happy about this. When he's done cooking he says,"I should go home."

"But you didn't eat anything?"I ask,"you should eat, Peeta. These taste amazing."

"It's okay."

He kisses my forehead and then is gone.

I groan and rest my head on the table. "Fuck!" I say into the table.

"What are you going to do?" Prim asks.

"I don't know! I'm going to see Gale, but I need Peeta to know that I don't have feelings for Gale. Only him."

"You need to go talk to him, right now,"she says,"you could lose him if he thinks anything could be going on between you and Gale."

"Yeah, you're right. I can't fuck this up. Not again." I get up and go to his house. The door is locked so I knock on it.

"Peeta! Let me in!"

Nothing happens.

"Please, I need to talk to you."

Still nothing.

"I'll break down the door,"I say.

That's when I hear him unlock the door. He needs to know how I really feel about him. As soon as he opens the door I wrap my arms around him. He's surprised and it takes him a couple of seconds to react.

"What are you doing?"he asks.

"I want you to know how I feel. I don't want you to have any doubt about my feelings. I know Gale coming won't be easy on you. But I think of you know how I really feel, you'll believe me when I say I don't have any feelings for him."

He's silent, waiting for me to continue.

"Peeta, I can live without him. But you I can't live without. I-I...um, I just thought you should know that." Damn it Katniss! Stop choking! I mentally curse myself as I choke up and I can't finish what I want to say.

"Okay,"he says,"what do you consider us?"

"I consider us more than friends, Peeta."

"More than friends,"he repeats,"like boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"Yes."


	15. A New Level

A/N EXPLICIT CONTENT :)

Katniss pov

Today school started back up for Prim, my mom is working, and my dad is still in the hospital, so I was completely alone. So I call Peeta.

"Hello?" He answers his phone.

"Hey, it's me."

"Oh, hey Katniss!" He says happily.

"Are you doing anything?"I ask.

"I'm just painting, but I can stop. Why?"

"I kinda have something I want to show you."

"Okay, I'll be over soon." He says.

"Okay, I'll see you soon."I say and hang up.

I search for the basket my mom used to give to me to collect fruit when I was younger. I load it with apples and meat and waters. I also grab some cheese buns that Peeta made for me. Then cover it all with a blanket to keep the bugs off of it and for us to sit on.

I look out my window at the sunny day. It's been really hot lately. When Peeta comes, I say,"come on, I'm taking you somewhere special."

"Okay,"he says and follows me as I take his hand in mine. I lead him to the lake that my father used to take me to. The walk is long and hot but worth it. When we see the lake glistening in the sunshine, it's all so worth it.

"Wow, it's so beautiful, Katniss,"he says.

I lean in and kiss his cheek while still holding his hand. "I hope you're hungry,"I whisper in his ear,"because I am."

I set the basket down and say,"I brought us food."

"Wow, beautiful lake and a picnic."

"There's more,"I say.

He raises an eyebrow at me but I just shake my head and say,"you'll see."

We playfully eat the food and after as Peeta lays there on the blanket I stand and start to strip my clothes. My confidence surprised me, but I'm ready. I'm ready for him.

"What are you doing?"he asks raggedly.

"We're going swimming."

"I didn't bring a swimsuit."

"You don't need clothes,"I say and remove my bra and underwear.

He stands and starts to unbutton his shirt. I walk over there trying to look as sexy as I can, and drop to my knees right in front of him. I hope my nervousness doesn't show. I take his pants and shove them down. His buldge strains against his underwear. It's like an electric shock straight to my core.

I take a shaky breath before I pull his underwear off. His glorious manhood stares me in the face. It's so long and thick. Just as I remember. I bite my lip and look into his eyes before I take him into my mouth.

His mouth hangs open and he moans my name. He twitches in my mouth as I run my tongue under his throbbing cock. I take him until I feel him poking the back of my throat. I try to not choke on him.

I can feel myself dripping.

I move one hand to his balls and slowly massage them. He moans my name and fists my hair. "Fuck, Katniss,"he moans.

I move my other hand down to my clit and start to rub it as I suck him off. I feel his balls tighten as he barely gasps,"I'm-"

His cock twitches and pumps his warm seed down my throat. I swallow all of it and then slowly get up as Peeta nearly falls over. I kiss him deeply and he moans into my mouth,"that was amazing...God that was amazing. But now it's your turn,"he has a devious smile.

He pulls me into the water and starts to make out with me. I playfully splash him and he picks me up, wrapping my legs around him. He moves his mouth to my neck and then sucks my nipples.

He brings me to a boulder on the side of the lake and lays me on it while he stands in the water. He spreads my legs apart and starts to make out with my inner thigh, working his way closer to my hot center.

"Peeta,"I moan trying to get him to where I want him. He teases me a little more until I'm absolutely dripping. If I weren't so sexually frustrated, I would be embarrassed. He finally moves his lips to my heated center where he runs his tongue all the way down my slit.

I bite my lip and let him pleasure me.

He moves his lips to my clit and starts to suck there. It takes everything I have to not scream out his name. I thrust my hips up into his mouth and he moves his hand to hold my hips still.

He moves his tongue down and enters me. His tongue thrusting into my heat is almost as good as the real thing. His nose applies the perfect pressure to my clit and I come instantly. I lay there breathing heavily as I try to catch my breath.

He comes up and kisses me. My own taste on his lips.

He holds me and looks into my eyes.

"I can feel myself falling more and more for you. Every day."

"I've already fallen."I say.

"I fell once, and I'll fall again." He says almost in a bittersweet tone.

I lean in and kiss him. When I pull away he asks,"have we ever done what we did today before?"

"No. We've never done this."

"But we've gone all the way,"he confirms.

"Yes."

"Okay, I don't think I want to go all the way today. I want to do that when I'm confident of everything. When I can truly show you how I feel, Katniss."

"Okay,"I say sleepily.

"Sleep, love."He says smoothly.

He pulls the blanket over us. We don't go all the way today, but it's okay because our relationship is on a completely different level now. We are progressing in ways I never thought about before. And I like it.


	16. The second first time

Katniss pov

Today my dad finally returns home. He's very hiped up on drugs though, so he's not himself. My mom is very stressed but every time I ask to help her out she just waves me away and says,"I'll do better if I do it myself."

So eventually I just stop asking.

Prim is at school, so I decide to just let mom do what she does, and go see Peeta. It's about 10, the normal time he is baking. I knock on the door and I can smell the cheese buns from here.

When he opens the door, he is shirtless, sweaty and in his sleep pants, his hair still ruffled from sleep. He smiles at me and says,"you are just in time."

"Good,"I say and wrap my arms around his neck,"is breakfast ready?" I kiss him deeply until I hear Haymitch yelling,"get a room! And close your window!" Peeta just smiles at him and then makes out with me more obnoxiously.

Haymitch just mumbles something grumpily and walks back to his geese. Peeta and I both laugh as we stumble into the house. He takes me by the hand and leads me to the kitchen.

"So what brings you to my house?"

"Can't I see my sweaty baker boy?"I ask.

"I guess I could make time for my sexy hunter girl. But that means I'll have to tell my other girlfriend that I can see her,"he jokes.

"Oh, I see, but I'm more important than her." I say back.

"Yes you are."

The timer goes off so he pulls away from me and takes out the cheese buns. "Something tells me you planned on me coming over."

"And why would you say that?"He asks.

I look over to the counter and point to a box of condoms. He blushes and says,"oh that's not what it looks like. This morning Haymitch came over and gave me a talk about sex. I guess he heard us the other night..."

Oh shit.

A few nights ago, Peeta and I were exploring each other's bodies while Prim spent the night at a friend's house and my mom was with my dad at the hospital. The Windows were open because that's how Peeta likes it and I was a little loud as I came with his tongue inside me. I did scream a lot now that I think about it...

"Oh,"I blush. I feel bad for Peeta because I'm sure that was extremely awkward.

He leans in and kisses me again. My stomach growls so he pulls back and says,"help yourself."

I reach for one and bite into it. It's so delicious. I moan in delight. Peeta adjusts his pants uncomfortably. I notice that he is trying to conceal his huge boner. That just sets me on fire! I can feel myself dripping with desire.

I moan again just to mess with him. He shifts again and blushes. Then I look him right in the eyes, and give him the sexiest look as I moan in the most sexual way I can. "Katniss!" He groans,"you're killing me!"

I just smile and say,"do you want to try out those condoms?"I ask him.

"Are you sure?"

"Peeta, we have been touching each other for the past month. And we've already had sex before. It's okay."

"But we were both about to go into the games. That was different."

"Peeta, I know my feelings for you. And they're real."

He walks to the other side of the table and kisses me deeply.

"Okay."

He takes a condom out of the box and scoops me up. He runs us up stairs to his room where he lays me down on the bed. I reach for my shirt and rip it off. He does the same with his pants until I'm laying in only my panties and he's in his underwear.

He gives me a smile as he removes my panties with his teeth. Then he moves his mouth to my waiting center. I cry out and grab his hair. I shake as he brings me to my climax. I cry out his name as he licks up my orgasm.

He brings his lips up to mine, the erotic taste of myself on his lips. I watch as he opens the condom and rolls it on himself. He kisses my neck and lines himself up with me. But before he pushes in he stops and says,"you're sure?"

"Yes, Peeta. I'm sure about you."

He leans in and kisses me passionately as he pushes into me. It's not painful like the first time, but there is some stretching since its been a while. From the noises Peeta is making, he sounds like he's enjoying it.

"Oh, you are so tight, Katniss! You feel amazing!"

I start to shift my hips so that he moves. He takes my hint and starts to thrust deep into me. I scratch down his back which makes him moan even louder. I bite his lips lightly and wrap my legs around his hips as he continues to forcefully thrust into my tight space.

I can feel my second orgasm building up as I tighten around him. Only then he comes into the rubber. It's short, but I don't blame him, it was good. He collapses on top of me and tries to catch his breath. He soon realizes that he's suffocating me so he rolls off.

He wipes sweat from my brow and says,"I'm sorry I came so fast, but I just couldn't hold on anymore. It was too good."

"Don't worry, we'll have plenty of time to get better at it." I say and kiss him again. He smiles and then gets a serious look on his face.

"You love me, real or not real?"

"Real,"I whisper.


	17. Late

Months pass and finally in December, my dad is out of his casts and restraints on is able to go hunting again. Prim is out of school for Christmas Break. And Peeta and I are getting pretty good at this sex thing.

He knows all my weak spots and I know his. He always gets to me, and within seconds I am laying with him between me. I lay on his bare chest and listen to his heart beat. He's asleep. His dreams playing behind his eyelids. I clasp his hand and kiss the top of it.

I look over at the clock and see that it is almost 1am. I should get my clothes on and go home or else my family will question me. I kiss his lips and run my fingers through his hair. He wakes up and smiles at me.

"Hey, beautiful."

"Hey yourself."

He smiles and pulls me into a deep kiss. I can feel the fire building inside so I pull away and he sighs.

"I have to go." I say sadly.

"Okay. What time is it?"

"It's almost 1."

"Oh, I guess we slept longer then planned."

"Yeah. I love you."

"I love you too,"he says.

I start to dress and then walk home. When I get home my dad is sitting there on the couch, making arrows. He doesn't look at me when I walk in. I take a seat next to him and he says,"you do know what time it is right?"

"Yes,"I say confidently.

"Katniss, I don't want you out so late. At least not without calling and saying that you're staying late. I mean you were gone since 7 this morning."

"Sorry, I fell asleep at his house."

"So what's the deal with you two? Are you friends? Are you dating?"

Considering all the sex we've been having, I'd say it's safe to say we are dating. But it's not like I can tell my dad that. "We're together." I simply say.

"Well that's good. He's a good boy, I like him."

"Yeah, Peeta is good."

"So what do you even do all day?"

'We have sex', I think to myself.

"We'll talk, or sometimes I watch him paint, or he'll teach me how to bake even though I suck at it. And sometimes we tell each other about our nightmares. And we'll play games of real or not real. And sometimes we just fall asleep."

"Oh,"my dad says. I pick up some of the material he has in front of him and help him make some more arrows. I prefer his over any capitol made arrows any day.

"So you help him?"he asks.

"We help each other."

He doesn't say anything after that. He just nods. I yawn and he says,"you should go to sleep. You look tired."

"I am,"I admit.

I give him a hug and then go upstairs to shower. I watch the evidence of Peeta wash down the drain. Wait what?

We were using a condom.

That shouldn't be there.

I really hope those herbs are working. Before, the only form of birth control was an herb which my mom has. It's a purple root that when you eat it or put it into tea, it has a hormone that makes your body think it's pregnant. It's not as effective as real birth control, but it's better than nothing. I started taking some when I found it out in the woods. My mom had some on hand, but if she were to look at the jar she would see that some was taken. I don't think she really ever needs it, but if I were to ask her for some then she would know that I'm having sex with Peeta.

I really need to order some birth control, but I don't want that getting out either. People still look to us as the star crossed lovers, and even though the people in twelve know us, there are people who travel here and there are reporters.

I move my fingers down and insert them into myself. When I pull them out they have hot seamen on them.

Shit!

I start to hyperventalate and shake.

I could be pregnant.

Just the thought makes me throw up in the shower. When I get out of the shower, I put my clothes on and crawl into bed. As I sit there and think I start to cry.

I'm not even 19 yet.

I'm not even married.

I'm broken.

I'm scared.

I can't be a mom.

I never wanted kids.

I hope that I'm not pregnant.

What would I tell Peeta? Or my parents?

I hear a small knock on my door, and then Prim pokes her head in.

"Katniss?" She says.

"Hey,"I say and wipe my tears.

"What's wrong?" She asks as she closes the door behind her. She comes over to my bed and sits next to me. My sweet little sister. She's so caring.

"I'm fine,"I lie.

"Katniss, I know when you're lying," She says,"so what's wrong?"

I sigh and decide to let her in. "Prim, I'm going to tell you about something that no one else knows about, okay?"

"Okay."

"Peeta and I, well, we...we've been having sex."

She looks a little disappointed, but for the most part she hides it.

"Then why are you crying? Did he do something to you?"

"I think it's possible that I might be pregnant. We've been using protection, but I think the condom broke and I've been taking that herb that is like a birth control, but that's not certain. And I'm scared. What if I am pregnant? I can't be a mom!" I cry.

She holds me as I cry.

We hear the sound of the wood creeking before the door opens after a few minutes and my dad pokes his head in.

"I heard crying. What's wrong?" He asks.

"It's just a nightmare, dad,"Prim says,"I got it."

He nods and closes the door.

"Okay, here's what we'll do,"Prim whispers,"tomorrow we'll go to the hob and get a test. If you're pregnant, then you are, and if you're not, then I recommend real birth control."

"You'll help me?"I ask.

"Of course,"she says.

"Thank you, little duck,"I say.

She hugs me and says,"you're welcome."


	18. the pregnancy test

A/N omg have you guys heard about the epilogue movie for the hunger games! I'm freaking out! If you haven't heard of it, it's a movie that will be from after the end to the epilogue. Suzanne Collins has already signed for it and so have Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, and Liam Hemsworth! Yay!

Katniss pov

I'm so nervous as we walk over. The lady who is in charge of these type of things is very old. But she knows my dad. Oh shit! I look at the amount for the test. It's only a dollar and the birth control is five. Prim picks up some herb and I give her six dollars to pay her as I slip it into my pocket with out her noticing.

"It's only ten dollars dear, not sixteen,"she tells Prim.

"Oh you can keep the change,"she says,"I insist."

"Thank you, dear."

This way I don't feel like I'm stealing. Technically I'm paying for it, just without her knowing it. But I can't risk my dad of all people knowing that I might be pregnant. We get home quickly and I lock the door as prim sits on my bed. I walk into the bathroom and read the instructions.

I pee on it and then set it on the counter and wait two minutes. I pace back and forth until Prim says,"it's time."

I take a deep breath and walk to the counter, Prim following me closely. I pick it up and look at the screen.

All I see is a minus sign.

"I'm not pregnant,"I say with relief.

She hugs me and I relax. Thank God.

She takes out the birth control needle and says stand still and I'll do this for you."

I do as she says and let her inject it in my arm.

"Okay, you are all set for half a year. This will take an hour to work, so you can't have sex for an hour or else next time that will be a plus sign."

"Okay, I don't ever want to hear you say that again!"

"What, sex?"

"Yes! It's weird! You're my little duck! I can't hear you talking about my sex life or even talking about sex in general,"I say blushing a bright crimson.

She just laughs.

* * *

Later that night I'm with Peeta as he paints. He paints beautiful pictures of the forest. Then he puts his paintbrush down and turns around to me. "You're so distracting without trying,"he murmurs an leans in to kiss me passionately.

His hand moves down to my boob and messages it the way I like.

I slowly push him away,"Peeta, I'm not in the mood."

He pulls away looking at me,"are you okay Katniss? You've been off this whole time."

I sigh, knowing that I should tell him about it.

"Peeta, I had a pregnancy scare."

He stares at me for a second with a blank expression on his face. Then he stamers,"w-what? H-h-how?" Peeta has been nervous before but he could speak perfectly, like during the interviews. He's stuttering. That's how you know how nervous he really is.

"Last night, I was showering when I um, I notices seamen leaking from me. I didn't think anything at first but then soon after I realized that we were using a condom and that shouldn't have been there. I've been taking a herb that is used as a birth control, but it's not full proof. I was so scared. And we were lucky because of it worked and I wasn't pregnant. So I'm starting real birth control, which is risky because we could get caught if anyone sees me buying it. It lasts for half a year and should have kicked in two hours ago. But I'm still really nervous Peeta."

"Do you still want me to use a condom?" He asks.

"For now, please."

"Whatever makes you comfortable." He says sincerely,"and we don't have to have like uh, um, vaginal sex... We could always use our hands and mouth."

I lean in and kiss him and say,"thank you, Peeta."

That night we spend our time cuddling on his couch. His touch sets me on fire as he runs his hand up and down my arm as we watch a movie. I don't think any of us are really paying that much attention.

He lays behind me, his arms wrapped around me. I bite my lip as his hand trails down my arm to my pants. I spread my legs a little wider for him. His hand unbuttons my pants, pushes them down, and slips into my underwear.

My breathing picks up and I feel him harden into my back. I gasp as he runs one thick finger up and down my slit slowly. I let out a moan when he pushes two inside of me all the way to his knuckles, hitting my g-spot as he curls his fingers.

I start grind against his hand, also rubbing against his hard cock trapped between us. I let out a high pitched moan and he adds a third finger. He moves them faster and I rub more. His thumb works my clit as he rushes to bring me my orgasm.

I come with a load moan, my legs shaking as I soak my underwear with a very intense orgasm. "Peeta!" I relax against his chest, sweating. When I catch my breath, I move down to the floor and face him.

When I see his face, he is smiling a stupid teenage smile. I look down, and to my horror, there is a giant wet spot on his pants. He's still hard, so it's not from him..."Oh my God!" I say horrified.

"That was fucking hot!" He says.

I take his pants off and push his underwear down with them. I take him into my mouth as far as I can. When he gets close he warns me but I don't even listen. I just take him down my throat more.

I drink up all his seamen.

He sighs contently after and holds me. I'm still uncomfortable about the fact that I soaked his pants, but not as embarrassed as I was before.

I come home in a happier mood then when I left.


	19. The Talk

WARNING: some very sexual/abusive themes

Katniss pov

My mom calls me from the kitchen. It is just us in the house today. My dad has gone to help build houses and Prim is at school.

"Yeah?"I ask as I walk into the kitchen.

"Please sit down,"she says in her soft but firm voice. I look at her confused. The last time she used this serious tone was when she told us about the games. I take a seat in the chair that is by the counter.

"Katniss, I want you to understand that I know you are old enough to take care of yourself and make your own decisions about your life, but there us something I want to talk to you about..." She looks a little uncomfortable.

"Okay..."

"Care to explain this?" She asks holding up the negative pregnancy test. I inwardly groan seeing this. I cover my face with my hand and sigh.

"How did you find that?"

"Buttercup knocked over your garbage and was playing with it," She says,"but that's not the point. How long has this been going on?"

"Almost a year... Well, the first time was before the quell, but recently, it's been almost a year."

She sighs. "Have you been using any protection?"

"Yes. We've been using a condom and I've been eating that herb. But the condom broke and I got scared."

"How long ago did this happen?" She asks motioning to the test in her hand.

"Last week. I started taking birth control since."

She puts her hands on her face and sighs disappointingly. "Is this all you two do?"

"No! We do lots of other things together! But it does happen a lot..."

"Katniss, this is unacceptable. What if you were pregnant? Do you really think that you and Peeta could really have a child now? You scream every night, and he can barely control himself. You guys will always have to deal with your past, whether it's nightmares or flashbacks. You guys are not in a good situation right now and the last thing you should be doing is having sex!"

"I know mom, but it happened! And it's going to happen again. I'm sorry, but I love him mom!" My feelings are rising. Anger, embarrassment, and a new feeling. This is a strong feeling of caring and love. I really want to run away and cry. I feel so frustrated.

"You're too young, Katniss!" She says firmly. "You can't make these decisions!"

But my anger overrides everything else. I stand up quickly and storm away.

"Katniss Everdeen!" My mom yells from the kitchen. I'm so angry that she thinks she knows what's good or what's not good for me. She doesn't understand what I've been through. She can't understand. The only people who can are Peeta, Haymitch, Johanna, and Annie.

I run over to Peeta's house. I don't even realize that I was running there until I end up at his doorstep. I don't bother knocking. I just burst in. I can hear him calling my name from the kitchen confused as I run into it and throw myself at him.

"What's wrong?" He asks into my hair.

"I just need you,"I say and start to suck on his neck. I can feel him tense slightly. He knows I'm upset, but he doesn't question me further. I move my lips to his and kiss him with all my emotions. His arms around me tighten and he moves his hands down to my butt as he lifts me up, my legs wrapping around him.

He takes me to the extra room downstairs. I strip his clothes quickly, practically ripping them off his hard body. He takes mine off too. He goes to admire me, but I don't want to be admired. I want him to take the pain away. I want him to take me hard, rough, and fast.

I grip the headboard, my back facing him. I look over my shoulder and say,"I want you to spank me, Peeta."

"What?"he asks confused.

"I want you to spank me."

"Why?"

"Please, Peeta. I want you to take me fast and rough."

"Are you sure, Katniss?" He looks very timid and unsure.

"I'm sure."

He crawls onto the bed and lines up behind me. His hand swats my ass with a hard flick. It is going to leave a mark, but I love it. I want it. I deserve it. "Again."

"Kat-"

"Again. Please, Peeta."

His hand hits me again. It stings, but it's what I want. I want to feel this pain and pleasure to replace the other pain.

"One more time. Tell me how bad I am. How much of a whore I am for you."

He slaps me hard one last time and says,"you are very bad. And you are such a fucking whore. You love my cock deep inside you." I look over my shoulder to see that his eyes are darker. Almost black. My Peeta is leaving me, but I want this. I want to be punished by dark Peeta. I need this.

"Fucking Mutt,"he says,"you like this don't you?"

"Yes," I moan.

His fingers grip my thighs, probably leaving marks.

I ride him fast and hard until I come and he comes deep inside me. We collapse together and I see his eyes slowly return to blue as he starts to go to sleep. It is only them that my mind is clear enough to think.

I'm an awful person. I just used Peeta to numb the pain and anger. I caused him to go into a flashback and made him still have sex with me. It was selfish. It was wrong. I'm awful. I'm terrible. Maybe I can't make decisions for myself.

I'm so terrible...


	20. Every high has its fall

Warning: this is a graphic chapter

Peeta pov

I wake up with a sick feeling in my stomach. I had a flashback last night, I know it. I can't stop staring at her naked form next to mine in disgust. Not because she's gross in any way, shape, or form, but because I know what I did to her. It's disgust in myself. She sleeps peacefully, the light shinning in her perfect hair.

I move my hands to my hair and pull. I can't believe I did that! I forced her into sex while I was having a flashback! I know it and I'm awful! I stand up and go to the bathroom. I stare at myself in the mirror. My eyes are red rimmed and my face us pale. I have scratches all over my body. Whether they're from me or her, I don't know.

From the mirror I can see the red marks on her tight little ass. Marks from my own hands. I recall slapping her a few times and calling her some horrendous things. Vile things that are not true. It could be my imagination, but it sounded like she wanted it. Like she liked it.

I remember taking pleasure in her pain.

My mind flashes back to when I was in the capitol.

_I remember waking up in a cold room, my hands and feet tied to the bed posts. I'm naked, and painfully hard._

_Then the doors opened up and she came in._

_Her body looked like hers. Her hair was dark like hers. But her eyes were not as grey as hers. Her face was blurry. Part of my mind was telling me it wasn't her, but I wanted it to be her._

_My inhibitions were thrown away._

_She is wearing a black corset and thong, and a matching mask. She strolls to the bed and climbs on top of me. She unties her thong and sinks down onto me. She calls my name in a sigh as she rides me. Then I hear her call herself a mutt._

_I groan and thrust up into her, she claws my chest and bites my neck. She reaches up and unties my wrists and ankles. I sit up and lay her back, still thrusting into her. "Mutt,"she whispers._

_Then she reaches into her corset and pulls out a needle that she injects into my leg. My vision goes blurry and my hard cock gets impossibly harder. It starts becoming painful. I'm trying to reach my release, but it won't let me. It just becomes even more painful._

_I start to become angry because I can't get there. She puts another needle into my other leg and I see red._

_She takes off her mask and I see her face. Fear strikes my body when I look at her face. Katniss Everdeen. My hands go around her neck and I choke her until the light leaves her eyes._

_My hands release her neck and I take a look at her face for the first time. Her eyes are more blue then grey, her face is long then hers, her noes a little wider. Her hair is obviously dyed._

_I fall back on the bed and cover my face with my hands. Then I hear,"she's a mutt, Peeta."_

My fingers clench the edge of the counter. I hear Katniss roll over in the bed and then sit up. I close my eyes and clench my teeth.

"Peeta?" She says softly.

"Stay away from me,"I say. I open my eyes and meet hers on the mirror. She has a look of sadness but understanding.

"It's okay if you hate me,"she says looking down,"I understand."

"I'm sorry,"I sigh,"I don't hate you. I hate me. I'm the mutt here."

Confusion crosses her face.

"Peeta, you are not the mutt."

"Katniss, I made you have sex with me while I was in a flashback! I am the mutt here!"

Her eyes close and her hands go to her hair.

"That's not true, Peeta."

I don't look at her.

"That's not true, Peeta. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,"she cries.

I slowly walk over to her and sit down next to her.

"What happened?"I ask her.

"I'm sorry, Peeta. I needed to feel, so I came here and I I-I made you have rough sex with me. And it threw you into a flashback. And I didn't stop, I edged you on..."her voice drifts off.

Anger flashes through me. How could she do that? She fucking used me! How could she put herself in so much danger! My fists clench and I know I have to get out. Or get her out. I don't want to hurt her.

I pick up her clothes and throw them to her. "Get dressed and get out."

"Peeta-"

"GET THE FUCK OUT!"

With that I walk out of the room.

From my art studio, I watch her walk out of my house dressed. I sit down on the floor and rock back and forth with my hands pulling at my hair. I allow myself to cry. I end up falling asleep and don't wake up until I hear Haymitch say,"wake up, boy."

I look up and find him standing in the doorway.

"Put some clothes on and meet me downstairs."

I look down to see that I am still naked.

"Okay." I say and stand up. I walk to my room and put on my sleep pants. When I get downstairs, I find him sitting on the couch with a bottle in his hand.

"Sit." He says.

I do as he says and he asks,"what the hell happened? I go to feed my geese and I find sweetheart crying on her porch. She wouldn't talk to me so I came to you."

"It's a long story, Haymitch."

"Well, I have a lot of time."

I sigh and say,"fine. I had a flashback during sex."

"That explains the nudity." He mumbles. "So that's why she's crying? Did you hurt her?"

"No, it's actually what she did to me..."

"What'd she do now?"

"I'm not sure why, but she wanted to have rough meaningless sex and it threw me into a flashback. And she continued even while I was in a flashback. She put herself in danger, I could have hurt her worse then I did. And most of all, she used me. I never saw it as just sex. It always meant something to me. We made love, but that was definitely not love..."

"Boy, you and I both know that she loves you. And sweetheart, well she does a lot of stupid things, but they are done because of something. Doesn't make it right, but it does make sense. I can assure you something had to have happened before that."

I sigh and lay back with my hands over my face.

"So this morning, I woke up thinking that I just had a flashback during sex, and then she told me that it was her fault and I just got mad. So I told her to leave."

"Maybe you two just need some time to cool down and think about everything."He says.

I look up at him and say,"maybe you're right."


	21. The Break Up

Katniss pov

I watch as Haymitch exits Peeta's house. He slowly walks over to me and says,"boy wants to talk to ya."

I slowly nod but don't get up. I see Peeta step out of his house and his eyes meet mine. Haymitch stands up and leaves. I watch as Peeta walks over to me, his eyes never waver from mine. I can feel my heart race with each step he takes.

He sits next to me and fumbles with his hands. Knowing Peeta, he's probably coming to say that he's sorry for yelling at me. At first he says nothing. Then he sighs and says,"Katniss,"my name rolls of his tongue like a sad thought,"I think we need a break."

A break?

As in no more us?

This is not what I expected. I feel like running and crying but I somehow manage to hold myself together. "I know what I did was wrong, but Peeta, we need each other..."

"I'm not saying we'll never get back together, you know that I love you, but I just have to think about things and it's best if I do it on my own. I'm sorry, Katniss. We just need some space and time apart."

My heart breaks.

I stand up and run. I run as fast as I can to the forest, away from Peeta. He doesn't come after me this time. When I reach the lake I cry and crumble. I've never felt such pain. It's not like the burns from my first games, or even the poisonous fog. This is like no other pain I've ever felt.

He says he loves me, but if he did would I be feeling this pain? That's when I think of all the pain I inflicted on him. Maybe I deserve this. His words echo in my brain.

_I think we need a break._

The world around me turns cold as night comes but I don't move. I can't move. I faintly hear footsteps coming to me and I pray that it's him. But it's not. It's my dad. He asks me what I'm doing out here now, but I don't answer. I just cry.

Years of hauling coal have made him strong, even with his age. He scoops me into his arms and carries me home. They ask me what's wrong but all I can say is,"I deserve this."

"Deserve what Katniss?" My mom asks.

"Deserved to not be loved."

"What happened?"My dad asks.

"We broke up."

My mom's eyes soften as she sits down next to me,"break ups are hard, but everyone goes through them. Believe me when I say that every relationship at least goes through one break up. Your dad and I did, it's just a part of life. It sucks, I know. And it hurts, but you get past it. It may seem like he doesn't love you, but he does Katniss. This is not the end, okay?"

I nod.

"Boys can be stupid too. I know you see Peeta as this perfect guy, but the truth is, he's human. And humans make mistakes. And you both are still young. Do you think your dad was this smart and mature from the start? Believe me, he wasn't." She says smiling at my dad.

Then she pulls me in for a hug and says,"I'm sorry sweetie, it hurts to have your heart broken."

Prim comes downstairs and asks,"what's wrong, Katniss?"

"Peeta and I broke up,"I say silently.

"Oh...I'm sorry, Katniss,"she says and comes over to hug me. Her hug makes me smile a little. My little duck always finds a way to make me feel better. "I have an idea,"she says,"why don't we have a girl's night?"

"I don't know, Prim, I'm-"

"Oh, c'mon we can have smores and hot chocolate. And we can watch a movie or something."

The excitement on her face makes me have to say yes.

"Okay."

"Yay!" She says,"let's go get the things to make smores!"

"Prim, maybe you should let your sister be for a while,"my dad says.

"It's okay, dad,"I say and then turn to Prim,"let's go."

The smile on her face lights up the room. I get up and grab the coin pouch from my room and put it in the pocket of my jacket. My dad made me that for my tenth birthday. It's a little worn but I still use it. Especially since I have money to actually put it to use.

Prim puts on her jacket and follows me to the door. We walk through town and its quite chilly today. Fall is coming which causes some mixed feelings. The beautiful oranges that Peeta loves comes out in the trees which is bittersweet and at the same time that feeling of fear, though I don't have to worry anymore, hits me. Fall use to mean that winter would soon cone, which meant freezing nights and less food. This was the time when my dad and I would hunt as much as we could to stock up on food.

Now we don't have to worry about food or the condition of our house, but the feeling is still present.

The walk through town reminds me of when we would walk from the seam to school. Prim would always ask to see the cakes on display at the bakery. I wonder if he was watching me when we would stop at the window. They were his beautiful creations that caught our eyes after all.

When we get to the store, we look for marshmallows, Graham crackers, and chocolate. I'm walking down an aisle when I see his golden head of hair . I inwardly groan because he's right next to the marshmallows.

I walk back around the corner and ask Prim to get them while I get the chocolate. She happily nods and walks down the aisle. I go around the corner and grab the chocolate which happens to be around the area that they are in. I peek over the top of the aisle and watch as Peeta smiles at Prim.

Polite as ever he asks how she's doing and of course hugs her. It's hard not to love Prim. She replies back to him and then they say their goodbyes and move on. She comes around the corner with the marshmallows and the Graham crackers.

At the checkout, a clip catches my eye. The beautiful yellow flower that matches her name. Evening Primrose. I add it our pile along with some sour gummy worms that I know Prim loves.

After we pay, I pull out the clip and put it in her hair.

"It's beautiful Katniss!" She says and hugs me. I hug her back and from over her head I meet eyes with Peeta, who was watching us from across the store. He looks sad. But he doesn't look away.

I slowly turn my head away from him and walk out of the store with Prim happily by my side, a bag in her hands and we walk home.

A/N let's just take a moment to honor the never ending love and compassion of a little sister, always there to brighten your day, and help get you out of awkward situations. Also thanks to everyone who is reviewing and giving me your support and love, you all are amazing! :)


	22. Morning Hunt

Katniss pov

I wake up on the couch next to Prim. Her head is in my lap and we both have blankets that I don't remember having last night. I run my hand through her hair and yawn. I look out the window and watch as the sun slowly raises into the sky. I hear footsteps coming down the stairs and I look to see my dad. I watch as he walks to the closet and pulls out his bow.

He looks over at Prim and I and smiles. Then he walks over to stand in front of us. He sits on the ottoman under my feet. "Morning, Katniss,"he says warmly. It reminds me of when we were younger and he'd come to wake me up and ask me to go hunting with him.

"Do you want to go hunting with me?"he asks.

"Sure,"I whisper,"just let me go change."

I slowly move out of Prim's grip and run up to change. I pull on my hunting boots and jacket and then get the bow that Beetee made me. We follow my dad outside and wait as he locks the door. A precautionary he took up when he was attacked.

As he's locking the door, I glance down the road and see Peeta stepping out of his house with bread in his arms. I don't know if it's just baker's hours or the nightmares that wake him up this early. He looks over and stops when he sees me. We stand there staring at each other until he timidly lifts a hand and gives a slight wave. His face looks solemn.

I don't move a muscle, I just look at him sadly. I feel a hand on my shoulder and it brings me out of my trance. I look at my dad and realize that he was saying something to me.

"-Katniss. Come on."

I turn around and walk with my dad, but as we walk I glance back over my shoulder to see him still standing there. He looks like a kicked puppy even though he was the one to break up with me. But my heart is broken even though I hide it, and I think he knows it because no one knows me better than him.

"Are you okay, Katniss?" My dad asks.

"Yeah."I say quietly.

"Katniss?"he says in his inquisitive voice.

"I'm fine dad,"I say firmly. He decides to let the subject drop. When we get to the woods, we start to search for tracks. I remember when I was little and my dad would teach me how to track an animal.

_"Remember, the key to finding an animal is the tracks, so be careful where you walk, and be quiet so you don't scare it off."_

_"I know, dad,"I say being the stubborn person I am._

_I bend down looking at the tracks. They have two long slanted marks. Deer tracks. I follow the trail, careful not to step on them. I listen carefully for any noise of the graceful I come to a clearing, I see it feasting on some plants in a meadow. It lifts it's head and I freeze. It sniffs the air and that's when my dad lifts some leaves and let's them fly into the wind. _

_The deer lowers it's head and returns to eating. I raise my bow and pull the string back. The deer looks up again and that's when I focus on my target. I let the arrow fly straight into my target._

_"That was a great shot, Katniss. Right in the eye!" My dad says excitedly. _

_I just shot my first deer._

_"Your mom is going to be very happy when she sees this,"he says._

_"What about the peacekeepers?"I ask._

_"You don't have to worry about them, Cray is too busy with other things to care, and Darius buys meat from me all the time. It's only on the reaping days that you should be careful of what you bring back. They actually do their jobs that day. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't be cautious when coming out here."_

_I nod and watch as he starts to skin the deer._

I was 8 when I shot my first deer. But I remember it like it was yesterday. I smile at the memory of my first deer. My dad was so proud and I remember my mom making me and Prim vests made from the fur. We ate good for a while with that.

We cone across the lake, so we take a seat at the rock. This place holds many memories, new and old. Memories of my dad teaching me how to swim. And memories of Peeta.

_"I can feel myself falling more and more for you. Every day."_

_"I've already fallen."I say._

_"I fell once, and I'll fall again." _His words echo in my head.

The chatter of a squirrel catches my attention. I raise my bow and aim at the critter. Then I release and watch as I get it right in the eye. I pick up the squirrel and my dad says,"I use to trade those with Mr. Mellark. It's too bad that he didn't survive, he really was a great person, his wife on the other hand, not so much."

"She beat her kids,"I say anger rising just thinking about the pain and scars she caused Peeta.

"Yes...quite a few times Ferrell had to take them to your mom. Especially Peeta. But it was always at night when she was asleep because she didn't like the seam and wanted no son of hers to have an association with them."

"Well that definitely didn't happen,"I say thinking of how Peeta and I were together.

"She probably shit when he announced his love on national television."

"Yeah..."

After hours of hunting,we return home and I take some meat over to Haymitch. As I walk up the porch steps I hear through the open window,"I see here everywhere, I don't even know if it's her I'm really seeing or if it's just my mind. Buts she's everywhere! I love her and I always will, but she probably hates me now... it hasn't even been a week and I'm so lost."

My heart leaps at his words. I drop the bags of meat and then I run. Running is the only thing I know how to do. So I run away from the house, straight to my closet so I can wrap my head around this.


	23. Forced Talks

Katniss pov

A month passes and I stay away from Haymitch's house. In the mornings I go hunting, then I stay with my parents until Prim comes home. And when she gets home, I help her with her homework and we just hang out. That is if she's not with Rory.

Haymitch must have fixed his phone because one morning he calls me asking for some meat. I grab some meat from a goose I shot this morning, and a couple of squirrels, then I bag them and walk over to Haymitch's house.

I open the door and walk to the kitchen. Fresh bottles of liquor are scattered on the table. He was doing so well...

I put the meat into the freezer and then turn to Haymitch who is just staggering into the room. "There's a goose and some squirrel in the freezer,"I say motioning to the freezer.

"Thanks,"he says,"I need you to do something else for me."

"Can't your baker do it? I know he comes here every morning."

"Nope." He leads me upstairs to a room. It one of the extra ones. I hear shuffling inside the closet and he points to the closet. I walk over to the door and place my hand on the knob, and that's when I hear the door to the room shut behind me. I turn around to see that Haymitch has shut and locked the door. I run to it and bang on it.

"HAYMITCH! YOU BETTER HAVE A DAMN GOOD REASON FOR THIS!"

"Katniss?"

I turn around to see Peeta coming out from the closet. I inwardly groan.

"What happened?"he asks.

"Haymitch locked us in here..."

"Damn, I fell for it. He asked me to look for a left handed screwdriver."

I look at him for a second before I say,"Peeta, there is no such thing as a left-handed screwdriver."

"Oh..."

I turn back to the door and start banging on it again. "HAYMITCH, MOTHERFUCKER!"

I here him on the other side of the door as he walks up to it.

"Listen, sweetheart,"he starts,"you two have been ignoring your feelings and I'm sick of you two tip-toeing around each other. So just talk already! I'm not letting you out of there until you do!"

I kick the door and then walk over to the window. I try to open it, but it's a fake frosted window. Peeta sits down on the bed and runs his fingers through his hair. I start to pace, trying to think of a way out.

"I swear I will kill that son of a bitch when I get out of here-"

"There's only one way we are getting out of here,"he sighs.

"Peeta..."I sigh.

"Katniss, we really need to talk."

I lean against the wall and cross my arms.

"How have you been?"he asks quietly.

"How have I been? HOW HAVE I BEEN?!"I ask louder than before. "Peeta, do you know how hard this has been? How terrible I feel everyday? You broke my heart!"

He stands up and places his hand on the wall. It's closed in a fist. His forehead is against the wall and his eyes are closed as he says,"Do you think this hasn't been hell on me?! You hurt me! What you did to me hurt me. You made me go into a flashback during sex and you didn't even care!"

I walk over to the mini fridge and open it up. Of course, all that's in there is alcohol. I grab a bottle and don't even bother to look at what it is before I take a swig of it. It's strong and it makes me cough.

I start to drink more and more of it until the bottle is empty. I don't know what it is, but by the time I'm done with it, I'm not thinking straight. We argue and argue and eventually he grabs something from the fridge too.

At one point we are screaming at each other. The room becomes hot so I take off my shirt so I am just in my undershirt. I lay on the bed as Peeta lays against the wall. His shirt is thrown away from him as well.

My mind is completely fuzzy and I feel like bubbles.

I roll over onto my stomach and say,"hey Peeta, wanna know a secret?"

"Yes,"he says.

"I still love you!" I whisper and then giggle.

He starts laughing with me and says,"I never stopped!"

I start to giggle and say,"I know! I have another secret."

"I heard you talking to Haymitch last month." I say as I'm laughing.

He raises his glass and tries to stand up but ends up falling onto the bed next to me. His hand moves the hair from my face and he smiles. "You look like an angel."

"You are an angel,"I say.

"If I was an angel, would I do this?"he asks and leans in for a sloppy alcohol kiss. My hands wander to his back as I deepen this intoxicating kiss. I roll onto him as I taste the alcohol on his tongue.

My inhibitions are gone with the wind.

He starts to ramble about how beautiful I am as I run my hands through his tangled hair. He drops his bottle and rolls me over so he is on top. "I miss you so fucking much."

* * *

Haymitch Pov

I walk away from the door and hear what sounds like a foot kicking the door. Knowing they'll eventually talk I walk downstairs. Right as I'm stepping into the kitchen, the doorbell rings.

I walk over to the door and to my surprise, John Everdeen stands on my porch. "Good morning, Haymitch,"he says,"have you seen Katniss?"

"Yes, uh, come in,"I say.

He follows me into my house and I say,"her and the boy are talking things over."

That's when we hear the sound of Katniss' voice as she yells at Peeta.

"You call that talking?"he asks with a brow raised.

"Well, I guess it's more of her yelling at him, she's not very happy right now."

"Where are they?"

"In a room upstairs."

We walk into the kitchen and I say,"would you like something to drink?" He glances around at the scattered bottles and says,"no thank you."

"Haymitch,"he says concerned,"he's not gonna go into a flashback, is he?"

"No, he's been doing really good, and he's been taking his medicine. Katniss use to make sure he did and when they broke up he wouldn't and would have terrible flashbacks, so I started making sure he took them and he hasn't had one since. Poor boy, he was the best out of all of us and came out with the worst punishment. I mean, the poor boy was like a dog, he was helpless, innocent, and loveable. Now look at him. He's not a lovesick puppy anymore."

As it goes quite I realize that Peeta is the one yelling and we can hear what he is talking about. "You made me go into a flashback during sex-"

Knowing that this conversation is not one that John would be very happy about, I start up a conversation.

"So how is Katniss? I haven't really seen her lately. She's been avoiding my house."

"I'm worried about her, she hasn't been the same since the games. She rarely goes hunting, and when she does, she screams at the first kill. And she spends a lot of time locked up in her room."

"The games hurt her, and the war destroyed her. It destroyed all of us. And to go from one game to another, to a war is a hard thing, I mean I at least had some time between it, she had less than a year. That's hard on your mind."

"She seemed like she was getting better and then, they broke up and she got worse."

"It might not seem like the best thing, but he is good for her. He went through the same thing she did, and he understands her in ways that we never could. Peeta is what she needs."

There's a knock on my door, so I get up, followed by John. I open the door to find Primrose Everdeen.

"Hi, Haymitch, have you seen my dad?"

"Prim, what's wrong?" John asks from behind me.

"I can't find Katniss,"she says sadly.

"She's here,"I say.

"Oh, can I see her?"

"She's talking to Peeta, Prim,"her father says,"and we should be going."

"I'll send her your way when they are done talking." I say.

"Okay, thank you, Haymitch."He says nodding,"and thank you for the hospitality."

An hour passes and I decide to go check on them. I don't hear any yelling anymore, so maybe that's a good sign. The smell hits me before I open the door. The smell of alcohol I know anywhere, and then something I haven't smelled in a while...sex?

I open the door, moving bottles as I do, and to my horror I see Peeta slamming into Katniss. The room smells of alcohol and there are bottles everywhere.

"What the fuck?!"I say which causes Peeta to still.

"Heeeey Hayyymitch, hey for Haymitch. Hay is for horses." Katniss slurs.

Peeta collapses on top of her and she tries to roll him off but she can't. I help her roll him off and then throw her her clothes. "You need to go take a cold shower, and get dressed, c'mon Katniss." I help her up and get her to the bathroom.

As soon as she is in the bathroom, she pukes into the toilet. She groans and then continues to puke. After she lays against the tub and groans. I go back to the room and shake Peeta.

"Get up, boy,"I say. He doesn't move, so I pick up a half empty bottle and dump it on him. So this is what it's like to be on the other side of that. He looks at me angrily and I say,"get up, we have a problem."


	24. Even more forced talks

Haymitch pov

I stand in front of the table, leaning up against the counter. Katniss and Peeta sit at the table in front of me. Neither can look at each other or at me. They are definitely sober now.

"What the hell?!"I start,"I leave you two alone for a couple of hours, and this is what happens? You drink all my alcohol, get drunk, and fuck each other in my house! I thought you two could be adults and talk things out, but no, you can't! You are lucky that I went up there alone, because do you know who was here? Your dad."

Peeta looks up at me and is paler than ever. Katniss doesn't look away from a spot on the table, almost as if it's the most interesting thing in the world.

"I don't think you would be able to leave this house with balls if he caught you,"I say to Peeta. "And did you even use protection? The last thing two fucked up people need right now is a baby."

"I'm on birth control." Katniss says.

"I wanted to give you two privacy, but obviously that can't happen. I don't know how much conversation you guys got in, but you two are going to talk now."

Peeta runs his hands through his hair and releases the breath he was holding in. "Do you regret it?" He asks after a while of silence.

"The sex or getting drunk, because I definitely regret the alcohol." Katniss says.

"The sex."

Katniss looks up to meet his eyes and stares at him for a while. "No. I don't regret it,"she says,"I do regret what I did before."

"I regret breaking up with you. I should have talked to you, but I was mad. I didn't know how to handle it, I couldn't handle it. What you did, hurt me so badly though. I didn't know what to do, but what I did was wrong. I should have handled it differently."

"You have every right to be mad. I fucked up really bad. I was mad at my mom and I wasn't thinking straight. I just wanted to feel and be treated the way I should be, and I can only get that when you're in a flashback. It was extremely selfish and stupid..."

"Katniss," Peeta says softly,"we both fucked up."

"I miss you. This past month has been hell."

"I can't tell you how many flashbacks I've had this month... You keep me sane, Katniss. You may not need me, but I need you."

"I do, I need you."

"You said that in the quarter quell, real or not real?"

"Real, Peeta."

He reaches over and takes her hand in his. She doesn't pull away or run, but actually accepts him. He leans his forehead against hers and starts to lean in.

"I hate to break up the love fest here, but you two smell like alcohol, puke, and sex so I'd appreciate it if you two left and took showers. I have a mess to clean up."

"Um, do you want me to help you with the room?" Peeta asks.

"Yeah, I don't want to go near that bed."I say then I turn to Katniss and say,"I suggest you take a shower before you go home. I don't think your parents will be too happy about the sex and alcohol."

Katniss pov

Haymitch let's me use his bathroom while him and Peeta clean up the room. I step into the glass encased shower and turn on the water. I reach just outside the shower to grab the washcloth. I press the button that dispenses the body wash. It smells like coconut and vanilla.

I scrub my body of all the evidence of Peeta and alcohol. As the warm water runs over my body, I try to focus on what just happened. Where do Peeta and I stand? Are we together?

I step out of the shower and warp my body in a towel. I stand in front of the mirror and let the towel drop. I look at my scars and start to wonder how Peeta can find this beautiful.

When I walk out after getting dressed, Peeta and Haymitch are done with the room. "I should go home." I say.

"Have fun with your hangover,"Haymitch says.

I just nod and head for the door. I hear footsteps behind me and Peeta says,"wait!"

I turn around and look at him as he runs to catch up with me. His hair bounces as he runs. "I'll walk you home."

I want to tell him that I don't need anyone to walk me home, but when I look in his eyes I lose my irritation. He gives me a shy smile, so I say,"okay."

It's quiet at first. We don't really know what to say to each other. I still can't really look at him that much either. I'm still embarrassed about the fact that we jumped on each other while we were drunk. But what I think I'm more embarrassed about, is the fact that I liked it.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks, his face a little worried.

"I think you can guess what I'm thinking about..." I say blushing.

I glance over to see his face, neck, and ears turn red.

"I guess we're thinking about the same thing."

"Are we?"

He turns scarlett which I'm sure matches my face.

"I don't think I'll ever stop thinking about it." He says quietly.

When we reach my front porch I turn to him and say,"neither will I."

He gives me a small smile before I open the door and go inside.

I walk to the kitchen to get a cup of water when I hear my dad say,"so how was the talk?"

"It was fine."I simply say.

"Why is your hair wet?"He asks confused.

"I got alcohol spilt on me and had to take a shower."

He nods.

"So, are you guys friends or um-"

"Dad, are you trying to talk to me about boys?"

He lets out a small chuckle and says,"guess that's never a comfortable topic with me, huh?"

"No."

We both uncomfortably laugh. After a moment he says,"are you okay, Katniss? I worry about you."

"I'm okay, dad."I say, and for once, I think I might be.


	25. Let's get down to business

Katniss pov

As I walk home from the forest, I hear his loud footsteps from around the corner. I turn the corner to see him walking downtown. I fallow behind, him not hearing me yet. I can't help but look at how cute his butt is. I can feel a blush on my face as I smile. Then I silently run up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist.

He jumps and nearly falls over as he trips over his own feet, but I'm holding him so he doesn't. I rest my head on his back and say,"hey."

"Hey, beautiful."He says.

I blush and let go so I can walk with him.

"What are you doing?"I ask.

"I'm going to the justice building. I've decided to rebuild the bakery." He says.

Wow! When did he make this decision? Is it something he's been working on for a while? Was he going to tell me about it?" All these questions run through my head.

"Wow...That's a big step. When did you decide this?"

He looks down at the ground as we walk and for a moment he's hesitant. "I, um, I started to sketch out some ideas when we were broken up. I needed something to keep me busy... to get you off my mind. It didn't work though. I would forget for an hour or so, but then everything I did reminded me of you. You're like a disease, I can't get rid of you even if I wanted to... wait, that sounds bad- you're like a fire, you consume my thoughts."

I smile at him and say,"I'm not good with words. I don't know how to express my feelings the way you do... I don't know how to make you weak at the knees like you do to me."

He starts to laugh and shake his head,"you really don't know the effect you have. You don't have to say anything to make me weak at the knees. All you have to do is just barely look at me and I'm gone."

I look down to hide my blush which causes him to groan,"see! You don't even have to try."

I shake my head and change the subject.

"Can I see your plans for the bakery?"

"Of course." He says and hands them to me.

His sketch is captivating. The beautiful strokes that create the picture. It's as if I'm standing in the room, only it's made up of lines. The design of the kitchen is stunning. "It's beautiful,"I say.

"You think so?"

"Yes, it's absolutely beautiful!"

"Do you want to come with me to the justice building?" He asks hopefully.

"Okay,"I say and he smiles.

As we walk side by side he asks,"can I hold your hand?"

"Of course,"I say as I take his hand in mine. It's comforting to have his hand in mine. When we get into the justice building, a man comes up to Peeta and shakes his hand. As soon as I see his face, I realize it's Thom.

"Hello Peeta,"he says while they shake hands. Then he turns to me and looks surprised.

"Katniss Everdeen! It's been a while!"he says happily.

"Yeah, how are you Thom?"

"I'm good, I've been rebuilding the district so I'm keeping busy. What about you? How's Gale, have you heard from him?"

"I'm good, and I haven't heard from him. He got a job in two as some official." I say. Peeta's grip tightens at the mention of Gale. "Well, that's good. Shall we go to my office and discuss the bakery?"

"Yes,"Peeta says and follows him. We sit at a desk and I sit quietly as they discuss business that I can't follow.

Thom hands him a paper and says,"since you are the only Mellark alive, that lot owned by your parents, more specifically your dad, belongs to you."

After Peeta excitedly hugs me. "Can you believe it?! I own the bakery!"

"That's so great,"I say and without thinking, I kiss him. I expect him to stiffen or to be shocked, but he isn't. He's the opposite. He leans in and kisses me harder. His tongue thrusting into my mouth as he holds me closer to him.

With our eyes still closed, we pull apart. Our breath is shallow and shaky. His hand is on my cheek, the other on my lower back. He rests his forehead on mine and we both forget for a moment that we are in front of the justice building, where everyone passes everyday on a regular basis.

His hand moves from my back to my hand to hold it. He leans in and whispers,"let's go somewhere more private."

"I know a place."

We get to the meadow, the birds are singing a tune that I recognize as my dad's good hunting song. He sings it when he's had a good hunting trip and is heading home. He is probably just leaving.

We find a nice spot among the flowers that grow. He looks at me with his blue orbs and says,"where do we stand, Katniss? I'm so confused by everything, like we've gone through this backwards."

"You're right, we have gone at it all wrong,"I sigh.

"I didn't say wrong- but we have gone at it backwards. One minute we're yelling, then next we're having sex, then we're not talking, then we're giving, and now we're kissing?"

"I'm not good at talking, but I know one thing I want to say."

He looks at me expectantly.

"I want to be with you, Peeta. We've already decided that we can't live without each other. What's holding us back from being together?"

"I guess I was still too confused to ask you, but I know how you feel, and I know how I feel." He says. "Katniss, will you be my girlfriend again?"

"Yes,"I say and lean in to kiss him.

This kiss is just as passionate as the one at the justice building, if anything more relaxed and comfortable because we aren't standing in the middle of a busy street.

He rests his forehead against mine and then brushes my lips again. Later, I lay on his lap as he plays with my hair. Flowers are woven into my hair like a masterpiece, a beautiful creation.

The sun shines on my face as I look up at the sky. It's a beautiful day. Not too sunny, there are a few clouds, but it's not gloomy. I find myself hating those days more and more as time goes on.

"I wish I could freeze this moment and live in it forever..."He says.

I shake my head and say,"I don't, because I want to get to our future."

He smiles and says,"and you say you aren't good with words."

"I'm not."

"Then why am I speechless?"

"Because of this,"I say as I lean up to kiss him.

He smirks and says,"that's one reason. I think it's your beauty, inside and out."

I blush at his words and he says,"so beautiful."

A/N some everlark fluff for ya! Happy Halloween everyone! :)


	26. Special Plans

A/N so I got a guest review and they put down the name Everlarklover, so this is for you! :) I just want you to know how I happy I am to know that you have read every single one of my stories and that you are like my biggest fan. I never thought I would actually write stories worth reading, so it makes me so incredibly happy when some one says that they love me and my stories. I love all my followers, it's fans like you that make me continue to come up with more stories and continue to write. As long as the thoughts keep flowing, I will keep writing. :) Please give me any thoughts you have on this story, I am very open to ideas and thoughts (that goes to anyone) and please review I just love to hear from you guys. I really hope you have a great week, as I wish to anyone who is reading this, and Everlark on! :)

Katniss pov

The next few weeks are quite busy for Peeta. He spends so many hours working on the bakery and when he's done for the day, he goes home and passes out. So we haven't spent much time together.

Finally I get fed up with this distance, and decide to do something about it. One day while he's working on the bakery, I go to Haymitch and ask him for a key to Peeta's house. I know he has one.

I knock on his door until he finally opens it.

"What the hell do you want?" He asks.

"I need to get into Peeta's house."

"Now, why the hell would I help you do that?"he asks confused.

"Because I'm trying to do something special for him. And to do that, I need to get into his house. I know you have a key, now hand it over."

"Fine, but you better have good reason."He says.

"Believe me, I do." I say.

He walks over to the closet and opens a case. He pulls out a silver key with the letter 'P' on it.

"Here." He says as he drops the key into my open hand.

"Thank you,"I say as I take the key.

Today my dad is helping Rory rebuild the chimney that fell down at the Hawthorne house and my mom is working. I'm completely alone today. I write a note to them saying I'm having dinner with Peeta. When I get back to his house, I attempt to bake from one of Peeta's recipes that are in his house. His supplies are so complicated. I'm not sure what pan to use?

When I'm finished baking, or at least I think I'm done, I move onto the sexual part of my plan. Cinna left me a box of different clothes. There was one that I hid from my family. I was very embarrassed by it at first, but now it's proving to be useful.

I dig the box from the attic. I lift up the first thing my hand touches. It's a see through top that has no cover what so ever. Too revealing. I put it back and pick up the next one. It is a baby doll top that has padding in th breast area and a see through lace that reaches down my stomach. The bottoms are a lace thong with a tiny bow. They are all a black color and are matched with stilettos.

This will do.

I pick up a black satin robe and a bag to put everything in. When I get back to Peeta's house, I slip on the lingerie and robe. I go to the oven to check on the bread that I was making. It's rising which I hope is a good sign.

It smells good, which is a good sign.

When it nears five, I start to cook a lamb I shot a few days ago. Lamb stew, one if the few things I know how to cook. And then I put a lid on it to keep it warm because I know we won't be eating first.

When the timer goes off for the bread, I turn the oven off and let it stay in there. I go to the living room and light candles. Then put on the stilettos. I don't feel very sexy, but hopefully I look it. I lay posed on the couch for a while until finally, right as I'm starting to think that he'll never come home, I hear the sound of the front door being unlocked.

Peeta opens the door and notices the dim light coming from where I lay. "Hello?" He asks as he steps in. I watch as he walks into the living room and freezes. He drops his bag and says,"K-K-Katniss..."

"Hello, Peeta,"I say in a voice I don't recognize.

"What is all this?"he asks.

"I feel like we haven't seen each other lately, and I thought we should do something special. A congratulations for the bakery and a reward for all the hard work you are doing."

"The bakery isn't finished yet,"he says.

"Then we'll just have to do this again when it is."

Peeta slowly walks over to me as I spread my legs a little more to give him a view. He moans and says,"you're killing me, Katniss!"

I just bite my lip and smile.

I practically falls while getting to me. He kneels next to me on the floor and presses kisses to my legs. He slowly presses sloppy kisses up my legs to my thighs. I run my fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp.

"Mmmm,"he moans into my skin.

He moves up to my neck and presses sloppy kisses there, and then my jaw. He makes his way up to my lips, and bites it lightly. His tongue enters my mouth and it dances with my own.

I start to tug on his shirt. It's sweaty and dirty and its still on, which I have a problem with. I tug on it until we get it off. I run my hands over the plains of his hard chest. I hear the sound of his zipper being lowered.

He kisses me with fever and reaches up my shirt. His hand cups my left breast and he tweaks my nipple. I moan into his mouth and he moves his hand down to my underwear.

But our good mood is disturbed by a knock on the door.

"It's probably just Haymitch,"Peeta says and continues to take off my underwear. He sets it on the floor and starts to spread my legs more. But the knocking continues. With a groan, Peeta gets up.

He looks through the peep hole and says,"it's Prim?"

"Prim?"I get up and grab my bag. I wait around the corner to watch.

Peeta opens the door and let's Prim in.

"Hey, Prim,"he says,"what's up?"

"I have something that I have to tell Katniss. Her note said she was here."

"Uh, yeah. She's in the bathroom. Why don't you sit down."

I watch as they walk to the couch. I hold back a gasp when I see that my underwear is on the floor. Peeta slyly slips it into his pockets without her noticing. I go to the bathroom and change into my normal clothes quickly.

When I come back, Peeta has his shirt on.

"Prim? What are you doing here?"I ask in a surprised voice.

"Someone tried to attack dad again, they caught him!"


	27. Caught

A/N I have to say, I'm a little disappointed in the lack of reviews this last chapter got. I personally thought it was a pretty good chapter. But thank you for those of you who did review. And OMG I saw mockingjay and it was A-mazing! I'm a little disappointed in the fact that there was only one everlark kiss and it wasn't even a powerful one. I think there should have been at least one more and like a really good powerful and with all the feels :) but yeah mockingjay was amazing!

I kiss Peeta before leaving and tell him that I'll be back. He smiles at me and says,"I'll see you later then."

As Prim and I walk, she says,"so, does Peeta always have dinner with his shirt off and his zipper down?"

I blush brightly and don't answer her. She starts to laugh which makes me even more embarrassed. "Next time, make sure you take your underwear with you. I think Peeta has them."

Oh God she saw!

I can't even look at her. "Prim, you're not supposed to even know what this stuff is!"

"What? Sex?"

"Yes! Don't even say the word!"

She starts to laugh again and says,"sorry, but you can't shield me from knowing what sex is, I'm in high school! People talk."

"I remember,"I grumble.

We get to the hospital and are lead to a room where our parents are. Dad has a bruise on his right eye forming.

"What happened?"I ask.

"A man came at me as I was walking home. This time I was quicker than him and it threw him off. He got a good hit in, I will admit. But he won't be moving for a while." Dad has a serious face with a small smirk.

"He's here. They are going to interrogate him."

"Can I see?"I ask. I want to know who the fuck is trying to hurt my dad.

"Yes, I'll show you." He says.

He leads me to a hall way and stands in front of a window. The blinds are open and reveal a man who is hand cuffed to the bed. He is young. He's around my age but I don't recognize him.

"Is there a name?"I ask him.

"James Tanner."

"Sounds familiar, but I don't know..."

"The last name sounds familiar." My dad says.

We are interrupted by a nurse who wants yo check my dad. I stand staring at this guy, trying to make a connection. Who is he? Why did he attack my dad?

I feel a hand on my waist and it causes me to jump ten feet.

"Hey," Peeta says.

I thankful sigh leaves me. He embraces me in his arms and holds me.

"What are you doing here?"I mumble into his chest.

"I wanted to make sure you guys were safe. It's late and you don't have your bow... and honestly I didn't want to leave you."

Normally I'd get mad at his comment because it makes me seem weak, but I'm feeling vulnerable right now and I didn't want to leave him either.

"What's wrong? Aren't you happy they caught the guy?"

"Yeah, I am, it's just... I'm trying to figure out how I know this guy?"

"What's the name?"

"James Tanner."

"James Tanner? He was on the wrestling team. He's a year older than us."

"That's why he's familiar. He's from twelve!"

"Yeah, he was good. His dad was the coach. His parents didn't survive the bombing."

"What about any siblings?"

"He was an only child."

"Hmmm." I say as I look at this guy. My eyes narrow in confusion and anger. I want to feel bad, but I can't find it in myself to do so. I don't have any sympathy for this guy. He attacked my dad, and that's not okay.

"They're going to interrogate him."I tell Peeta.

"When?"

"I'm not sure. But I want to be there."I say.

Peeta puts his hand in his pocket and instantly blushes. He looks around before he pulls out my thong. "These are yours,"he says sheepishly.

"Put them back, my pockets won't fit them. Stupid girl jeans! They barely fit anything!"

He slips them back in his pocket and removes his hand. He wraps an arm around me and says,"I hope he's not after you."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's just that he could have been after your dad to get to you..."

My eyes furrow as I think. I hear a light chuckle and Peeta shakes. "What are you laughing at?"

"When you think, you furrow your brow. And it's cute,"he says.

I scowl at him which makes him laugh more.

"I love when you smile, but the scowl just fits you so well."

Peeta holds me closer in his arms and I lean my head on his chest. He presses a kiss to my temple and says,"just be careful."

I nod and rest against him.

"Katniss." I hear my mom's voice.

I look over Peeta's shoulder to see her standing with Prim.

"Your father wants to speak to you."

"Okay,"I say. I press a kiss to Peeta's cheek and then walk to the room. When I step inside, I find dad sitting on the bed. He pats the side next to him, motioning to have me sit with him. When I sit down he wraps his arm around my shoulders and says,"let me tell you a little something about love."

"What? Why-"

"Katniss, you've never been the type to take an interest in boys before. I've noticed how you're getting closer to Peeta lately. I can see when I look at you, that you've changed. You seem happier lately. You're healing. Don't let that change. And I know you, you're stubborn. Don't lock the boy out. I guarantee that when love comes into your heart, you'll be truly happy."

"Why are you telling me this now?" I ask him.

"I was just thinking about how love changes people. And people without love are bitter and they do bad things. Like that boy. I remember how I know that boy. His dad worked in the mines and his mom was a merchant. He looked more merchant than seam, and stayed with his mom and her parents. They didn't want people to know that a seam boy and a merchant girl were together, so they kept it under wraps. I don't remember seeing any of his family at district 13 so I'm assuming they died in the bombing. He's lonely. A loveless heart. A lifeless soul."

"So, you're saying that you're worries about me becoming a lifeless person because I won't let love into my heart?"

"No, not exactly. I'm saying that life is better with love." He says as he looks me in the eyes. I nod and then follow his gaze to the window. I see mom and Prim talking to Peeta through it.

Peeta smiles as he talks to them. And Prim, she already looks at Peeta like a brother. I allow myself to smile as I watch them interact. I lean my head on my father's shoulder and say,"I love you dad."

"I love you too, Katniss."


	28. The Interegation

A/N special shout out to iamnightlocked thank you for all your kind words! I love hearing from all of you fans out there it makes my day so much better!

Katniss pov

Today, that are interrogating James Tanner. We are in a room in the justice building. My dad, James, and an investigator are in a separate room that we can look upon through a two way mirror.

My mom, Prim, Peeta, and I watch as they interrogate him. Peeta has his arms wrapped around me in a comforting way. We watch in silence as they interrogate him. "What is your name?"

"James Tanner."

"Why did you attack John Everdeen?"

"I didn't want to attack him. But it had to be done." He says angrily.

"And why is that?" The investigator asks.

"It had to be done, because she needed to know the pain of losing your parents!"

"Who is she? Katniss Everdeen?"

"Yes, that stupid 'Mockingjay' ruined my life! Everything was fine before your daughter screwed everything up! It's her fault my family is dead!"

I feel Peeta tense around me. At first I think it's because he's going into a flashback, but when I look at his eyes they don't show signs of a flashback. But he does look like he's going to run in there and snap that guys neck.

"She's the reason twelve was bombed! My parents died that night! Along with all of my friends, who were at school at wrestling practice! They all died! The only one who did die was Peeta, but he's under her spell. I never understand what he saw in her, she disgusts me!" He yells.

"Your daughter is a monster! She killed so many people! She killed my family! She should have died with President Snow! She's just as bad!" He screams as tears flow down his face. A medic walks in and injects something that makes him calm down.

"One last question before you pass out- are you working with anyone."

"The- red revolutionari-ess" he slurs as he passes out.

My dad stands up and exits the room. I can't read his expression. His eyes meet mine, and that's when I see the worry. I look at Peeta, and I see anger and worry in his eyes too.

The investigator walks out of the room and says,"Ms Everdeen, if you couldn't see from the interview, this man is after you. We will be looking into the Red Revolutionaries, and we'll get back to you guys on that. But I suggest that you don't go walking alone. There are threats out there."

Peeta's arms tighten around me, like if he doesn't hold on, I'll disappear. I tighten my grip on his hands. I lean against his hard chest, and try to calm both of us down. If it were before the hijacking, Peeta would be the one comforting me more than I him.

I want to protest, but if I did, my parents and Peeta would argue.

"It's getting late,"I say,"maybe we should go home." I say.

"There's still more that has to be done,"my father says,"and I don't want you to be alone"

"I'll go with her,"Peeta says,"I'll make sure she's safe."

"And we can take Prim home,"I add.

"Fine,"my mom sighs.

Peeta keeps his arm around my waist as we walk, and Prim holds my hand like we would when we would walk through the town together. I feel her jump at every sound though. It makes me sad because this was supposed to be a world where Prim could live without fear. Sure, she doesn't live with the fear of being reaped, but now there's a new fear.

A fear of being attacked.

And it's all because someone is after me. Yet again, something is my fault. When we get home, Prim, Peeta, and I lay on the couch together. Me leaning on Peeta, Prim leaning on me. A movie plays but I don't think any of us are really awake enough to pay attention. Eventually Prim falls asleep with her head on my lap.

Peeta picks her up gently and brings her to her bed upstairs. I kiss her forehead as I cover her with the fluffy blanket the color of a Hydrangea. Peeta and I settle on the couch again, this time we take up the whole couch.

I don't know when, but we end up falling asleep. My head lays on his chest,he has one arm behind his head, the other is wrapped around me and his hand is clasped with mine, resting right bellow my breasts.

I wake up to the sound of my parents coming home, I close my eyes and listen to Peeta's snoring. I faintly hear my mom say,"just leave them. They can sleep there for the night. I honestly don't remember the last time she slept so peacefully."

"He really does have an effect on her." My father says.

"Do you remember when we were that age?" My mom asks my dad.

"Yeah, that was when I asked you to marry me."

"Yeah... can you believe it's been 25 years?"

"Yeah, and most people thought we weren't gonna last." My dad says.

"Do you think they will?" My mom asks quietly.

"I think they will. I've never seen her so happy. And they've been through so much together. I wouldn't be surprised if they got engaged this year."

"I would be happy if they did. I honestly thought she would never end up with someone, of if she did it would be Gale, but out of necessity."

What my mom says is true. Before, I probably would have been lonely or end up with Gale because that's what everyone expected.

I hear the light switch off and I can hear them walking upstairs. As I start to drift off, I feel Peeta's arms tighten around me and then his lips kiss my forehead. My hand tightens around his as I try to get closer to him.

"Katniss,"he says,"I know you're awake."

I lift my head up to meet his. He sleepily smiles at me and says,"hey beautiful."

I smile at him, blushing brightly. He leans in and kisses me. I wonder if he heard everything my parents said? My hand traces his jawline up to his hair. I slide my body up his so that I am even with his face.

My fingers lock on either side of his head in his hair, and my head dips down to his as I kiss him. His hands find refuge on my butt. I slip my tongue into his mouth and start to gyrate my hips against his. I can feel how hard he is.

He moans into my mouth and his hands squeeze my butt cheeks. He slowly thrusts against me, but then he stills. I pull away, looking at him confused. "I can't do this with your family only few feet away."

I sigh, knowing he's right.

He holds me close to him, lazily stroking my hair.

"You know I love you, real or not real?"

"Real."

"You love me, real or not real?"

"Very much real." I say before falling asleep.


	29. Important talks

A/N so I've come upon a fantastic story! It's called Stay with me, by ElleMarie291 it is a post mockingjay story and it is amazing! It doesn't have the publicity it deserves so please go check it out and review. Be sure to leave a review on this story, it's a really well written story and the person writing it seems like a great person. So please go read it! I think you all will like it. And now on with the story, I think you'll really like this chapter. :)

Katniss pov it's been a month since the incident with James Tanner. The weather is getting colder and it rains often. People have been having leaks in their roofs, so my dad has been gone a lot lately. The good thing about my dad, is that if anyone has a problem, he's there to help.

I lay in my bed, looking out the window watching the rain hit the hard surface of the glass and roll down. There's a soft beat on the roof as the rain hits. I see a figure in the distance coming into the victors village. The blond hair sticks out like a sore thumb in the gloomy day. I smile, seeing that he is walking towards my house.

I soon hear knocking on the front door. I run to the door and quickly compose myself before opening the door. He smiles at me, his hair is soaking wet and so are his clothes. He hands me a loaf of bread that he was protecting with his jacket.

"Where'd you come from?"I ask him.

"Can you guess where I baked this?" He asks.

I shake my head no and set it down on the counter. I help him with his jacket as he says,"that bread was baked at the bakery. We tested all the ovens. That was the first loaf baked there." His proud smile lights up the room.

"Wow, really?! When does it open?"I ask.

"Next month." He says,"will you be there with me when I open it to the public?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world,"I say with a smile.

I notice that his shirt is also wet and he looks cold. "You should dry off, you look like you're cold."

"A bit,"he says.

"C'mon." I take his hand and lead him upstairs. I take him to my room and grab him a towel. I start to lift his wet sweater from his body and throw it to the floor. He shivers, whether it's from the cold or the proximity of our bodies- I don't know.

I take the towel and wipe his damp chest. His eyes don't leave mine as I do so. His pupils grow larger as I run my hand across his chest. My fingers pass over his nipples and move down the plains of his abdomen towards his pants. He leans forward and presses his cold lips to mine.

I slowly push him to the bed as I unbutton his pants. He kicks off his shoes and pants, leaving him in his underwear. My grey nightgown is lifted from my body and thrown to the floor. I straddle his hips and kiss him again. He rolls us over so that he is on top of me.

His lips ignite a fire within my core that spreads throughout my body. My fingers make quick work of both our underwear, eager to get the barriers out of the way. His lips find my nipple as his fingers find my hot, wet, core.

I gasp his name as he pushes two fingers in. The rough skin on his thumb makes contact with my clit causing my hips to shoot up against his hand. "What do you want, Katniss,"he growls sexily.

My mind is an incoherent mess as I try to speak. All that comes out are weird noises and moans. "I- nugh-oh!"is all I manage to get out as he rubs harder. "What was that?" He teases.

"I want you!"

"How?"

"I need your mouth-"

"Like this?" He asks as he dips his head between my thighs and sucks my clit like it's his favorite candy. Peeta has always been talented with his tongue, whether it was speaking or other things...

My heart pounds in my chest as my orgasm rips though my body. Peeta comes up with a huge smirk on his face. His lips come up to my mouth, where I can taste myself on his tongue.

I flip him over and grip his manhood. My hand works him until he's almost there. Then I rub the tip of him against me. I sink down on him with a moan of pleasure that comes from both of us. His thrusts start out slow and I try to match his rhythm.

As he gets closer his thrusts get faster and more erratic. I can feel myself getting closer and closer to my second orgasm. He moans my name and then he comes deep inside of me as I squeeze around him.

I collapse on him in a sweaty mess.

I scoot up so that I can press my lips to him. As my tongue slips into his mouth, I hear the door open. Peeta and I both jump and look to the door in surprise. My dad stands frozen at the door. Anger in his eyes. He takes a deep breath and says,"I want both of you downstairs in two minutes!"

I look to Peeta and see he has gone completely pale. We get dressed as fast as we can, shaking as we do it. We walk sown the stairs slowly, afraid of what comes next. I take a deep breath when we come to the bottom of the stairs.

Both my parents stand in the living room. My dad has a stern face and his arms are crossed. My mom doesn't look surprised considering earlier this year when she found the negative pregnancy test.

"Sit." My dad says.

We take a seat on the couch, our hands folded in our laps like little kids who get in trouble. "How long has this been going on for?" He asks.

"It depends..."I start.

"What do you mean, it depends?" He asks in an oddly calm voice. He still sounds angry though.

"It started before the hijacking, and obviously the hijacking changed everything..."

He takes a deep breath and his hand wipes down his face. "I'm disappointed in the two of you, I thought you two were smarter than this. Please tell me you have some type of protection."

I nod.

Peeta looks like he is going to have a panic attack. He looks so nervous. I don't blame him.

"You guys are only 18, you're too young for this! You're still teenagers."

I want to protest and say that after everything we've been through, we are more than teenagers, but I don't.

"Katniss, go in the kitchen with your mom, I want to have a talk with Peeta." My dad says. I glance at Peeta who's eye's are wide. I reluctantly get up and walk to the kitchen with my mom.

Peeta pov

I think I'm going to have a heart attack.

Shit this can't be good.

John Everdeen stares me down as he takes a seat on the table in front of me.

"I'm going to be straightforward with you, Peeta. I am disappointed in both of you. I thought highly of you, and I really do think you're right for Katniss. Don't ever let me find the two of you like that again... I can see how much she loves you, just in the way she looks at you. Katniss has always kept to herself. She's never had a boyfriend before, so the fact that she let you in is big. Even under the circumstances you two went through. And I respect the fact that you came back to her. She was lost after losing you. I've never seen her like that before because no one has ever touched her heart like that. Don't ever hurt her, I would threaten to hunt you, but I'm sure she would have that down."

I crack a nervous laugh, and try to keep my cool. My throat feels dry and stiff.

"This might not be the best time to say this, but I'm afraid I won't have another chance. I love your daughter with all my heart. I can't go a day without her, I can't imagine living without her. And I promise never to hurt her. Which is why I want to ask you for your daughter's hand in marriage."

He looks down and starts to chuckle. Oh no, this can't be good.

He looks back up and raises an eyebrow,"you do realize what you're getting into right? Once you take her, you can't give her back. She's yours, I don't want her,"he jokes.

"I'm sure. I promise I'll never want to give her back."

"Let me tell you about marriage. It's a lot of work and its not easy. But if you work hard and you are a great husband, it's worth it. I don't have any worries about you being a husband, Peeta. You seem like the type of man who was meant to be a husband. So just treat her right."

"Thank you, sir."I say.

I feel like a giant weight has been lifted.

"That doesn't mean that I will forget everything that happen today,"he adds.

I nod and then he stands up. I stand up with him and we shake hands. I watch as he walks into the kitchen and Katniss walks out. She blushes when she sees me and slowly walks over to me. She wraps her arms around me and says,"stay with me?"

"Always,"I say with a smile. She doesn't know how true my words really are.

A/N I know, I know, another author's note. Anyways, I just want to thank everyone who reviewed, and God of course because this just hit 100 reviews! So thank you all so much!


	30. Engagement

John Everdeen Pov

I walk into the kitchen with Delilah and watch as Katniss steps outside with Peeta. She sits on the chair at the table and asks,"how'd it go?"

"Peeta asked me if he could marry her."

Her eyes are wide with shock. "Really?"

"Yeah... and I told him yes." She smiles at me. "But I told him I wouldn't forget what happened today."

"Oh, don't be like that,"she says as she playfully hits my chest. I can't keep my angry face. "You have no where to speak. Don't you remember when we were that age? When we were 19... before we got married?"

I nod. She stands up and wraps her arms around me. "My dad probably would have poisoned you if he found out what we were doing,"she laughs. My hands settle on her slender curves.

She smiles,"you have no place to get mad."

"And that's what makes me mad." I joke.

She rises up on her toes and presses a kiss to my lips. I study her face. This face, that I have been in love with for over 20 years. Even though we have both aged, I still see that 18 year old girl I fell in love with. He blue eyes glisten with love. I run my fingers through her blond and silver hair.

We have changed so much over the years. From crazy teenagers to established adults. Delilah was a young naive beauty when I first laid eyes on her. Hey blue eyes are surrounded by faint wrinkles, but her eyes still shine just as bright as they did before. She has laugh lines around her thin lips, that remind me of the most beautiful sound I've ever heard; her laugh. Even after having two kids, she's just as slender as she was before. Her breasts have filled out over the years, but that's a good change.

I have changed physically too. I'm not as built as I was before. My arms are still just as strong though. Wrinkles surround my eyes, and I have stubble on my face. When we were younger I had a baby face. Around the time Katniss was born I was able to grow a full beard, but over the years I have shaven my beard. It's starting to grow back now.

She runs her hand through my greying brown hair and says,"do you think she'll say yes?"

"I think she will. She loves that boy so much. She looks at him like you look at me."

"And he looks at her, like you look at me." She says with a smile. "He's going to make such a great husband. Just like you."

"He better treat her like a princess or an angel."

"So what did you say to him when he asked?"

"I said, 'you do realize what you're getting into right? Once you take her, you can't give her back. She's yours, I don't want her'."

She laughs and says,"John!"

"He agreed to take her. Then I gave him husband advice. What about in here? What happened?"

She shakes her head and says,"honey, you don't want to know. Nor do you need to."

I raise my hands and say,"never mind! I don't want to know."

* * *

Katniss pov

Today is the opening of the bakery. It's been a week since the little sex incident, hopefully my parents aren't hung up on that. It's sunny but cold. It's expected to rain later, even though it doesn't look like it.

Peeta let's me in early. It's not due to open until 1, but he said he wanted to give me a special tour this morning. We walk hand in hand to the bakery. He has a scarf wrapped tightly around his neck and his other hand in his pocket. It's so cold!

He pulls out his keys and opens the doors to the bakery. I stare at the beautiful, hand painted sign that says "Mellark Bakery". He steps inside and turns on the light. Tables fill the room, each one topped with a vase of flowers. I look closely at the flowers and see that they are Katniss flowers.

I look to the right side of the bakery and find a counter and a display case that is filled with delicious treats. There are cakes in cases on top of the counter. Lined on the back counter, are dozens upon dozens of cupcakes that he is giving out free today. Each one hand decorated.

He takes my hand and leads me past the double doors behind the counter. He flips the light switch and I am met with a beautiful kitchen. Ovens line the wall, along with stoves and tables. There are a few freezers and refrigerators. A door next to a counter leads to a giant freezer and another is an employee bathroom. There's a giant walk in pantry with a door too.

He leads me back to the main room and says,"over here is a hall that leads to the bathrooms and my office." He takes me into his office which has a black futon and a desk. There's a picture on the wall of his family. The burnt edges tell me he recovered it from the fire. He looks around the age of 15 when it was taken.

Hanging over the couch is a beautiful picture painted by Peeta of the bakery how it was when his family owned it. I walk over to his desk and find a picture of him and I on it in a frame.

He sits in his chair and I take a seat on the chair in front of it. "What can I do for you, Ms Everdeen?"He asks.

"Hmmm... You could take me on this desk of yours?" I say seductively as I run a finger across the desk's edge. He smirks.

"I don't think my girlfriend would approve,"he says.

I stand and walk over to him. I take a seat on his lap and say,"that's okay, who needs her?" He kisses me and then pulls away.

"As much as I would love to, I have other plans for you. But don't worry, we will sometime."

He picks me up and takes me to the door of the office where he sets me down. He leads me out and up a hidden stairway. He pulls out some keys and unlocks the door. "This is the top part of the bakery. My family and I use to live up here. I kept the layout the same. I haven't really done anything with it yet."

He brings me back downstairs and shows me a sign near the door. It say,"this establishment belongs to..."

"This isn't finished,"I say pointing to the sign which doesn't have the plate that should have his name.

"That's because I'm not sure what to put yet..."

"Don't you put your name?" I asked confused.

"I could... but there's something else I want up there..." I catch as he gets down on the floor as if to tie his shoe. I'm about to question him, when he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small black box. He opens it up, and inside of it is a simple band with a pearl on it. My pearl. My heart nearly stops.

"Katniss Everdeen, I have been in love with you since I was five years old. I remember that day when you raised your hand and sang your way into my heart. I've belonged to you ever since. I know that I can't live without you. And I don't want to know what that's like. I want you to be mine forever. Over the years you have been so many things to me, allie, girl on fire, lover, Victor, rebel, mockingjay, will wife be added to that list? Will you marry me?"

I gasp and my eyes fill with tears. I smile at him and say,"of course I will." I bend down and bring his lips to mine for a passionate kiss. When we pull apart, he slips the ring on my finger. "I love you so much, Katniss." He says.

"I love you too, Peeta."

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him to me again. His arms wrap around my waist as he kisses me.

"I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you,"he says after he kisses me.

"Me too."


	31. Engagement announcements

Katniss pov

Today we're telling my family that we are getting married. I'm a little nervous, but I'm also excited to get the news out. Peeta told me that he had asked my dad for his permission to marry me, but now it's time to make it official. Prim is going to be so excited.

Peeta is coming over for dinner tonight. I'm in my bathroom braiding my hair in a pretty way, when Prim walks in. "You look so pretty,"she says. I smile at her and say,"not nearly as pretty as you, little duck."

She blushes and smiles. She walks over to my bed where I have a dress laid out. "Is this what you're wearing?" She asks, gesturing towards the dress. I nod.

"What do you think?" I ask.

"I love it! You'll look so pretty!" She says excitedly clapping her hands. "But what's the occasion? Why are you dressing up? You never just dress up."

"You're right, I don't. But tonight we're having Peeta over for dinner and we're having a nice dinner."

"Oooo!" She says.

I walk out of the bathroom and put on the dress. It's dark blue, like the color of blueberries. Prim helps me zip the back and then says,"you look so beautiful, Katniss."

"Thank you, little duck,"I say hugging her.

"Will you braid my hair?" She asks me.

"Of course." She turns around so I can braid her hair back. When I'm done I smile at my little sister and take her hand. "Lets go, Prim."

We walk downstairs to find Peeta standing in the entryway talking to my dad. He wears a sweater that matches my dress and khaki pants. This wasn't planned. I smile at my fiancee, who seems to be glowing with happiness. I hug him and accept the flowers he brought me.

"You look beautiful,"he says as he eyes me.

I blush and say,"thank you. You look extremely handsome."

"Thank you,"he says.

We walk into the dining room to find the table set. "Thank you for the bread, Peeta. It's perfect for dinner," my mom says with a genuine smile.

"Anytime," Peeta says,"I'm glad you like it."

We eat dinner in an awkward small talk. My mom asks Peeta about the bakery, and my dad just simply asks him about his day. At the end of dinner, we decide it's the perfect time to announce our engagement.

"We actually have something we'd like to tell you..." I say.

My mom smiles knowingly and waits expectantly.

"We're getting married,"I say. I show them my hand, which I have been hiding all night. My mom smiles and tells us how happy for us she is. Prim squeals in excitement. And my dad congratulates us.

As we stand up to clean up dinner, Prim runs to hug both of us. "This is so exciting! I can't believe you're engaged!"

She hugs Peeta and says,"you are going to be a great husband! I just know it!"

"Thank you, Prim,"he says happily as he hugs his future sister-in-law. As we drink hot chocolate, my mom asks us what we plan on doing for the wedding. Truthfully I just want a toasting. A traditional district 12 wedding. Nothing special, or more like nothing big. It will be special no matter what it is.

"Actually, we haven't really talked about it,"Peeta says.

My mom nods, and smiles. "It took us almost two years before we actually got married,"she says.

* * *

Around 8, we say goodbye to my parents, telling them that we need to make some calls and spread the news. Haymitch is the next house we go to. When we open the door, he is sitting on his couch watching the news.

"Hello love birds." He says.

"Hi, Haymitch," Peeta greets him.

"Let me guess, you two are getting married?" He says.

I stare at him baffled. "How did you-"

"It's all over the news right now. Someone caught sight of your engagement. There's even footage of you walking home after the bakery opening. The ring isn't exactly small."

"Why can't we just haves ome fucking privacy!" I say angrily.

Peeta's grip on me tightens as he holds me comfortingly.

"Because, Sweetheart, like it or not you are the mockingjay and the star crossed lovers. People have been waiting for this day since the first games." Haymitch says. I look to Peeta who is expressionless.

"Maybe Effie can help. If there's anyone who can persuade the capitol, it's Effie." Peeta says. Haymitch agrees.

Before we leave, he says,"well, congratulations love birds."

"Thanks, Haymitch,"we say.

When we get to his house, his phone is ringing. "Hello?" Peeta answers the phone.

"Well hello to you too, Johanna... Yes it's true... No she's not pregnant! Johanna! No! Johanna, I'm not going to tell you about that!" His face turns red and he looks flustered.

"Okay. Johanna wants to talk to you," he says to me. He hands me the phone.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't brainless. So you're getting married? Wow this is shocking! Looks like all that lovey-dovey stuff was real after all. And you're not pregnant?" She asks.

"No! Johanna, I am not pregnant!"

"Just making sure! So, are you going to wear anything special that night, you know something sexy for Peeta bread?"

"I don't know! Johanna I don't want to talk about that!" I say blushing. I hear Peeta chuckle.

"Oh c'mon! No details on how you're going to fuck your husband for the first time?" She says.

"Johanna! No!"I say.

"Oh come on Brainless! Have some fun."

"No, I'm good. Is there anything else you want to talk about or do you just want to torment me with my sex life?"

"Well, just wanted to call and say congrats love birds."

"Thanks Johanna."

"Annie also says congrats."

"Tell her we say thanks."

"Alright, tell Peeta that I say that he needs to fuck you good,"she says. My mouth opens in shock. I didn't know it could get worse!

"Umm...Alright...bye Johanna."

I hang up the phone and then say,"Johanna says, and I quote, 'tell Peeta that I say that he needs to fuck you good.'"

His eyes widen and his face turns even redder.

"Wow."

He wraps his arms around me and says,"as much as I'd love to follow through with that, I think there's something more important that we need to talk about." He says.

I look up at him a little confused.

"What are we going to do for this?" He asks as he holds up my hand with the ring.

"I was thinking about having a traditional district twelve wedding. I don't want to have a very big wedding."

"If that's what you want, then that's what we'll do." He says.

"You're okay with that?"

"Of course! I want that day to be perfect for you."

"You are so perfect, Peeta,"I say before I kiss him.

He smiles and says,"not as perfect as you."

I just roll my eyes and kiss him.

"So we'll go down to the justice building, get our marriage finalized, and then come back for a toasting with all our friends and family?" He asks.

"Yes, that's exactly what I want."

"I love you, Katniss."

"I love you too Peeta."


	32. Two bodies, one heart

Katniss pov

Today I'm getting married.

I wake up early and step into the shower. I let the hot water wash over my body, removing everything from me. Today I become Katniss Mellark. There will be no more Katniss Everdeen after today. Although I feel as if the true Katniss Everdeen died in the first games. I scrub away at my skin, ridding myself from the past.

When I step out I wrap a fluffy towel around myself and go into my room. I sift through the box of clothes from Cinna and find e dress that I found last week. There was a note attached to a white dress that read,"Katniss, this dress is a dress that I made for your real wedding. I know that you really love Peeta and that someday you will be married to him. So this is for that beautiful day. Congratulations, Katniss. Love, Cinna."

Tears prick at my eyes as I think about Cinna. Even he could see the truth. I hold up the dress. It's very simple, yet very beautiful. I search through the box for some sexy lingerie to wear under. Then I slip on the slip over it and finally the dress.

There's a knock on my door. "Katniss, can I come in?" My mom asks.

"Yes, mom." I say.

She opens up the door and steps in. She smiles when she sees me in my dress. "You look absolutely beautiful! You make such a stunning bride," she says.

"Thank you, mom,"I say.

"Can I do your hair?" She asks.

"Sure,"I say. She leads me to the bathroom where she does my hair in a beautiful braided style. This brings me flashbacks of when she did my hair for the reaping, but I push those thoughts aside.

"I have something for you,"my mom says. She pulls a hair pin from her pocket. It's very beautiful. "I wore this on my wedding day. My mother gave it to me to wear and I was to give it to my daughter to wear on hers, and you are to give it to yours someday."

I thank her, even though I am never having kids and it would probably be better to give to Prim. She puts it in my hair and then says,"there you go sweetie."

"Thank you, mom." I say and then hug her.

She presses a kiss to my forehead and then says,"this is a day you will never forget. You will forever hold this day in your heart, so try to relax, and enjoy it. Are you exited?"

"I am. And a little nervous."

"I'll get you some tea. It will help calm your nerves."

"Thank you."

As my mom steps out, my dad walks in.

"Wow, you look so beautiful Katniss." He says as he comes to sit next to me on the bed. He wraps an arm around me and says,"you are a beautiful bride. And I am so happy for you."

"Thanks, dad."

My mom comes in with tea and sits on the other side of me. I sip my tea gratefully and talk to my parents until it's time. We are to meet Peeta and Haymitch at the Justice Building.

Prim squeals when she sees me. "Katniss! You are the most beautiful bride in the whole wide world!"

"Not as beautiful as you will be someday, little duck."

She blushes and smiles.

When we arrive at the justice building, I see Peeta standing outside with Haymitch. He looks so handsome in his suit. He's a pearl surrounded by all this ugly coal dust. My heart flutters at the sight of him.

I run up to hug him. He swoops me into his arms and twirls us around. He presses a kiss to my lips and says,"You look so beautiful Katniss. I love you so much."

"I love you too Peeta, and you look so extremely handsome." I say and kiss him again.

"Are you ready to get married, sweetheart?"Haymitch asks.

"Yes, I'm very ready,"I say.

Peeta lets go of me and I blush remembering that my family is right there. My parents just smile at me. Peeta reaches a hand out to my dad and shakes his hand. Then he hugs my mother and presses a kiss to my mom's cheek. Then he hugs Prim.

Peeta wraps an arm around my waist and we walk in. We are escorted to a room where a man explains everything and asks us a few questions. Then we are asked,"Do you take each other to be your lawfully wedded spouse for all of eternity?"

"I do," we both say.

We sign a paper, and then our witnesses sign too.

"I pronounce you, husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Peeta smiles at me his brilliant smile and then pulls me to him for a beautiful passionate kiss. "I love you, Mrs Mellark,"he says.

"I love you too, Mr Mellark."

My family hugs us and even Haymitch hugs us. They all congratulate us on our marriage. "Are you ready to go back to our house?" My heart soars when he says our house.

"Yes,"I say with a smile.

When we arrive home, our friends stand at the door with rice in their hands. As we start to walk through the tunnel our friends made at our door, they sing the traditional song. Peeta unlocks the door to his-I mean our house. He opens the door and then scoops me up in his arms.

Everyone cheers and follows behind. To my surprise there is a meal set on the table and a fire is going in the fireplace. Blankets are set in front of it with a plate filled with bread. Everyone gathers around in the living room. Peeta leads me through the group to the blankets. We take a seat on them and then Peeta grabs two metal rods and the bread. He hands me one and he takes the other.

Together we place the bread in the fire. When it is golden, we pull it out and each rip off a piece. Peeta smiles and says,"Katniss Everdeen Mellark,"he smirks as he says my name,"I have loved you since I was 5 years old. I can still remember the moment I fell in love with you. I will never forget it. Each day, I feel myself falling in love with you more. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you beside me. I love you, Katniss. Always."

"Peeta Mellark, I may not have loved you for as long as you loved me, and I may not know exactly when I fell in love with you, but I do know one thing. You snuck up on me. I never thought I would love someone as much as I love you, but I'm so incredibly blessed that that's changed. I love you with all my heart, and I can't live without you. Always."

We both rip off a piece of bread and feed it to one another. Everyone cheers as we kiss each other once more. After we gather at the table and eat. When that is over together we thank everyone for coming tonight. As much as I love all my family and friends, I really want some alone time with my husband.

When we are finally alone, Peeta takes my hand and leads me to the blankets in front of the fireplace. I wrap my arms around him and pull him in for a passion filled kiss. He slowly lowers me down to the blankets and pillows.

He breaks away from the kiss and then looks me in the eyes.

"I love you so much Katniss." He says as he stares into my very being.

I look into his beautiful ocean blue eyes and say,"I love you too Peeta."

He kisses me again slowly moving down my body. His lips are everywhere, and suddenly these clothes are restricting. As if reading my mind, he helps me sit up and unzips the back of my dress. He slips the dress from my body and then the slip.

He lets out a guteral moan when he sees the lingerie I'm wearing. "Katniss... You are going to be the death of me!"

I move my hands to unbutton his shirt and pants. I slip them off, leaving us both in our underwear. His underwear looks to be uncomfortable with how hard he is, so I take them off of him.

I press a kiss to the tip of his manhood, causing him to twitch as I taste the pre-cum. He moans my name as I lick the underside of his shaft. But then he pushes me away from him. "I won't last long if you continue... and I want to be with you."

I smile at him and run my fingers through his hair.

His lips are on mine in an instant. His hands move to massage my breasts. I moan into his mouth and straddle his waist. One oh his hands moves down to the index between my thighs. He can feel how wet I am through the underwear.

I reach back and unclasp my bra and throw it away from us. His lips find my stiff peaks instantly. I pull at his blonde curls as my head leans back. He leans me back on the blankets again as he removes my underwear. Now we are equal. No shoes, no shirt, and no problems.

We're kissing passionately as he slowly enters me.

We both moan into each other's mouths as we become one. He slowly moves back and then thrusts deep into me. He thrusts into me again and again, picking up pace with each thrust.

Our breaths get louder and more needy. He pants my name as I moan his. He bites my neck and sucks, leaving a mark I'm sure. My nails dig into the smooth skin of his shoulder and move down his back.

"Katniss,"he pants,"I'm-I-"

"Let go Peeta,"I say.

He grunts my name when he comes, as I moan his.

When we come down from our high, we stare into each other's eyes. His skin flickers in the light from the fire. He runs his hand down the side of my face to my shoulder and down my body.

A tear rolls over his perfect cheek.

"I love you so much, Katniss Mellark."

I lean forward and kiss the single tear. The passion warms my heart, there's a fire hotter than any inferno. It burns in my heart and through my veins, warming every bit of me.

"I love you my husband,"I say before kissing his soft lips.

"You don't know how happy I am right now." He says.

"I do, because I'm right there with you."

He pulls me close to him, my back pressed to his chest. Our hands are clasped, both our rings touching as we fall into a peaceful sleep.


	33. Shopping an packing

Peeta pov

I wake up with my face buried in dark hair. I breath in her scent and sigh in contentment. My wife lays in my arms still asleep. I can tell by the soft snoring that she denies she does. My hand lightly squeezes hers, our fingers interlocked. I raise our clasped hands slightly and look at the rings that now rest on our ring fingers.

It amazes me how a small band can mean so much. It's a symbol of our bond. Our love for one another. I rest my head between her shoulder and neck and press a kiss to the warm pulse on her neck.

I hear her moan in her sleep. A shiver runs through her and her breath hitches. I press my lips to her neck again, but this time I keep them there and suck, knowing that it will leave a mark.

She sighs my name. I instantly become hard at the noise.

She turns over in my arms and I see a huge smile on her face. Her fingers move up to a spot on my neck and she says,"you have a mark from my lips on your neck."

"Good,"I say,"let everyone know I belong to you."

She leans in and kisses me again. Then she pushes me onto my back and straddles my hips. Her hands are in my hair, pulling at my curls as she devours my lips. The pain is delicious.

Her hands are cold, but her body is warm.

She reaches one hand between us and strokes my hard member. I moan into her mouth and thrust up against her palm. She pulls her lip away from mine, holding my bottom lip between her teeth.

She lifts up her hips, and grabs my throbbing cock, rubbing the tip against her wet lips. She has an evil grin on her face as she teases me. "Katniss," I grunt,"stop teasing me!"

With that, she sinks down on me with a sigh of pleasure. "Peeta,"she moans.

She's so tight and wet! I let out a groan and grip her hips. She moves her hips fast, bringing us to our brink. She squeezes me as I shoot my seed into her. Then she collapses on top of me.

I run my fingers through her sweaty hair and hold her close to me. I still can't believe she's mine. I am the luckiest guy in the world! How did I ever end up so lucky? I've been dreaming about marrying her since I was 5 years old.

We don't leave our house for a whole week, but finally my week off is over and we need to go grocery shopping. I put on a sweater and some pants along with my boots. This is the most clothes I've worn all week.

Katniss slips on a long sleeve shirt, pants, and her boots. I hate to see her wearing some clothing, we've been living in our own little world for too long. She takes my hand and we walk out of the house.

Haymitch who is sitting on his porch yells,"well look who it is?! It's the newlyweds. Decided to escape the sex cave? Next time, SHUT THE GOD DAMN WINDOW! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY OF YOUR SEX NOISES!"

Katniss and I blush brightly at his words. And to make it worse, her parents are on their porch. Katniss and I just ignore him and walk down the street, completely embarrassed. When we walk past her parents house her mom says,"good morning, Katniss, Peeta. How are you?"

"We're good,"Katniss says.

She smiles and then says,"are you going to come by and pick up your things, now that your 'honeymoon' is over?"

"Yeah, after we go to the store we'll be by." She answers.

"Okay, have fun at the store!" She says.

We say goodbye and then walk down to the store. I hold her close to me as we walk through the cold. I kiss her cold cheek. Her warm hand holds mine. "I love you,"I say to her.

"I love you too, Peeta,"she says.

We walk into the store and grab a cart. I normally go shopping alone. I had no family, no one to shop with. But now, now I have Katniss to shop for and with. She walks next to me as I push the cart.

She loads the cart with a few things that she likes, but mostly leaves it up to me. Her reasoning is,"you do most of the cooking, and I don't really snack that much."

"You have to have some preferences,"I say.

"On what?" She asks.

"Lots of things. What type of meals you want, what type of meat, and not just food, but for other things like what type of detergent to use."

She raises an eyebrow and says,"Peeta, do you honestly think I care about what type of detergent we use?"

I laugh and shake my head,"I suppose not. But I still want your opinion. It's important to me."

"The blue one,"she says.

"What?" I ask, confused at what she's saying.

"I prefer the blue one. It smells nice." She says sheepishly.

I smile at my wife and say,"then we'll get the blue one then."

She rolls her eyes and then drops something in the basket.

As we walk through the store picking up everything we need, Katniss comes upon a box and tries to cover it as she puts it into the basket. "What's that?" I ask her. She turns bright red and avoids eye contact.

I look at the box she set down and read it says Menstrual Pads. "Katniss,"I say tenderly,"there's no need to be embarrassed. It's only a part of being a female. It's no big deal. I mean, hell, if you asked me to go buy some for you, I would in a heartbeat."

She lets out a small laugh at my words. I knew that would lighten her up. "I'm sorry Peeta, I know you won't judge me, but it's just not something I'm not comfortable with you knowing about. Even if it is natural."

"It's okay,"I say grabbing her hand and squeezing it,"I understand."

When we are done shopping, we drop everything off at the house and go to her parents house. All of her things are still there. We've been caught up in our little world, so it never really bothered her that for a week she didn't have any clothes to change into. She mostly was naked, or would wear one of my shirts and her underwear.

We go up to her old room, which remains untouched. As she grabs clothes from her closet, I start to pack clothes from her dresser. I fold her clothes and set them into the box. It's mostly underwear and sleep clothes.

I open another door and find a bunch of shirts. As I'm packing them, I notice a shirt that I haven't seen in almost a year. "Is this my shirt?" I ask holding it up. She pops her head out of the closet and starts to giggle.

"Maybe..."

"How the hell did you manage to get this one?" I ask.

"I have my ways." She says with a devilish grin.

I laugh and shake my head. If one things for sure, that woman will never cease to amaze me. She sets a box outside of her old closet and then starts working on another box.

I finish with the dresser, so I move onto the bathroom. I pack up her dental things and all her hairbands and brush. I reach into her medicine cabinet and find many different pill bottles. Amphetamines, antidepressants, cough drops, and then I find several bottles of birth control. There are several Orange bottles from the capitol. I have the same ones. Pills to help with PTSD and other side effects of the games.

There's an almost empty bottle of sleeping pills and relaxers.

I put it all into a box and try to not think about what I've just seen. When I finish up in there, I find that Katniss has finished the closet and has moved on to her bedside table. She has very few possessions.

Just a few books her mom gave her, the amulet I gave her, the spile, pictures I made for her, a wooden carving from her dad, and a small coin purse made of old worn leather.

I fold a few blankets on her bed that look to be hand made, and then pick up a picture that dropped on the floor. It's a picture of us during the victory tour. Our love wasn't real then, but in this picture we are smiling lovingly at each other.

I wonder why she would keep this?

I hand the picture to her and she slips it in with the other things. I decide not to question her. She must have her reasons, so I won't question them. She stands up with the box in her hands and smiles at me.

"Looks like that's it."

We have seven boxes to bring over. Katniss picks up the largest one. I take it from her hands and say,"I got the two giant ones."

She rolls her eyes and settles on a medium sized box. Her parents also help bring boxes over. When we finish, he father walks up to us and says,"why don't you two come over for dinner?"

"Of course,"I say.

Katniss smiles and says,"sure dad. We'll see you tonight."

"Thank you for your help, Mr Everdeen,"I say and shake his hand.

"Please Peeta, you're my son-in-law now, call me John."

"Okay, John." I say. He smiles at me with an approving smile.


	34. Family Dinner

Katniss pov

Peeta and I arrive at my parents house around 5. Prim greets us at the door. She things me tightly and says that she misses me. "I'm just a house down, Prim,"I tell her.

"I know, but it's different not having you down the hallway from me,"she says.

"I miss you too, little duck."I say and kiss her forehead. My dad walks into the room and pulls me into a hug.

"Hi, Katniss,"he says.

"Hi, dad,"I say in the comfort of my dad's arms. Just like when I was little and I would come home from school. When he lets go of me, he moves over to my husband and shakes his hand.

"Hi, Peeta,"he says.

"Hello John,"Peeta says happily.

We walk over to the living room and sit down on the couch. My mom comes in and says,"Hello Katniss, Peeta."

"Hi mom."

"Hi Delilah,"Peeta says.

"So how's the married life?"My mom asks us.

I smile at my husband. I just love that word. He smiles back at me with a smile that makes my heart flutter. I love this man so much. I turn to my mom and say,"it's been great."

I lean against Peeta and kiss his shoulder. He smiles at me and nods. I don't know why I was so afraid of getting married, because it's just such an amazing thing. It's so certain and comfortable. I know that he loves me and won't leave me, and now no girl has the right to hit on him. Doesn't mean that will stop them, but the don't have the right.

"I miss the honeymoon stage,"my mom says,"enjoy it while it lasts."

"The honeymoon stage?"I ask.

"Yeah, when your love is still new and fresh. You can't keep your hands off each other, and you have no kids to worry about. I love you and your sister so much, but once you have kids, you can never go back to it being just you."

"I don't want kids, mom,"I say.

I don't look at Peeta. I know he wants kids, so as he shifts uncomfortably I can't find it in myself to look at him. It's too early to talk about children anyways. And besides, I'm never having them.

"I think you'll change your mind eventually." My mom says.

I just sigh and lean back into Peeta. Soon we are called to the dinner table. We are have lamb stew. One of my favorites. I smile as my dad makes conversation with Peeta. I can see how relaxed Peeta is as he talks to my father, which makes me extremely happy.

I'm glad they were able to get over the whole incident. I thought my father was going to chop of his dick honestly.

They even joke with one another.

Prim tells me about her school as we talk at dinner. "Any boys?" I ask her.

She blushes bright red.

"There is one, isn't there?" I ask smiling.

She nods sheepishly.

"Who?"

"Rory Hawthorne..."

"He's a good one,"I say,"and he's cute."

She blushes even more.

"I don't know if he likes me."

"If he starts to act weird around you, and he laughs at everything you say and blushes a lot, he probably likes you."

She nods and says,"thanks, Katniss. Is that how you knew Peeta liked you?"

"Yeah...and he announced it to the whole entire country." I say laughing.

"It worked," Peeta chimes in. I smile and roll my eyes.

After dinner, we play a card game that my parents use to play all the time. And then we all talk in the living room. Peeta and I sit on the couch, his arms embrace me as I lean into his chest.

He kisses me on the top of my head and his hand plays with my hair. "We should do this every Sunday,"my mom says.

"What?"I ask.

"Have a family dinner." She says,"I enjoy my time with you both."

"Yeah, sure,"I say nodding.

The next morning I wake up to Peeta not being in bed. I groan remembering that he works in the morning now. I get up and hop in the shower. I'm so use to showering with Peeta, it's strange being alone.

I make my way to the bakery as soon as I'm dressed. When I get there, Peeta isn't in the front. Instead, his employee is. "Hello, ma'am, how can I help you?" I don't recognize them.

"I'm looking for my husband,"I say.

He looks a little confused with what I said. He looks to only be 17, and his name tag says Tyler. He looks like he doesn't know how to answer my comment. "What does he look like?"

"Well, he's blonde, muscular, tall, and he's your boss."

His eyes grow wide. "Oh! You're Katniss Everdeen! I'm sorry I didn't recognize you!"

"Mellark now,"I correct,"and it's fine that you don't recognize me. I prefer that people don't."

"Oh, sorry Mrs Mellark."He apologizes.

"It's okay. Do you know where Peeta is?" I ask.

"He's in the back." He says.

"Thanks."

I step around the counter and then go through the doors. When I walk in the back, I find that Peeta has his back turned to me. I smile at my opportunity. I glance around the room and find it empty, beside us.

I walk over to him quietly, and slowly unzip my top halfway down my breasts. The cold air makes my nipples hard automatically. I tap his shoulder when I'm ready. His humming stops and he turns around.

"Yeah-"he stops when he sees me. His gaze lands on my exposed chest.

"Excuse me, I need some help."

"That you do,"he says still looking at my chest.

He walks forward and meets my mouth with his own eager lips. His hand cups my lower back and his other hand cups my breast. I moan into his mouth and allow him to kiss me deeply. His mouth moves down to my neck and then to my shirt. I expect him to unzip it more, but he does the opposite.

I go to protest but he stops me. "Sorry love, as much as I want to, we can't. My employees could walk in at any time."

I groan and he says,"I know, I really want to. Why don't you meet me in my office?" He says. I smile a devious smile and nod. I walk out the door that leads to the hall and find his office.

When I get inside, I sit on his desk. I look at the picture of us on his desk. He changed it to a picture of us on our wedding day. My mom must have taken this picture. We look so happy and in love.

I smile and set the picture down.

The door opens and Peeta walks in. He smiles and says,"I spared us a few minutes."

I grin at him and say,"well, well, well, Mr Mellark. I see you are naughty."

"Not as naughty as you, Mrs Mellark."

* * *

As Peeta lays over me, thrusting deep inside me, I moan his name into his mouth. Right as I'm about to explode, I hear the last sound I want to hear right now. The door opening.

"Wow, seriously love birds? Here? Damn you guys are kinkier than I thought. Also, nice ass bread boy and damn you are hung like a horse, does that get heavy?"

"Hello to you too Johanna."


	35. Johanna

Katniss pov

"Johanna!" I scream blushing as I try to cover myself with Peeta.

"Hi, Brainless!" She says happily. "What's up?"

"Hmmm...I don't know, just having sex with my husband,"I say sarcastically.

"Yeah, I can see that,"she says.

"Can you just give us a moment, Johanna?" Peeta asks nicely.

"Hmmm, I don't know Peeta boy, I wouldn't be able to look at that nice ads of yours." She says with a cackle at the end. Peeta rolls his eyes and reaches for his underwear, while trying to cover me.

He grabs my shirt and throws it to me. I zip it up and wait for him to grab my underwear. Peeta has never had a problem with nudity, but I do. He hands me my underwear and I quickly slip it on.

"Johanna, what are you doing here?"I ask slightly annoyed by the intrusion and interruption.

With exaggerated mock hurt she says,"can't a girl visit her friends? I haven't visited you in a while and we have a lot to catch up on."

"Cut the shit, Johanna. What is it?" I say.

"I have a bit of a problem... and you are the best one to talk about it to." She says.

I can see it in her eyes. She really needs me.

"Okay, just give me a moment and then we'll go back to my house."I say. She nods and steps out of the room closing the door behind her. I turn to Peeta worried. "What do you think it could be?"

"I'm not sure, "Peeta says,"but she really needs you. And Johanna never asks for help."

"You're right, Peeta."I say.

He kisses me and says,"I'll see you when I get home."

"Okay,"I say and pull on my clothes.

"And we can finish what we started,"he whispers in my ear.

I blush and smile. I don't say anything, I just nod.

I walk out the door and find that Johanna isn't there. So I walk to the kitchen, and find a frustrated Tyler trying to stop Johanna from eating a pastrie. "Ma'am, you can't be back here. Please go back to the front-no don't eat that!"

"It's okay, Tyler she's a close friend."

"Okay..."He says a little reluctant to leave.

"Who does that guy think he is?" Johanna says with food in her mouth.

"It's Tyler, and he's just doing his job. He's new, so don't scare him off. He seems like a good guy."

"Fine,"she buffs.

"Lets go back to my house so we can talk,"I say to her.

When we arrive at my house, she goes into the kitchen and takes a seat at the table. "So what's up, Johanna?"I ask.

"I think I'm in love." She says it like it's the worst thing in the world.

"That's great, Johanna!"I say happily.

"No it's not!"She says throwing her hands up.

"Tell me what happened?"I demand.

"Well, back in seven, I was at the bar. And then I see this familiar face. So I go over to him and start taking shots with him and talking and then that night we have like the best sex I've ever had. And then I saw him there every week for a month. And I realized that I'm in love. But it scares the fucking shit out of me, because everyone I love dies."

"Johanna, that's because of Snow. You don't have to worry about that anymore. He's dead now. You can love someone and not worry about them dying because of Snow."I tell her.

"That doesn't mean you stop worrying,"she argues.

"I suppose not, but it's less to worry about." I say.

"Do you still worry about Peeta?"

"Everyday. But the fear doesn't rule my life anymore." I tell her honestly.

She nods.

"So who is this familiar face?"I ask her.

"You are going to be surprised..."She says.

I stare at her blankly,"who is it?"

"It's Gale."

I'm taken aback by this. Gale? As in Gale Hawthorne?

"Gale?"

"Yes."

"I thought he was in two?"I ask.

"He's a general, and he had a mission in seven. He was there all month and has to return next month. He couldn't tell me why, though. He was really lonely when I first saw him." She says.

"I can imagine that being a general can be a lonely job."I say,"but he chose that life."

"He said he was going to see you, but he wasn't sure how you would feel." She says.

"Does he know?"I ask.

"About you being married to Peeta?" She asks.

"Yeah."

"Yeah, his mom told him. He's happy for you."

"Maybe I should call him. I haven't seen him in forever."

"Katniss, I can't face him!" She says.

"And why not? I thought things were going good?"I ask.

"They are, I mean we have a strange relationship, but there's more to it..."She says looking down.

"What is it?"I ask.

"I think it's possible that I might be pregnant."

"Johanna!"I say.

"That's why I need your help. I don't know what to do, Katniss."

"First you need to find out if you even are pregnant."I tell her.

"You're right."

"My mom can check you. She's been doing that for years."I explain.

"Okay."

"If you ars, then you have to tell him. And if you aren't, you don't have to say anything. Just make sure you dispose of the test properly if you take one that way"

"Wait- did you have a pregnancy scare?"

"Yes,"I sigh.

"Wow, I'm surprised,"she says.

"I was so scared." I say.

"Did you tell Peeta?"

"Eventually." I say,"let me go call my mom so she can check on you."

After j call my mom, I sit back down with Johanna and we talk more about Gale. She tells me that he will be in twelve for a week. I really want to see him. I want to make sure he's alright. From the sounds of it, he might be going into a depression, and he seems to be coping with it with alcohol.

There's a knock on the door signalling my mom's arrival.

"Are you ready Johanna?"I ask.

A/N sorry I haven't posted sooner. This weekend was my birthday so I've been busy with constant parties. And today is my mom's birthday, but i managed to get some time in so I could finish this chapter. Please review!


	36. The test

Katniss pov

My mom walks in and says,"are you ready Johanna? I'm going to need you to lye on your back and lift your shirt." Johanna nods and does as she says. She moves her hands over her stomach and pokes at it.

She bites her lip and says,"hmm..."

"What is it?"I ask.

"You're pregnant."She says.

"You're sure?" Johanna asks worried.

"Yes. You are definitely pregnant." She says.

"Shit! This is horrible! What am I suppose to do?" Johanna says sitting up abruptly.

"Just tell him, Johanna. You can't keep this from him."I say.

"From who?" My mom asks.

"From Gale,"Johanna sighs.

"Oh,"my mom simply says, shock evident on her face. I can't believe all this. Two of my best friends are going to have a kid together? This is crazy! I guess they are good for each other. Normally I'd say someone as firery as them would need some daft and passionate to equal them out. But they both have a special kind of fire. A fire that needs to be kept alive by someone just as equally firery.

Their competitive, cocky personalities will edge each other on. It's what they need. I guess some fire needs more flames to keep it going, and some fire needs a soft flower to keep it going.

I need Peeta. My fire needs to be edged on by my dandelion. More fire is not what I need. It's the last thing I need.

Johanna collapses on the couch and sighs. I take a seat next to her and say,"is there anything I can do?"

She leans against me and says,"will you help me figure out how to tell him?"

"Of course."

My mom speaks up,"when I found out I was pregnant with Katniss, I was just as terrified. I didn't know if John wanted children. We were barely married too. I kept trying to put off telling him. I'd make excuses as to why I wasn't feeling good, or why I was acting weird, until one day, I just blurted it out. He was ecstatic. I wasn't expecting it. I was so focused on the negative that I missed the big picture."

Johanna looks at her, taking in her words.

"A child is a blessing." She says to Johanna,"and I'm sure Gale will be happy."

"He does want kids. He use to tell me that if he lived in a different place he would have kids. And now we do. Your kids will be safe in this world, Johanna."I tell her.

"When are you going to have kids, brainless?"She asks.

"I don't want kids..."I say.

"What about Peeta?"

"He's always wanted a family, but I can't give him one. I just can't." I say.

As if on cue, Peeta walks in.

"I can wait until you're ready, Katniss. There's no rush." He says softly. I can see truth in his eyes but he still looks a little hurt. I wish to remove that hurt from his eyes, but I know that I can't.

He walks over to me and presses a kiss to my forehead. "So what's going on?" Peeta asks.

"I'm pregnant, bread boy." Johanna says.

"Whoa, congratulations, Johanna,"then he adds awkwardly,"who's the father?"

"Gale..."

His eyes widen in surprise,"Gale?!"

"Mmmhmmm."

"Wow, I didn't know that you guys were together."

"It's complicated."

"If you'd like to stay with us, Johanna, you can,"I tell her.

"Thank you, brainless."

"So, does he know?" Peeta asks.

She shakes her head,"I just found out like five minutes ago."

"He's coming here in 3 days... I'm going to tell him then."

We both nod in understanding.

That night, as I lay in the bath washing my hair, Peeta walks into the bathroom. He wears nothing but a smile as he walks over to the tub and slowly sinks in across from me. It's a good thing this bath is so huge.

"May I?" He asks pointing to my hair.

"Sure,"I say and turn around so that my back is leaning against his chest. He presses a kiss to my cheek and then moves his hands up to wash my hair. His gentle fingers work my head like the bread he kneads.

I close my eyes, content with the sensations I'm feeling. Then, when I'm completely relaxed he starts to speak. "Katniss, do you ever plan on having children?"

I sigh. I should have known that this talk was going to come sooner or later. I was hoping it would be later. "I'm not sure. I know for sure that I don't want children now."

"Why not?"

"Well, I've never wanted children before... mainly because of the games, but now there's still things to worry about. Like my nightmares and your flashbacks. Those people who are out to get us, the ones who attacked my dad. The coin supporters... the world may be changed but there are still risks. Plus, we barely just got married. We need to spend time with just us. Once you have a child, you will forever have that child."

"Katniss,"he says softly,"our nightmares will become easier to handle. You'll get less and less until they eventually go away. My flashbacks are getting under control. I might always have them, but they are controllable. And I won't let any stupid coin supporter hurt you or any child of ours."

"I know,"I sigh,"but this is a big decision and I'm not ready for it. We are still very young too."

He sighs and says,"I'm not saying that we have to have one now, I'm just saying that someday when you are ready, I think we should have a baby."

He reaches for the cup and rinses the soap from my hair. After he is done with my hair, I lean back against him and close my eyes. "I don't know,"I sigh.

"Just think about it... one day to have little feet running around. A girl with dark brown curls and grey eyes. Or a boy with blonde curls and blue eyes. I could imagine laying on the couch with both of you in my arms as we fall asleep together. The sound of your voice as you sing our baby to sleep-"

"Stop!"I yell as I push up from his arms and out of the tub. I can't take it anymore. I know how much he wants this fantasy to come true, but I just can't do it. I can never give him the life he truly wants.

"Katniss, I-"he starts but I'm already out of the bathroom. I slip on my robe and run to the closet in the hall. Soon I hear footsteps. I expect it to be Peeta, but to my surprise it's Johanna.

She sits down next to me with two mugs in her hands. "Peeta wanted me to give this to you. He knows that you don't want to talk to him,"she says as she hands me a mug.

"But he knows I'll talk to you."I say.

She nods.

"What happened?" She asks.

"Peeta started talking about babies."

"Still don't want any?" She asks.

"No... I don't know.."

"You can't punish the guy for talking about it,"she says,"it's just in his nature. I swear that boy loves everything."

I sigh knowing she's right. She takes my mug as I stand up. "Where are you going, brainless?" She asks.

"I need to apologize to Peeta."


	37. Gale

A/N I just want to remind everyone to be positive and to not be judgmental. I struggle with that and am trying to change that about myself. So in doing so, I am encouraging others to also do the same. Just know that no one is better than you, we were all created equal and should all love one another because if you don't, you'll live in a state of unhappiness. So please, remember to be positive and do not judge others :)

Katniss pov

When I get downstairs, Peeta is sitting at the counter storing his hot chocolate mindlessly. His hand is under his chin as he stares at the wall, deep in thought. I slowly walk into the kitchen behind him and lean against the wall in awe. Finally, I walk over to the other side of the counter so that I am face to face with my husband.

"Hey,"he says to me.

"Hey..."I say quietly.

After a moment of silence I say,"I'm sorry Peeta..."

Peeta looks at me and says,"I understand, I was out of line. You don't want children and I understand that. I'm perfectly happy with it just being us. Having children is only a bonus, not a necessity."

"Peeta..."I sigh,"you were just talking about your dreams, I don't blame you. I just don't want children now. Maybe some day."

He looks at me surprised,"really?"

"Maybe."I say.

Peeta sets down his mug and stands up. "Are you ready for bed?"He asks and I nod. As I walk by him, he grabs me by the waist gently and kisses my cheek. "I love you, Katniss."

"I love you too, Peeta."

* * *

Johanna paces nervously. Gale is in town.

"Johanna, you need to calm down. Everything is going to be fine,"Peeta tries to calm her down but it does little use. She continues to pace and bite her nails. I've never seen Johanna so nervous. It's not like her.

She jumps when the doorbell rings. I stand up from my spot on the couch and go to answer it. When I open the door, I'm taken aback by what I see. In front of me doesn't stand the 18 year old boy who was there when Snow went down.

He looks Der and stronger. His hair is shorter and he has some stubble. He smiles at me. "Hello, catnip."

"Hi Gale,"I say smiling back at him.

He steps forward and hugs me. "I've missed you,"he says.

"I've missed you too,"I say to him. Peeta walks up as we break away from our hug. They shake hands with each other and Peeta says,"it's nice to see you, Gale."

"Nice to see you too, Peeta. Congratulations on the wedding,"he says.

"Thank you,"we both say.

Gale smiles and says,"you guys look really happy together."

"Someone else is here to see you,"I tell him.

He looks confused and then smiles and asks,"is it Prim?"

I shake my head and lead him to the other room. As soon as he sees Johanna, he walks up to her and hugs her. "What are you doing here?" He asks surprised, but happy.

"I came to see Katniss and Peeta." She says.

"What's wrong?" He asks, instantly seeing her discomfort.

Johanna sighs and takes his hand. "Maybe you should sit,"she says leading him to the couch. Peeta and I stay around the corner, but still listen in. "There's something that you should know about..."

"What- what is it?"He asks worried. I can actually see the love that Gale has for Johanna and it makes me happy.

"Gale, I'm pregnant..."She says.

He looks at her with wide eyes. "You-you are?" He asks, shocked by her announcement.

She nods slowly.

"And it's mine...?"

"Of course it's yours!" She says. Then sighs,"I understand if you don't want it... or me, I-"

"What are you talking about? Of course I still want it and you. I really do love you, Johanna." He says as he takes her hands in his.

"Gale, I'm scared,"she says,"what are we going to do? I can't be a mom."

"We'll do what we can to make it work. I'll move to seven if I have to. I'll quite my job if I have to to be with you. Or we can move to twelve, I'm sure my mom would love that. It would be nice for you to meet my family."

"I would like to move to twelve. It would be nice to be near Katniss and Peeta." Johanna states.

I watch as Gale holds her in his arms as she starts to cry. Peeta wraps an arm tightly around me and smiles. "They are really cute together,"he says to me. I agree, they seem perfect for each other.

* * *

Later, we all go to my parents house. My parents wanted to see Gale again, and they invited Hazel and the kids to come over for dinner. My dad, Peeta, and Gale talk as Hazel, Johanna, my mom, and I talk in the kitchen.

"I think you and Gale will be great parents,"My mom says.

"Yes, and I'm so excited that you guys are having a child, although I do wish you were married,"Hazel says.

"Thank you,"Johanna says.

As I'm setting the table, I feel arms around me. I smile and turn to my husband who is hugging me. I lean up to kiss him and then hear 'aweing'. We break apart and find my parents smiling at us.

I smile at my husband and then continue to set the table. When dinner is ready we all gather at the huge dinning room table. My mom only uses this table for special occasions because it's unnecessarily huge.

Peeta holds my hand, as he plays with my wedding ring. I kiss his hand and give him a smile. I look up to see Johanna rolling her eyes. "You guys are TOO adorable and its disgusting!" She says.

Peeta gives her a playful smile and says,"what, I can't adore my wife?" Then he kisses me.

"Well I've seen you adore her too much,"she mutters,"shall I remind you of the other day?" Johanna makes fake gagging noises as she pretends to throw up. Peeta and I both turn bright red as we remember her walking in on us having sex in his office.

"What are you talking about?" Prim, who is sitting on the other side of me asks.

"Nothing, Little duck,"I say quickly.

After my dad says the prayer, we start to pass the food, which is very delicious. Johanna doesn't eat much, I'm guessing the pregnancy is still making her sick.

During dinner, Hazel and my mom talk excitedly about the baby. My father and Gale talk about hunting while Prim and I talk about her schooling. Peeta and Johanna takes about parenthood.

When my conversation with Prim ends, she turns to Rory who is sitting next to her. I can't help but notice their shy glances and slightly awkward conversation. They both blush and smile whenever they meet eyes. It's really adorable.

Peeta notices it too because he leans in and says,"do you think they're together?"

"I'm not sure, but they definitely like each other."

"I remember in high school, every time I looked at you I would blush. Especially when we made eye contact." He says,"just one look from you would give me butterflies." Then he leans in really close and whispers,"and it would make my cock hard."

His daring words cause my legs to clench. I have to remind myself where we are.

I move my hand under the table and palm him over his pants. Two can play this game. His eyes widen and I feel him grow hard. He shifts his pants. The possibility of being caught makes everything so much better.

"You mean like you are now?"I asks playfully.

He suppresses a moan.

"Are you okay, Peeta? My dad asks.

"Yeah, I just stubbed my toe,"Peeta lies smoothly.

I smirk triumphantly.

When I start to talk to Johanna and Gale, Peeta reaches up under the skirt I have on and rubs my clit. I think Johanna notices my change but she doesn't say anything. Soon Peeta excuses himself from the table.

I know exactly why he has to excuse himself. I'll get him back later.

After we finish dinner we all go into the living. I sit on the couch with Peeta leaned up against my legs. Johanna goes home with Gale after thanking Peeta and I. And Hazel thanks my parents for everything.

Peeta and Prim talk about the district. I watch them interact and it makes me happy. Peeta really loves Prim. It's hard not to. They always have fun together. He's the brother she never had.

My mom sits down next to me and smiles. "He'll make a great dad one day."

I nod but don't say anything. "Are you ever going to have children?" She asks.

"Peeta wants them."I say.

"But do you?" She questions.

I shake my head.

"You would be a mother, Katniss. You are so good with kids. And so is Peeta."She says.

"I couldn't... the world is too dangerous."

She sighs. Then she says,"have you ever been to the hospital since the war? There are sick children there. And they need to be cheered up. I know they would love it if you and Peeta came down to the hospital to cheer them up. They are all very sweet."

"I don't like hospitals,"I say.

"Katniss, these children need to be cheered up. I really think you should help out. I'm sure Peeta would love it too."

"Fine, I'll ask him."I say.

I glance back at Peeta and Prim and find them laughing together. Peeta looks over at me and smiles. I smile back at him and then say to my mom,"fine, I'll do it."


	38. Hospital Children

Katniss pov

As Peeta and I eat dinner, I bring up the sick hospital children. "My mom asked me to talk to you about taking a trip down to the hospital. She says there are sick children who need to be cheered up. She thinks you would be the best person to do that."

"I would love to help the children." He says, a smile lighting up his face. I knew he would agree. Peeta can never turn down a helpless child. It's just not in his nature. "Are you going too?"

"If you want me to, I will,"I say to him.

"Of course I want you to. It would be a great experience." He says.

I'm not sure if I can do it. Memories of the children in the hospital at 8, flood my mind. They were burned and bleeding. Some were extremely sick and hurt. I remember one even coughing up blood. I know that it won't be as gruesome, but I can't help but have that fear of seeing that again.

"Are you okay, Katniss?"Peeta asks, looking worried.

I shake the memories from my mind.

"Yeah, I'm fine..."I lie,"it's just bad memories..."

"Tell me."

"I went to 8 to shoot a propo. We were at the hospital. They had been bombed. It was filled with hurt and sick people. There were a lot of sick/hurt children. That was the hardest to see. I couldn't stand it. It made me sick to my stomach to see."

"It won't be like that, it doesn't have to be like that anymore."He says taking my hand in his. I know he's right, but I can't shake the uneasy feeling I have.

* * *

Peeta and I make our way to the hospital. It's a lot bigger now that they have redone the city. It's also very nice. Nothing like the old hospital that I grew up with. That one was more of a old broken down building with an operating table and a few rooms.

But now, it's a huge building!

My mom comes walking down the hallway with a fellow co-worker as we walk in. "Katniss, Peeta!" She greets us.

"Hi, mom,"I say.

"This is Frances. She's a nurse who I work with,"my mom says motioning to the young girl standing next to her. "Frances, this is my daughter Katniss, and her husband Peeta."

"Hi, it's nice to meet you,"she says politely.

"You too,"Peeta says shaking her hand.

"Frances works in the pediatrics department. She will show you where the non-contagious sick children are."

"Right this way,"she says leading us down the hall. She leads us into a room that has a giant mural on the wall of a park and has toys in it. Some children are in beds, some are playing with a nurse on the floor with the toys.

"This is Katniss and Peeta. They are here to see all of you,"Frances announces.

Peeta smiles at all the children and quickly finds a place to start. I follow him to the beds where several children lay,hooked up to machines.

There's a girl laying on one bed, she has no hair and is extremely pale. Peeta offers her a smile and says,"Hi, cutie, what's your name?"

She smiles and says,"Cadence."

"It's nice to meet you, Cadence. I'm Peeta."

"Hi, Peeta." She says.

Something about her reminds me of Prim when she was little. She has the same wide bright blue eyes. "How old are you?"Peeta asks her.

"I'm six." She says.

"Wow, six years old! That's great." He smiles. "Has anyone ever told you how adorable you are?"

The little girl shakes her head.

"No? Well, you are one of the most adorable little girls I have ever met." Peeta says, which causes her to smile brightly.

"Do you have any hobbies?" He asks her.

She nods,"I like to draw."

"Really? Me too! I love to draw." He says.

I smile at my husband as he continues to talk to Cadence and cheer her up. It amazes me how much love and compassion he has. I know that he would be just as great, if not better, with his own children.

I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see a little girl with scars on her face. "Are you really her?" She asks. She looks to be 11. "Are you really Katniss Everdeen?"

"Yes,"I say offering her a smile.

"My mom told me that you're the reason I won't have to go into the games." She says.

"You'll never have that fear again."I say.

She hugs me. I cautiously wrap my arms around her as she says,"thank you."

I smile at her and brush hair from her face,"what's your name?"I ask her.

"Taylor."

"It's nice to meet you,Taylor,"I say.

"Is it true, you and him?" She asks. I instantly remember Rue saying the same thing to me. I smile and nod.

"Yes, he's my husband."I tell her. Her eyes go wide.

"Really?!"

I nod.

"Wow! That's so cool!"

"You should go talk to him,"I say.

She blushes,"I couldn't- I-uh."

"Peeta, come over here,"I call. He gives the six year old a hug and then walks over to me and Taylor. "Peeta, meet Taylor."

"Hi, Taylor,"Peeta says holding out his hand to her.

She blushes bright red and reaches out to shake his hand. "Hi Peeta."

"So, how are you?" He asks.

"I'm eleven." She says.

"Wow, eleven! Do you have any hobbies?"

"I like to read." She says.

"Really? What do you read?"I ask her.

"I usually read the news paper. I like to know what's going on." She says.

"That's very smart of you,"I tell her,"it's good to know what's going on around the world."

After visiting hours are over for the children, France's leads us back to where we came in. My mom comes walking towards us and says,"how did seeing the children go?"

"It was amazing,"Peeta says,"I loved talking to all the children. They are so brave."

"Do you guys want to help me with something else? There was an emergency, and now we're short on nurses. We need people to go and hold the newborn babies. All you would have to do is hold them and feed them. It's very simple, but it helps a lot."

"I don't know-"I start. The truth is, I've only ever held one baby and that was Prim. I'm not really much of a baby person. I'm afraid of hurting or dropping them because they are so small.

"I would love to do that!"Peeta says excitedly. "Come on, Katniss, it will be really cool."

He's like a little kid. I can't deny him this, he's so excited.

"Fine,"I sigh.

Frances leads us to where all the babies are. First we wash our hands, and then we enter the room filled with newborn babies. "This is Janice, she will tell you what to do,"Frances says.

"Hi, Janice. I'm Peeta and this is my wife Katniss." Peeta says.

"Nice to meet you, sugar. Oh, you're Delilah's daughter right?" She asks.

"Yes."I say.

"Most of the babies you just need to pick up and hold. They need to feel the comfort of a 'parent's arms'. Some of them might cry because they are hungry. Bottles are already prepared, so all you will have to do is feed them one. And that's pretty much all."

"Okay, thank you,"Peeta says.

He walks over to a crib that reads "Hunter Gayle". It's a little boy with brown hair and olive skin. He looks like a seam baby. I stand behind Peeta and watch him. He turns to face me, a huge smile on his face as he holds the small baby.

Hunter reaches up his small hand and stretches his tiny fingers.

A look of amazement fills his eyes. I can't help but smile at my husband. He looks so at peace. As if he was born to hold babies. He looks up at me with a very happy smile as he says,"look at him. Isn't he just so adorable?!"

I smile and give him a nod.

There's no doubt that this baby is adorable.

"You should hold him,"Peeta says.

I hold up my arms in defense as I shake my head,"no, I really shouldn't. I don't really know how-"

He sets the baby back in his crib and positions my arms,"all you do is hold your arms like this." He explains and then picks up Hunter and places him in my arms.

"Peeta,"I protest but he lets go and now I am the only one holding the baby. It feel awkward in my arms. He squirms a little bit, causing my heart to race.

"Relax. You're very tense. Position him so he is comfortable. Don't worry, you won't drop him." He says helping me. I take a deep breath as I slowly move him so that his head is in the crook of my elbow.

"See? You're doing great." Peeta encourages.

Hunter opens his eyes and reaches a small hand up to me. I smile at him as he grasps at nothing. When I look at Peeta, he has another baby in his arms. It's a little blonde girl. She looks to be merchant.

My mind starts to wonder what our children would look like. If we were to have any, that is. Would it be a boy or girl? Would it's eyes be blue or grey? Would the hair be brown or blonde? Would it's skin be a little more tanned like mine or pale like Peeta's?

I shake the thought from my mind. I don't want kids. At least I think I don't want kids. Hunter starts to cry and instantly I freeze, completely tense. Janice comes over with a bottle and takes him away from me.

Then Peeta hands me another baby.

* * *

That night as we lay in bed, Peeta asks me,"what did you think of those children?"

"They were all so brave. It's sad that they have to go through all of that."I say sighing as I think of all those sick children.

"And what about the babies?"

"They were adorable,"I say honestly"but I could never handle one all the time."

"You didn't like it?"

"I don't know..."I sigh,"I don't want to talk about it."

Peeta sighs, rolling over away from me. I know that I've upset him. But it's the truth. Maybe someday we MIGHT have kids. But I don't know. Knowing that the conversation has ended, I lean over to kiss his cheek and say,"I love you, Peeta."

"I love you too."


	39. Hunting In The Morning

Katniss pov

I open my eyes to find Peeta's cheek pressed against my forehead. I kiss his neck and slowly untangle myself from him. He lets out a grunt and pulls me back to him. He kisses my cheek and says,"where are you going?"

I smile and say,"I'm going hunting with my dad."

"Oh, I had some other plans for this morning,"he says as he kisses my neck. I smile as his arms hold me tighter and his mouth sucks harder. Then my mind catches up and I pull away from him.

"No, I can't! I already promised to go hunting!" I say.

Peeta sighs but nods his head.

"I won't be too long,"I say as I stand up. He sits up in bed and gives me puppy dog eyes. I lean over and kiss him. "We can do that after."

"Ew you'll be all gross and sweaty,"he says jokingly. He makes a face and then laughs when I stick my tongue out at him. I hit his chest and then walk over the bathroom. I braid my hair and then slip into my hunting clothes.

As I put on my shirt, I can't help but notice how my body has changed. I'm not as skinny as I once was. My breasts have rounded and they are becoming too big for this shirt. Before I never had a problem with my body but now it's becoming to look more like a woman than a twelve year old.

Even my hips are getting wider.

I let out an annoyed groan as I look in the mirror.

"What's wrong?"Peeta asks from the doorway.

"It's my body!"

"What's wrong with your body? It's beautiful."

I sigh,"as a teenager, I was always too malnourished to actually have a figure. But now that I'm not anymore, my breasts are bigger and my hips are wider-"

"And that's a bad thing?" He questions, not filling what I'm saying.

"Well, I mean- no. But now my hunting clothes are becoming too tight and um, I'm not exactly use to all of this,"I say motioning to my body. "It's going to get in the way of things!"

"We can just go buy you more hunting clothes. It's no problem,"Peeta says.

"I know,"I sigh, giving up.

I put on my hunting jacket and then slip on my boots. I kiss Peeta one last time before I grab my bow and head out the door. My dad is walking out the door just as I come jogging up.

"Morning, Katniss,"he says smiling at me.

"Hey dad." I say as I stop beside him.

"Ready to go hunt?"

"Yep,"I say nodding.

We walk the familiar path to the forest where we hunt. As we make our way through the branches and over the roots and rocks, I say,"I want to take Peeta out here again. It's so beautiful and peaceful."

"Spring is coming up. That's the best time to come out here." He says.

"Did you use to take mom out here?" I ask.

"Yeah, we use to sneak out here when we could. It's been a while though. I should take here back out her now that there's no worry of getting caught."

"We could make a family day out of it." I add.

"That would be very nice. I'm sure your mom and sister would love that." He says smiling.

"Yeah, and so would Peeta." I say.

My father smiles at me,"I remember when I was first married to your mom. We use to go on all these romantic dates. Even if we didn't have money to go somewhere or get something, we made the best of it."

"Peeta always finds a way to make the best of things. It's just in his nature." I say as I load my bow.

My dad points to a squirrel in a far tree. "Do you think you can get that one right in the eye?"

I shrug.

"I believe in you."

I aim my bow at the small creature and then let go when I think that I have it where I want it. I watch as the figure drops out of the tree. My dad is quick to grab it. A huge, proud smile on his face.

He holds it up like a trophy.

"I knew you could do it."

He hands me the squirrel to skin. I take a rock and throw it at a tree a few feet away where a flock of birds are. They all fly away and my dad shoots them down one by one.

I run with him to pick them up. All of them are right in the head. We bring them to the lake and start to skin them. That's when we see a little fawn. Before the games, we would shoot anything we could find. Even the baby deer.

We had to. It was them or us.

But as I look at it now, I feel a little sick thinking that I killed a baby. Even if it was an animal. A child, just like the children in the games.

I shake my head. We were starving.

But now we aren't. So we don't have to kill it. So I observe it. It walks carefully to the water and starts to drink. My dad and I freeze.

It looks up and sniffs the air. It's ears twitch.

Then it flees from the area back into the lush forest.

"A fawn..."I say quietly.

"It's rare to see a baby this time of year,"he says.

"Yeah,"I say.

"Even the forest is building itself up again." My dad says.

"Just like the districts."

* * *

After I walk with him home. I take the meat and go back to my house to change. I walk in and call for Peeta. He walks out of the kitchen in only his boxers and freezes. Shit. I know that look.

He looks at the blood on my clothes and his eyes widen. His eyes darken. He mutters one word.

"Mutt." Then he lunges.


	40. The Struggle

A/N a guest asked why there was blood on her clothes if she didn't kill anything. I would just like to point out that she did kill something, she killed a squirrel and some birds. And the reason she got blood on her was because they were cleaning and skinning their kill.

Katniss pov

Peeta lunges before I can move out of the way or defend myself. His hands grip me tightly as he wrestles e to the ground. One of his hands gets a hold of my fragile neck, his fingers instantly blocking my airway.

I reach for whatever I can. My vision starts to go black in spots, so I reach blindly until finally, my hand closes around a book that fell when he tackled me. I fight for my breath as he screams at me.

The hand with the book in it whacks blindly at him, making contact with what I think is his head. His eyes flash and my heart goes cold with fear. Fear. Something that I should never feel about my husband. Tears fill my eyes. A combination of the fear and pain from my throat.

I struggle against his strong arms, my hits becoming weaker with every second. This is how I'm going to go. By the hands of my beloved. Only I deserve it. I did this to him. I deserve this.

My most relaxes as I feel the breath leaving me. I'm about to completely black out, when the pressure around my throat is gone. I hear a vague crash. It sounds so far away, but through small spots of vision, I see movement only a few feet away.

There's screaming and the sounds of things breaking.

But I can't find it in me to move at all as I gasp for air. My lungs trying to make up for the oxygen lost. My eyes close as it all slips away from me and I go into unconsciousness...

Light shines into my eyes as I slowly open them. My fingers grasp the sheets bellow me. They feel different than the soft silk sheets on our bed. No, I'm not in my room. Where am I?

I sit up abruptly, my head spinning as I do so. I try to steady myself, but find it extremely hard to do. When I can finally focus on what's happening around me and not the pounding in my head or the soreness of my throat, I take a good look around the room I'm in.

It's a familiar room. I've been it before. It looks like one of the extra rooms in my house. Maybe I am at home after all. I hear a hiss come from my left, which draws my attention. Prim's ugly cat, Buttercup, sits on a chair next to my bed.

I must be at my parent's house.

But why? What happened?

The cat hisses at me and I croak,"I-" but I stop because it hurts too much and it sounds like a dying frog. This pain is familiar to me. I remember this same pain when I was chocked by Peeta in 13.

Where is he? And what the hell happened to me?

I hear footsteps walking down the hall. They are too quiet to be Peeta. Prim pokes her head through the door frame and sighs with relief. "Oh good, you're awake."

I go to speak again, but nothing comes out and Prim holds her hand up to stop me. "Believe me, you won't want to speak for a few days,"then, as if she could read my mind she says,"I'm sure you are wondering what happened and where Peeta is."

I nod.

"Peeta had a flashback. A bad one." She sighs."Dad came to bring you your hunting knife, and heard yelling. He said you were passed out when he came running in. He stopped Peeta."

"As for Peeta, I uh...I'm not allowed to say,"she looks at me apologetically.

What? Why can't she tell me! Someone please just tell me where my husband is! That's when my dad steps into the room. "Why don't you go get her something for her throat, Prim,"he says finding an excuse for her to leave.

"Okay, dad,"she says hopping up from her spot on the edge of the Ned and skipping out of the room. My father takes her spot on the bed and rests a hand on my ankle. He pats it gently and gives me a sad look.

He lets out a heavy sigh as he prepares for what he is about to tell me. "Peeta... He um...He decided to take a trip back to 13 for some more counseling. He said it was the best thing to do. He feels so terrible for hurting you, Katniss. He wanted me to tell you that he loves you and that he'll be back when he thinks he's ready."

Tears start to flow from my eyes and a terrible squeak escapes my raw throat. My dad scoots up closer to me and gathers me in his arms as I cry. "You're welcome to stay with us, Katniss. Actually-I'd prefer you'd stay with us."

I just continue to cry into his arms. It burns my throat but I don't care. I just want to be in the arms of my husband. I want to hear his calming words and smell his fresh scent of cinnamon and dill.

My dad kisses my head and strokes my hair.

"I'm sorry, Katniss. But he's still sick...broken." My father says.

I know he's still broken. But he was doing so well. He loves me, which is a big difference from when he first came back. I thought we were past this...

My mom walks in with a tray in her hands. She gives me a sad smile and sets the tray down on the table beside me. She reaches for mug with a ghastly green color. She stirs it with a spoon. It's very thick, like honey but smells like herbs.

"I'm going to put this on your throat. It will numb your throat and allow it to heal,"she says and then picks up another mug,"this is for you to drink. It will help heal your throat."

She hands me the mug to drink and it smells awful.

I make a face as I press it to my lips. I take a sip and choke on it. It's so disgusting! I shake my head and give it back to my mom but she pushes it back to me. "You need to drink this, Katniss."

I shake my head again.

"Katniss Everdeen Mellark, you will drink this!" She says in a motherly tone like when I was little.

I roll my eyes and drink it as fast as I can. My mom puts the green gunk on a warm rag and wraps the rag around my neck. "Now you just need to rest,"she says.

I sigh and lay down against the pillows. My parents kiss my forehead and slip out of the room. I start to cry when I'm alone. I just want to see Peeta. I want to be in his arms, like I should be.

I feel sick to my stomach.

Later at night, there's a quiet knock on the door. Prim pokes her head through the door frame with a pen and pencil and the phone in her hand. "Hey," she whispers,"I have an idea."

I sit up, and pat the spot next to me. She sits down and hands me the pen and pencil. "I was able to get a hold of the people in thirteen. They gave me the number to Peeta's room. I figured, you could write what you want to say and I could speak."

Tears well up in my eyes and I pull her in for a hug. I writ down on the paper, "thank you, Prim! This means so much to me."

She smiles and dials the number. She puts it on speaker and we listen while it rings. Then I hear his voice and the tears flow.

"Hello?" He sounds rough and tired, like he hasn't been sleeping all night.

"Hi, Peeta, it's Prim,"she says in a cheery voice.

"Prim? Is Katniss with you? Is she okay?" He asks sounding worried.

"She's right here. She uh...can't speak, but she's writing and I am going to tell you what she says."

"Oh no... She can't speak because of me.."He sounds like he is about to cry. I write as quick as I can while still being legible.

"She says: I love you, Peeta. I just want to be in your arms. And I miss you."

"I'm so sorry, Katniss. I love you too, but I hurt you."

"She says: you don't have to do this. Come home back to mo?"

I rewrite the me and point at it viciously until she gets the point.

"Oh, sorry. Me, she says. Not Mo."

"No Katniss, I do need to do this. I thought I was better, but I'm still a threat to your life. I need more counseling. I don't want to hurt you anymore. I'm too afraid that next time, there won't be someone there to stop me."

Tears stream down my face as I shake my head. I quietly start to sob, but I guess it's loud enough for him to hear because he says,"Katniss? Oh love, don't cry. Prim-is she okay?"

"She's crying,"Prim sighs.

"Katniss,"he says softly,"you love me, real or not real."

"Real,"I croak out. My voice is breathy and hoarse, and it hurt so bad to speak, but I just needed to get that word out before I hang up the phone.

Prim sets the phone aside and the paper. And then gets under the covers with me. She curls up beside me like when we were young. I kiss her forehead and smile at my little duck.

She smiles back at me and whispers,"goodnight, Katniss."


	41. Healing Bruises

Katniss pov

Weeks pass, but Peeta still isn't back. We've talked whenever we could. Well, he talked and Prim talked for me. I still am not able to actually speak because of the bruising on my vocal cords but hopefully today I when my mom checks me, I will be given the all clear to speak again.

I miss my husband. My family has done the best they could to help and support me, but there's only so much they can do. Who I really want is Peeta. I want him here beside me, holding me. I want to feel his lips on mine as he holds me in his arms. The closest I get to that comfort is hearing his voice on the phone.

My nightmares are getting worse. I fear that I am keeping Prim up at night. She insists on sleeping in the bed with me, just like when were younger, but I know my thrashing keeps her up. I'm sure they wake everyone up. But she still is there with me. My poor little duck, I catch her yawning all morning as she slumps around the house.

My parents are also doing everything they can to help. My dad talks to me all day, telling me about the forest and newer plants that he has discovered. I watch as he writes them in his plant book. And when more serious conversations arise, he tells me about marriage. And he gives me advice about why his and mom's marriage has lasted so long.

Even throughout all of this, my dad still has a special liking for Peeta.

My mom also comes to help me. She fixes me tea to help my throughout and addresses my bandages. She also talks to me about marriage and life. She tells me a lot of useful information that I want to hear and even about some things I don't.

And at night, her and dad kiss Prim and I on the forehead just like when we were younger.

Today I feel a little sick. This time of year is known for the stomach flu, and I'm afraid I may have caught it. Luckily no one else in my family is sick. I jump up from my bed and rush to the bathroom where I throw up all the contents in my stomach. Prim is there behind me holding my hair.

"Should I get mom?" She asks after I'm done.

I weakly nod my head as I rest against the counter on the floor. Prim is up in a second and flying down the stairs to get my mom. Soon I hear the sound of many footsteps coming up the stairs.

My mom is the first to appear at the door, my dad closely behind her. She lays a cool rag on my forehead and checks my temperature. Then my dad scoops me up in his arms and moves me to my bed.

"You don't have a fever, so that's good,"my mom says with a small smile.

"Is she okay to speak now?" My father asks.

"Let me check the bruising. She should be safe to speak but I need to make sure."

She lightly presses her fingers on my throat as she examines it. "Try to speak," she tells me.

"I-I ww-ant m-my h-husband." I say, my voice cracking.

"Well, she can speak,"my mom says.

"When can I see him?"I ask.

"I don't know... He called while you were sleeping. He said they want him to stay for another month. I told him that you should be healed enough to call him tonight." My mom says.

"Now I need to check your other bruises."She says.

She shoos my dad away, and then lifts my shirt over my head. There's a bruise on my collar bone and one on my lower stomach. They are both dark, but fading. She lightly runs her finger over my collar bone and then moves her fingers to the bruise on my stomach. She presses around the bruise in different places. Then she freezes and says,"your bruises seem to be healing nicely."

"Here, take this and try to rest,"she says handing me pills,"Excuse me a moment, girls,"she says before leaving the room.

Delilah pov

I quickly walk out of the room, closing the door behind me. John stands leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. "How is she?" He asks.

I let out a sigh before I answer him,"I don't know how to tell her this..."

"What is it?" He asks becoming even more concerned.

"She's pregnant, John."

He looks at me shocked. "Are you sure?"

"I felt it while I was looking at her bruises. I've been feeling that for over twenty years, it's not something I could have mistaken." I tell him.

"Oh no, this isn't good. She'll freak out. Especially with Peeta gone." He says.

"I know..."

"Should we tell her?"He asks.

"She needs to know. I mean do we really have a choice?"I ask.

"I guess not." I sigh. He wraps his arms around me and says"hey, it's going to be okay."

"I'm just afraid for her. She doesn't want kids, John. How is she supposed to accept it without Peeta here? You see how broken she is without him. I hate to say it, but she really does need him. He keeps her together. They keep each other together."

"I think we should just tell her." He says. "She needs to know. She deserves to know."

"I guess you're right." I sigh.

I take his hand and we walk into the room together, ready to conquer this as a family. Her and Prim are sitting on the bed talking to each other when we walk in. They stop and look at us, waiting to hear what we have to say to them.

"Katniss, there's something we need to tell you,"we say together.


	42. Pregnant

Katniss pov

"There's something we need to tell you,"my parents say.

I look at them with my full attention. I look to Prim but she looks just as confused as I do. My parents take a seat on the bed by my feet, my mom takes my hand in hers. "There's no easy way to tell you this, Katniss. And we aren't sure how you'll take the news,"my dad says.

"What is it?"I ask,"what's going on?"

"Katniss, um... we're you and Peeta always, um careful?" My mom asks.

I look at her confused, and I turn bright red as I look down. "Um, yeah... I was on birth control." Why the hell is she asking me about Peeta and I being careful? Especially in front of dad and Prim! This is awkward!

"How long does it last?" She asks.

"A few months." I say looking at her, trying to figure out why she's talking about this with me now. Then she sighs and rests her forehead on her hand.

"There's no easy way of saying this..."

"What is it!"I say becoming frustrated.

My dad sighs and takes my other hand,"Katniss, you're pregnant."

I stare at them shocked. How can I be pregnant? We were careful. "But we-I- we-Peeta-oh..."I stammer. I forgot to redo my birth control. Oh no, this is all my fault. Oh, Peeta I need you.

I burst into tears. My dad wraps his arms around me as I cry into his chest. How could I let this happen? We aren't ready to be parents. I don't know how I could take care of this child. And Peeta isn't even here!

He kisses my forehead and says,"I'm so sorry, Katniss."

I tremble in his arms as the fear crosses me. I can't bring a child into this horrible world. What if the games come back? The child of two victors would for sure be 'picked' for the games.

And there's those Coin supporters out to get me. This world may be a better place, but it is not safe. And Peeta, he still has his flashbacks. And I have those days where I can't even move from my bed. We are unstable. We are the last two people who should have children.

Peeta wants children, I know that but I can't do it. I won't be a good mom. Not even my wonderful parents can help with that. Peeta is going to be so happy. How can I squander his happiness? What kind of a wife would I be if I was just unhappy and ruined his happiness?

How am I going to tell him?

I can't tell him on the phone. It must be in person. But who knows how long he'll be gone?!

I sit up and wipe the tears from my eyes.

"I can't tell him until he gets back,"I say solemnly.

"It would be best if you told him in person,"My mom says.

"I can't do this. I can barely take care of myself! I'm just learning how to deal with my nightmares, with my past! And we're so young. We're only barely 22. And, I can't do this without Peeta by my side. I need my husband."

"He'll be back,"my father says.

"But when?!"I cry.

"When he feels ready." He says holding me.

"What if he's never ready?"I ask, fear taking over me.

"He'll be ready. He loves you. He's your husband after all, he wouldn't just leave you forever. He cares too much."

"I miss him so much."I sigh.

"I know you do, sweetie."He says comforting me with a kiss to my forehead. "But this will be good for the two of you, especially since you'll be having a baby. He'll be even better."

"How am I supposed to even tell him about it?" I ask.

"You just have to say it. I'll tell you a little story. Your mom was so nervous about telling me. She had a little plan on how she was going to tell me, but she was so nervous that she just blurted it out."

"Really?"I say laughing through the tears.

"Yes. She had even tried to bake a little cake. But before she could even get to desert. She had told me. I remember seeing how twitchy she was when I got home. And she was constantly fixing things. Then at dinner, all I did was ask her to pass me the potatoes and she had blurted out that she was pregnant."

I smile at my dad and he wipes my tears.

"I was so happy, I forgot that I even wanted potatoes." He says laughing,"I cried that night as I hugged her. We were both so scared, but we were happy. We didn't know how to be parents, or even what to expect. But we figured it out together, and raised two beautiful, independent, strong, young ladies. And I know you and Peeta will do the same. Don't worry about not knowing anything. You aren't alone in this. Peeta has never been a parent either. And you see, you have your mom and I to teach you and help you. You're going to be a great mother, Katniss."

"You care so much. I've seen it with how you treat Prim. You've already acted like a mom to Prim. I see how much you love her. Now imagine that love ten fold. Your love for your children will be like nothing else you've ever experienced. And I can't really even explain it. But you'll know as soon as you hold it for the first time. You'll do anything for that baby..."

"Peeta is going to be so happy,"I say quietly,"he's always wanted a family. I never even wanted to fall in love, but I did. And I never wanted children, but now I'm pregnant."

The phone starts to ring, so he kisses my forehead and stands to go get it. I close my eyes and rest against the pillows. I can hear my father speaking, he's down the hall where one of the phones are.

"Hello?" He says. "Oh, hello Peeta."

At the sound of my husband's name, I open my eyes and get up from the bed.

"She's not doing very well,"I hear him say in a quieter voice,"she's feeling a little nauseous."

I slowly walk to the office where another phone is and pick it up slowly.

"-is she sick?"Peeta asks sounding worried.

"I think so."

Then Peeta sighs. "I don't know what to do, John. I love her so much and I want to protect her, the only thing is, it's hard to protect her from myself. I want to be with her so badly right now, but I need to get better. And the best thing to do would be to stay here. But it doesn't feel right..." He sounds like he's about to cry.

I silently cry as I listen to him speak his heart.

"Peeta, I know my daughter well. And you know her even better. Do what you think is best for her. But there's something you should know... She's a mess without you here. She's sad and scared. She loves you so much, that the strong leader we all know her as, is nowhere to be found without you here."

"But I-"

"It's your choice, Peeta. Just do what you think is right."

"I'm coming home next month. I can't trust myself yet. I want to be with her so badly, but I can't risk it. I'm doing this for her."

"Can I speak to her?" Peeta asks.

"Sure, let me go get her."

My eyes widen,and I put the phone down carefully. Then slip into the bathroom, hoping that my dad didn't see me. He didn't. I watch as he steps into my room. I open the bathroom door and walk into my room.

"Oh. There you are,"my dad says,"the phone's for you." He hands me the phone and I put it to my ear.

"Hello?"I say lightly.

"Katniss,"Peeta says my name like it's the most beautiful thing in the world.

"Peeta,"I whimper as tears form.

"I miss you so much, and I love you,"he says.

"I love you too, Peeta."I say.

"I heard that you're sick,"he says,"are you okay?"

"I-I-I'm fine,"I lie.

"Katniss, what's wrong? I know you're lying."

"Nothing, I'm fine. I'm just feeling a little sick."I say,"and I miss you."

"I'll be back in a month." He tells me.

I can't wait that long to see him. I start to cry.

"Hey, don't cry,"he says,"before you know it, I'll be back and I'll be okay."

"I love you so much, Peeta,"I say,"don't leave me."

"I won't ever leave you."

* * *

That night, while everyone is asleep, I decide that if he won't came back to me, I'll go to him. I get up out of the bed and grab a bag. I pack everything I'll need. And then I grab my medicine for my throat.

As I'm quietly walking downstairs, I hear a door open. I freeze, hoping whoever it is won't notice me. But they do. Prim whispers,"where are you going?"

"I'm going to see Peeta."

"Katniss, you can't do that! You need to stay here so mom can make sure that you are okay. Plus, there's those people who are after you! What if they attack you?"

"I'll be fine. I have to see him, Prim. You don't understand how much it hurts to be a part. I love him so much, please don't stop me, help me."

"Katniss."

"Prim, I need to do this. I'm go I going whether you'll help me or not."

"Fine. I won't tell mom until she asks. Go."

"Thank you, I love you little duck."

"Love you too. Be safe."

I give her a hug, and then go to the train station where I hop on a train to District 13.


	43. District 13

Katniss pov

The train ride is brutal. I throw up several times and eventually after hours of puking, I fall asleep. An attendant wakes me up at 4 in the morning. "We are here, miss,"she says.

"Thank you,"I yawn.

I get up and gather up my belongings before getting off the train. Not much has changed since the last time I was here. I step off the train platform and pull my jacket closer to my, hoping no one will notice me. It's early so there's only workers here.

I make my way to the main hall. I shiver at the memories that haunt me. I walk up to a sleepy receptionist and ask,"I'm looking for a room. Can you help me?"

"Sure. What is it?" She asks.

"Oh, um I'm not exactly sure what number it is. Can you go by name?"

"Fine. What is the name?"

"I'm looking for Peeta Mellark's room."

"Wait a minute... you're Katniss Everdeen!" She says a little too loudly for my liking. "Yes,"I say glancing around,"can you help me?"

"Yeah, his room is 298. It's on the fifth level to the right."She says pointing to the stairs.

"Thank you."I say.

My nausea gets worse as my walk goes on. By the time I hit the third floor, I have to rush to the bathroom there and throw up. This is so unpleasant. But finally I make it to the fifth floor.

I head down right like she said and look for 298. As I walk down the long claustrophobic hallway, I get more memories of when I would go to my compartment. Finally I come across the number of his room.

I knock on the door and wait for him to answer. The response is quick which means he wasn't sleeping. The moment I see his face, I want to cry. He looks so tired and worn down. But he's beautiful nonetheless.

"Katniss? What are you doing here?"He looks confused and a bit angry.

I push past him and close the door. Instantly I wrap my arms around his waist. "I needed to see you."

"But I hurt you. I'm not okay. You shouldn't be here, Katniss." He says. I can hear the sadness in his voice as he pushes me away. I hesitantly reach for his hand, which he pulls away from me and walks over to the bunk where he covers his face.

It breaks my heart to see him so broken.

A tear rolls down my face as I wrap my hand around my other hand. My fingers playing with my ring. I take a step closer to him and reach out my hand to move his long curls behind his ear, away from his face.

I sit down next to him and rub my hand on his back.

"Peeta..."I start.

"No, Katniss. You need to leave me. I'm not safe."

"Peeta, what's on my left hand?"I ask.

He's silent for a while until he finally answers me. "Your wedding ring."

"Yes. And you know what that means? It means I'm going to stay with you through thick and thin. I won't leave you. We are a team. And you can't push me away, no matter how hard you try."

He starts to cry which breaks my heart even more. My poor husband. He's gone through so much. He deserves so much better. "Peeta, I love you."

He looks up at me with red eyes and tear streaked cheeks. "I love you too, Katniss."He says quietly.

I caress his face with my hand and pull him in for a sweet kiss. He rests his head on my shoulder and I lay my forehead against his. I was going to tell him about the pregnancy now, but he's just not in a good state of mind. It can wait until tomorrow or should I say later today?

He slowly pulls me down to the cot with him. I wrap my arms around his waist and hold on. I'm home. I may not be at my actual home. I may be in a place where many people hate me, but I'm here with Peeta. And that is home.

I press a kiss to his forehead, wrapping him in my comforting embrace. And then close my eyes, exhausted...

I wake up to the sound of a toilet flushing. The bathroom in this small compartment is right next to the cot so you can hear everything. I sit up, my back cracking as I stretch. Even though this cot was very uncomfortable, I got more sleep than I have in the last few weeks.

I walk into the bathroom and see my husband stepping into the shower. I start to undress and climb in the shower behind him. He freezes and says,"I can't do this... I'm sorry Katniss. Not yet." He gets out of the shower, leaving me feeling empty and disappointed.

I quickly take a shower and then when I am dressed I lean against the door and ask,"what's wrong?"

"I can't trust myself and neither should you."

"I do trust you, Peeta. You are my husband. You don't give yourself enough credit." I say softly.

"Katniss I-"

He's cut off by the sound of loud sirens and flashing red lights as the room starts to shake. I look at him with wide eyes and fear. "WARNING: EARTHQUAKE,"a mechanical voice says over and over.

The shaking just gets worse and I fall over landing on my stomach. I scream in horror. Peeta rushes over to me. "Katniss!"He says as he wraps his arms around me and shields me from the drywall fragments falling.

I grip my stomach hoping that our unborn child is okay.

Peeta pulls me under the table right as a piece falls where we are. I scream as Peeta is hit. He groans in pain. I crawl out from the table and reach for him. I drag him under the table with me, holding his head in my lap.

"Peeta,"I cry. He groans in response.

"Are you okay?"He asks me.

"I'm fine. But I need to get you to the hospital, you're hurt."

"I'm fine, it's not like I haven't been through worse." He says with a weak laugh.

He reaches up and wipes my tear,"don't cry,"he says.

I clasp his hand in mine and bring it to my lips. Finally the shaking stops. I lift up Peeta's shirt to look at the damage. He has dark bruises forming on his side. I help him get up as best as I can, and help him down to the hospital.

The whole time he is groaning in pain and telling me how sorry he is. When we finally get there, it is packed. "I can't-"he mutters before he drops to the floor, his weight pulling me down with him.

"Someone please help!" I cry as I hold onto him. Medics rush over to him and lift him onto the stretcher.

They pull him into a room and stop me. "Only family."

"I'm his wife!"

"Oh, sorry, ma'am,"they say and let me pass.

They check his bruises and start treating them. Peeta holds my hand the whole time. He looks at me with half lided eyes as he drifts between consciousness.

"Mrs Mellark, we should do a check on you too." A nurse says to me.

"I'm fi-"I start but then remember my fall onto my stomach and say,"okay, go ahead."

"Where you hit by anything?" She asks.

"No, but I fell and landed on my stomach pretty hard."

"Let me take a look."

She lifts up my shirt and start to press on spots.

"I'm going to do an ultrasound to look at some bleeding." She says before firing up the machine. She presses it to a tender spot on my side. The slowly moves it towards my stomach.

That's when I see it for the first time. A small speck on the screen shaped like a peanut. "Do you know what this is?" She asks pointing to it.

"Yes, I do."I say.

"It's perfectly fine, Mrs Mellark." She says smiling.

"Wait, what is? What's fine?" Peeta asks.

"Our baby," I say with tears in my eyes.

"Did you just say-"

"Yes."

"Katniss-"he says as he starts to cry. I walk over to where he is laying and wrap my arms around him.

"I'm pregnant, Peeta,"I whisper to him.

"But how- we had..." He trails off.

I look up and notice that the nurse isn't in the room anymore.

"I must have forgotten to renew my birth control..."

"But you don't want children,"he says worried.

"Yes, but it's a little too late now... And I'm okay,"I say,"I'm scared, but as long as I have you, I'll be fine."

"I'm sorry, Katniss. This is all my fault. I did this to you, and now we can't go back."He says looking away from me.

"No, don't think like that, Peeta." I say grabbing his face with both my hands,"it takes two to make a baby."

He sighs.

"Aren't you happy?" I ask him. I would have thought that he would for sure be happy about this. I know that Peeta has always wanted children. He's dreamed of a family that I didn't want to give him.

"Of course I'm happy, I've always wanted children. But you don't,and I don't want you to be miserable."

I lean in and kiss him.

"I love you, Peeta. And I know you'll be a wonderful father."I say.

"I love you too,"he says. Then he hesitantly places a hand on my stomach and allows himself to smile. And I find myself smiling too.


	44. Peeta's love

Katniss pov

Peeta lays with his head near my stomach. His hand is on my stomach and he says,"I can't believe this is real. I never thought I'd see the day..."

I smile at my husband and run my fingers through his hair. He looks up at me and says,"I love you, Katniss."

"I love you too Peeta."

He crawls up until he's even with my face. His lips descend to mine for a sweet but passionate kiss. My fingers wrap in his hair and pull at his roots. He moans into my mouth as his hand grasps my hip.

I wrap my legs around his hips and grind up against his growing erection. Then he stops me, panting. "We can't..."

"Why not? We're married, aren't we?" I say.

"Yes... but I don't trust myself."He says, closing his eyes.

I cup his face with my hands and say,"Peeta, look at me."

He slowly opens his beautiful ocean blue eyes and looks at me. "I trust you."

He lets out a sigh, but I'm not going to let him get away so easily. I pull his face to mine and attack his lips. He stills at first, but soon his lips start to move with mine. I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him to me.

"Please Peeta. I need you."

"You have me."

I reach back and grab the bottom of his shirt. I pull it over his head and marvel at his glorious abdomen. He starts to suck at my neck, leaving marks of his lips.

He reaches for my shirt and pulls it over my head. He expertly unclasps my bra and throws it back over his shoulder. His hands move over my breasts and I gasp when I notice how tender they are.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"I'm fine... they're just a little tender."

He nods and moves a little more gently. He presses a kiss to my stomach then removes my pants and underwear. I gasp when I feel his fingers. Then his lips. I grab his hair and moan.

I bite my lip and then scream as I explode.

Peeta climbs up my body and kisses me. There's something about the taste of me on his lips that drives me more. I bite his lip before I flip him over, so that I'm on top.

"Fuck, Katniss,"Peeta groans as I palm him through his pants. I slip them off of his hips and instantly dive down. He hits the back of my throat, causing me to choke a little. But I take it.

He moans my name again and again. I can tell he's close.

That's when he stops me.

"Katniss,"he says panting,"if you do anymore, I won't last-"

I press one last kiss to his tip then I crawl up his body. Peeta wraps his arms around me, pulling me close to him.

He lines himself up with my entrance and slowly pushes into me. I gasp and moan his name as I feel him filling me. He thrusts up into me deeply, causing me to close my eyes in pleasure.

"Peeta!" I moan,"harder!"

He obliges as he thrusts deeper than ever before. He flips us over, taking charge. His hands grasp my hips tighter, leaving marks. He bites my lip before thrusting his tongue into my mouth.

I grasp at his hair and wrap my legs so tightly around him, that my heels are going to leave bruises. That's when my grasp on him tightens and I scream in pleasure as my second orgasm is ripped from me.

Peeta comes with a grunt and a gasp of my name. Then he collapses on top of me. I run my fingers through his sweaty hair and press a kiss to his forehead.

"God, Katniss,"he says exhausted,"that was amazing."

We lay in a peaceful silence until I feel pressure on my bladder and I have to pee. When I walk out of the bathroom, Peeta is sleeping, sprawled out on the bed in all his glory.

He truly is a masterpiece.

I crawl into bed with him, and curl up next to his side. His arms come around me and pull me closer to him. He leans down and kisses me on my nose. "I love you, so much Katniss." He says.

"I love you too, Peeta."

He grabs my face and kisses me passionately on the lips. We pull away at the sound of knocking. Peeta groans and gets up to put on pants. I pull the covers up around me and look at him confused.

"I got it,"he says,"it's just the nurses coming to take me to therapy."

When he opens the door, he freezes and I hear the voice. The voice of my mother and father. And they are very angry. I reach for the robe and wrap it around me before they come in.

Peeta tries to stop them but they push through. I'm just getting it tied when they come in. "Both of you, sit!" My mom says. Peeta and I both listen.

"Do you know how worried we were?! You just left without a note! You could have gotten hurt! Especially with well, you know what!" My mom says angrily.

"Peeta knows..."I say.

"Oh, you told him?"

"Of course I told him! He's my husband! It's his child!" I say a little angrily,"and you know what? I had a right to leave and visit my husband. You keep me locked up in the house, I understand when I was healing but I'm fine now and I needed to see him. I don't live with you anymore, I could leave when I want to. I'm an adult and I'm married. I'm not your concern anymore! I'm his now."

"Katniss,"my dad says softly as he places a hand on my shoulder,"we are your parents. We will always be concerned about you. Whether you're our problem or not. And the fact that you left in the middle of the night without telling us to a district that doesn't exactly like you, had us worried. And yes, you are still healing."

I sigh and sit down on the bed.

"I'm sorry, dad... I just need Peeta. It hurts me to be apart." I meet Peeta's gaze, and all I see is a mixture of guilt and love.

"I understand...,"my dad says,"I love your mom just as much. I would be nothing without her. I always hated leaving her to go to the mines. Afraid that one day would be my last and I'd leave her and then we had you and Prim, and I learned a new kind of love. A love that you'll soon learn. And it took all I had to leave you two in the morning."

That's when I start to cry. I don't know why I'm crying, but I am. And I don't try to stop it. I just cry. My dad wraps his arms around me and pulls me into him. He strokes my hair and kisses my forehead like he would when I was younger and had a nightmare.

I feel him motion to Peeta, who comes over and takes my dad's place holding me. Peeta wipes my tears and then places a soft kiss on my lips. "I love you,"he whispers to me.

"I love you too,"I whisper back.

Peeta places a hand on my stomach which causes me to smile a little.

My dad says,"I want you to get dressed, and then meet us at the cafeteria, okay?"

I nod and he and my mom leave.

A/N so I just wanna talk about symbolism for a sec. Some of you might have caught it, but for those of you who didn't, I want to touch on it. I want to highlight the symbolism of her father holding her and then him having Peeta holding her.

So, obviously her father is a very big figure in her life. She respects him and lives him so much. And he was such a great father to her and continues to be. So as he holds her like he did when she was a child, he has a small realization that she's not his to hold anymore. He's passed on his responsibility of taking care of her to Peeta. It's like giving her away on her wedding day, but in a different way.

So the shift from her father to Peeta, is him giving his daughter up. And obviously that is a hard thing to do, but he knows that Peeta will take care of her and he sees how much she loves Peeta so he's okay with it.

I hope you enjoyed that little symbolic part.

Also if you ever need me to explain a part or just want to know my thinking behind it, leave a review and I will get back to it. I also like to bring a lot of symbolism into my work, so keep an eye out for that! Thank you!


	45. Peeta will be alright

Katniss pov

Peeta and I meet my parents in the cafeteria. My dad smiles as at me and Peeta as we sit down with them. As they all dig into their breakfast, I look on in disgust. My stomach has not been too kind to me lately.

Peeta looks at me with a worried expression. "I'll be fine. I just can't stomach any of this."

"Katniss, please eat something,"he pleads.

I shake my head. "I can't."

My father sighs. "Your mother was the same way. Just as stubborn. She could it stomach one thing..." with that he gets up and walks up to the counter. We watch as he talks to the cafeteria lady. She leaves for a moment and returns with a bowl that she hands to my father.

"Here, try this,"he says plopping the bowl down in front of me.

I look down to find oatmeal with apple chunks in it. It smells delicious. Peeta hands me a spoon. I take it from him and hesitantly put my spoon into the bowl. However, when I put it in my mouth, I find that I don't feel sick at all.

So eat more, and more until it's all gone. Peeta smiles at me and I can see that he's taking a mental note of this.

"How did you know?" Peeta asks my father in amazement.

"I went through two pregnancies already, and believe me I was just as confused and lost as you, Peeta. But now I know, and now I'll teach you what I know."

"Thank you,"Peeta says.

A nurse walks up to us and says,"excuse me, Mr Mellark? It's time for your appointment."

He looks at me apologetically and says,"I'm sorry. I have to go but I'll be back in an hour." He leans in and presses a kiss to my lips and caresses my face. "I love you."

"I love you too."I say. He keeps looking back at me sadly as he walks away. I don't know why, but it makes me want to cry. I just got my husband back and now they're taking him away from me.

I sigh as I rest my head on my hands and soon start to dad rubs soothing circles on my back until I calm down some.

"Peeta is going to be fine,"he reassures me.

That brings me back to the rebellion. It was after I was taken to thirteen.

I was sitting in my room alone, worried about Peeta. I had heard that he was taken by the capitol. I could only imagine the horrible things Snow was doing to him. But my mind could never think of something as horrible as hijacking his memories.

My dad walked into my room with a fruit hidden under his jacket. Once a smuggler, always a smuggler I guess. He sat down next to me and handed me the fruit. A plum, a rare delicacy.

"I was able to trade with a guard who goes above ground. He got me this. I know you like them."

"Thanks dad, but I'm not hungry,"I said.

"Thinking about him, huh?"

I don't even have to question who 'him' is. I just nod.

"I figured that much... Katniss, they'll get him back. I promise you. You made a deal with Coin, and you've been holding to that."

"But what if they're too late? What if by the time they get to him, Snow has already tortured him to death!"

"I have a feeling he's going to keep him alive."

"How do you know that."

"I don't. But it would make sense. Snow took Peeta as leverage to you. He knows that you love him."

"I don't love him."

"Katniss, if you didn't love him, you would be focused on the rebellion, not crying in your quarters over him. I mean at first I thought it was all an act, but I watched as it became less of an act and more of a reality. I watched you fall in love."

I closed my eyes and leaned into my father as he held me.

"Peeta is going to be fine,"he reassured me...

I'm brought out of my thoughts by my mom.

"Katniss?"

"Huh?"

"Here,"my mom hands me a tissue which I take thankfully.

"He'll be fine. District thirteen won't hurt him. I watched over his treatments during the rebellion. And they treated him very well."

I nod but their words do nothing to calm me.

"Katniss, worrying isn't good for the baby,"my mother says.

I sigh. I can't help it. I'm a horrible mother. I'm already hurting it and its not even bigger than a peanut! What kind of a mother am I? How the hell am I supposed to take care of it?

Without even realizing it, I start hyperventilating. It's only when my father places a hand on my arm and asks,"Katniss, what's wrong?"

But I just shake my head and freak out even more. My parents both get up and look at me with concerned faces. My mom rushes to my side as my father catches me before I fall from my chair.

"Delilah, what's wrong with her?" He asks.

"She's having a panic attack."

I hear them speaking but I don't register their words as I hyperventalate more. That's when everything turns. I go limp and everything goes black...

* * *

I'm awake, but I keep my eyes closed as I lay there. My hands grasp something soft and coarse at the same time. Hospital sheets. I open my eyes to find three sets of eyes starring back at me.

"Katniss!"Peeta says. His worry filled eyes search mine for an explanation.

"Peeta,"I say weakly as I sit up. His arms are around me in an instant. He holds his forehead against mine and moves his hands up to my face to cup it.

"What happened?"He whispers to me.

"I-I don't know... I just got to thinking and..and then..."

"You had me so worried."

I want to argue with him that he had me worried but I just don't have the energy to. Instead I ask about the baby,"the baby?"

"It's fine,"my mom says.

I nod and that's when my father speaks,"we're getting you out of here as soon as the nurse comes back."

I nod and sigh as I lean back against the bed frame. That's when the nurse walks in and says,"alright, Mrs Mellark you are all fee to go."

"Thank you,"Peeta says shaking her hand.

He helps me up and says,"let's go home."


	46. Home

A/N I redid this chapter because I made a really huge blunder that thankfully someone caught.

Katniss pov

The train ride seems like it takes forever. I lean against Peeta and end up falling asleep in his arms. When I wake up again, it's to the light swaying of Peeta carrying me. I look up to see that we are in the victors village.

"You didn't have to do that,"I say.

"You need your sleep. Plus its like nothing. I use to carry bags of flour all the time at the bakery."

"Here, I can walk now,"I say as I try to get up, but Peeta holds on tighter.

"I like carrying you,"he says.

As much as I want to argue, I'm tired so I just accept it. He presses a kiss to my nose when we are standing on the porch. My mom opens the door for us and then says,"goodnight you two."

"Goodnight,"we say in unison.

Peeta carries me upstairs to our room and places me on the bed. It's so nice to be back home in our own bed. Peeta strips off his shirt and plops onto the bed next to me. For moment we just stare at each other.

He smiles and says,"I'm so happy to be home."

"Me too."

He tangles his fingers in my hair and slowly kisses me. Our kiss intensifies as we move closer to each other. I open my mouth wider to allow him more access. I've missed my husband so much.

I move my hand to his bulge but he stops me.

"Let me take care of you,"he says.

He laces our fingers and holds my hands above my head as he moves down my body with his mouth. He doesn't even bother with my shirt, he just goes directly for my pants. Something about him unbuttoning my pants with his mouth is extremely hot.

He slowly lowers my pants off my hips and bites down on my underwear. He teases me by running a long lick across my underwear. I bite my lip and grind up against his face.

But he holds my hips down. Then he lowers my underwear. I'm so wet with need and anticipation. "Fuck,"Peeta whispers against my navel.

He graces his fingers over my clit as he moves them to my center. Then he plunges two fingers inside of me. I scream in pleasure and he nips right under my breast. "Peeta!" I gasp and bite my lip.

He moves down and his lips meet my clit. My fingers grasp his hair as I pull him closer and cry his name. I look down and make eye contact with his beautiful blue eyes.

"Peeta!"I cry out as I come around his fingers and on his mouth.

He moves up to kiss me and it's so exotic! The taste of me on his lips sends chills down my back.

He quickly takes off his pants and boxers, needing me just as much as I need him. I wrap my arms around his neck and scratch at his back as he pushes into me. His force drives me to the edge and soon I'm coming again just like before. Only this time it's not his fingers I'm coming to.

He thrusts up into me one last time before he screams my name and collapses on top of me. He is quick to roll over and holds me in his arms, kissing me on the cheek. "I love you so much, Katniss,"He says as he runs his fingers through my hair.

I hum contently against his chest and then say,"I love you too."

I feel so at home, laying here in Peeta's arms. His love wraps around me like a warm blanket. He locks my lips in one more kiss before he falls asleep.

* * *

The rush of nausea is what wakes me up in the morning. Peeta is still asleep as I hop out of bed and rush to the bathroom. It's not long before the sound of my retching wakes him up.

He holds my hair back as I continue to vomit into the toilet. When I finish and sit back against the tub, I say,"not the most graceful morning."

He cracks a smile and says,"even in these ungraceful moments I still find you beautiful."

"Really? I find me completely disgusting."

He laughs and then gets up saying that he'll let me get ready. After I'm done taking a shower and brushing my teeth, I go downstairs expecting to have breakfast already made, but when I get down, it's not.

"Are you making breakfast?"I ask.

Peeta shakes his head,"I have a different idea. Greasy Sae opened up the restaurant downtown. I thought we'd go there this morning."

I ponder this for a moment. As much as I hate going out, it's Greasy Sae, one of the sweetest ladies I know. She fed me growing up. She wasn't a bad cook. It's nice that she has a restaurant now.

"Okay,"I say.

He smiles and takes my hand. As we walk down the porch. Haymitch sits outside his house on his porch. "Hey! Next time you two fuck, close the window! I don't want to hear your screams!"

My eyes grow wide as I blush. Peeta just nods and says,"good morning to you too, Haymitch."

When we arrive at Sae's restaurant, Peeta takes me to a table. Greasy Sae comes over to our table and hugs both of us. "How are my favorite star crossed lover's?"

Peeta smiles and says,"we're doing great, how are you Sae?"

"Just fine an' dandy,"she says cheerfully,"so what can I get for ya?"

Peeta and I look over the menu and I decide on biscuits and gravy. Peeta gets bacon and eggs. I'm so hungry that when I get the meal I scarf it down. Peeta smiles, glad to see me eat.

After we finish eating, we sit there at the table and Peeta takes both my hands in his. "Isn't it nice to see the district being rebuilt?"

"Yeah," I say.

"So, I think I'm ready to go back to the bakery. It's been so long since I went. I feel bad for my poor employees, they work so hard."

"Are you sure Peeta? I mean are you alright to go back?"

"Yes. And I think I'm going back today."

"Okay, whatever you need to do I'll be here for you."

"I love you,"he says.

"I love you too, Peeta."

"Always."


	47. Dinner

Katniss pov

I wake up to Peeta getting out of bed. He's going to the bakery this morning. After deciding that I can't fall back asleep, o get up with him and follow him into the bathroom. He's in the shower when I get in there. I sneak into the bathroom quietly and hold back my laughter as I hear him singing. Peeta isn't exactly the best singer, but I love to hear it nonetheless.

He also tends to dance while he sings which is ever funnier. I smile to myself as I strip from my sleep clothes and slowly open the shower. He flinches when my hands touch his back.

"You scared me!"He says laughing.

I smile at him and say,"I just couldn't resist."

He rolls his eyes playfully and then leans down to kiss me under the water. "Good morning, beautiful,"he says.

"Morning my rock star,"I joke.

"Are you coming to the bakery with me?"He asks.

"Yeah, I couldn't fall back asleep so I figured if I'm going to be up I might as well get food."

He laughs and says,"I should have known."

"And I want to spend some time with my husband,"I add.

"That's what I thought,"he jokes which earns him a slap on the chest. However that just causes him to laugh harder. He wraps his arms around me and kisses my cheek.

"I'm excited to go back." He says truthfully.

"I'm sure they could definitely use the help,"I say.

"My poor employees. They are so wonderful. They deserve a few nights off. Maybe a dinner with everyone and their families?"

"Sure,"I say.

He smiles and says,"I'll let them know."

After our shower, we get ready and then go to the bakery. No one is there yet which makes me feel a little better. Peeta makes us fresh cheese buns and bacon. Around the time we finish eating is when Rory arrives.

I'm so happy Peeta gave him this job. We've become so close to Rory. "Peeta you're back!" He says surprised.

"Yeah. I'm back. And I want to thank you, Rory. You've done so much for the bakery."

"Oh it's no biggy, Peeta,"Rory says.

"I'm going to close the bakery early tonight and you and your family are invited for dinner."

"Oh cool! Thanks man,"he says.

"You all deserve it."

When Tyler arrives I tell him about the dinner too.

While Peeta does things in his office I make a list of what we need for tonight. Rory, Hazel, Posy, Vick, my parents, Prim, Tyler, and his girlfriend are all coming over. "In going to go to the store so I can get the ingredients,"I tell him after he finishes telling me all that we'll need.

"Okay, be safe,"he says as he kisses me.

When I step out of the office, the smell of cheese buns brings me to the kitchen. I walk in a locate the freshly made cheese buns. I moan in satisfaction as I take a bite and savor it. Then I take another and another until I've eaten 6.

I hear Peeta laughing and that pulls me from my trance. I look up to see both Rory and Tyler staring at me with wide eyes.

Peeta just laughs harder until his arms are wrapped around my waist and he says,"don't worry boys, it's okay. She's pregnant."

"Oh damn, really?" Rory asks.

"Yeah,"we say in unison.

"Wow congrats,"Tyler says.

"Thanks."

I kiss Peeta goodbye and then I walk out to the street where the grocery store is. I'm walking down an isle looking for carrots when I hear my name. I turn to find none other than Johanna who is about 6 months pregnant.

"Brainless! Where have you been?"

"I have a lot to tell you, Johanna,"I tell her.

"Oh,"she looks worried but tries to hide it,"okay."

"Can you come tonight for dinner?"I ask.

She nods. "With Gale?"

"Of course,"I say. "So how are you feeling?" I ask changing the subject.

"Horny." She says nonchalantly.

"Johanna!"I gasp.

"I'm just kidding Brainless, even after being married you're still super innocent."

"Am not."

She just laughs.

After getting all that we need, I stop by the bakery to tell Peeta I'm going home. Johanna and I make it to my house quickly.

"What's up?" She asks with a serious face.

"Johanna... I'm pregnant."

"Oh shit." Is all she says.

I'm silent.

"What does Peeta think?"

"He's excited. He's always wanted children. Peeta is great with children."

"True. I've seen the way he acts with children. His eyes light up."

"Yeah. He'll be a great father. He deserves to be a father."

"He deserves much better than any of us. He was always the good one."

I agree with her in every way. Peeta is the best one of all of us. The most pure even after everything he's been through. He cares so much. He still sees the world as wonderful. He loves with all of his heart. I wish I could give him everything he deserves.

"You got lucky, brainless. You got a good one."

I nod in agreement.

Soon Peeta comes home with baked bread. He sets down the bread and wraps his arms around me. "Hello beautiful,"he says and kisses me.

I smile and kiss him back eagerly.

"You love birds are disgusting." She says.

Peeta laughs and shakes his head.

There's a knock on my door so Peeta releases me and goes to answer it. I hear the sound of my parents and Prim. I walk out of the kitchen and to the entry way. My mom hands me a dish and says that it must be heated up before served. I thank her and put it in the kitchen.

My father wraps his arms around me and kisses my forehead. "Hello, Katniss."

"Hey, dad."

"I brought you something,"he says as he pulls something out of his pockets. Their tubers. Katniss roots. "I found them and thought that you could plant them."

"Thank you so much dad,"I say as I wrap my arms around his neck.

"Still remember what I told you when you were little?"

"I can survive, as long as I can find myself."

"Exactly." He says and then gestures to my stomach,"we'll have to teach this little one all our tricks when the time comes."

I smile and nod,"yeah, but in the mean time we can teach its father."

He laughs, understanding Peeta's lack of survival skills.

"I suppose you're right."

Just then Peeta walks up and shakes my father's hand. "Good to see you, John,"he says and my dad smiles back and claps him on the shoulder.

"What a fine day, Peeta,"he says,"you know I want to take you to the woods. I know that's not exactly your area of skill, but I'd like to take you there."

"Okay,"Peeta says but I can see through his facade. He's terrified. A day alone with my dad in the woods, not exactly the best thing for Peeta.

I wrap my arms around Peeta and whisper,"don't worry, he won't hurt you." Peeta smiles and nods his head.

"Come on, let's go to the kitchen."

My mom is already helping move food from the kitchen to the dinning room. I go to help but she tells me to relax. So I sigh and walk into the dining room. I take a seat between Prim and Peeta.

It's then that I realize how many people are here. Peeta sits at the head of my table, I'm right next to him, then Prim, and Rory, Posy, Vick, Tyler, his girlfriend, Hazel, Gale, Johanna, my mother, and my father.

Peeta takes my hand in his, and pulls my fingers to his lips to kiss them. Peeta turns to everyone and says,"I want to thank you all. For all that you have done for us. I know these last few weeks haven't been easy."

"We really appreciate all that you have done for us,"I add. Everyone smiles and I look to my husband who looks so happy surrounded by everyone. He glances over at my and smiles. Then he winks and turns back to the others, but his grip on my hand tightens, letting me know he loves me.


	48. Almost caught

WARNING TO THIS CHAPTER!

Peeta pov

I can barely keep my eyes open. None of my employees were able to close tonight because of important reasons. So I stayed all day. From 5am to 10pm. And I am exhausted. I'm normally here in the morning but I'm usually gone by 3 so I can spend time with Katniss. And if I don't go in the morning it's usually from 4 to close. I haven't worked an all day shift in a long time.

It's almost closing time which makes me happy because I can clean up quickly and then go home to Katniss. If I didn't have all these deliveries tomorrow morning I would close up early. But I must finish getting everything ready.

I look at the time. 9:45.

I hear the door open, so I walk from around the corner of the counter to the front counter. "Sorry, I'll be with you-" I stop when I see the smiling face of my wife.

"Hey,"I say smiling at her.

She rounds the corner of the counter and wraps her arms around me. "You're alone, right?"

"Um yeah...why?"He asks a little sceptical.

"Well, I had an idea..." She says. I raise a tired eyebrow but before I know it, she's on her knees and my pants are around my ankles.

"Katniss-"I start but her lips are already around me. She feeds on me like a life line. And I'm at a loss for words instantly. Her lips fee so magnificent that I forget where we are. I grip the counter in front of me and thrust into her waiting mouth.

She unzips her top exposing her perfect breasts.

"God, Katniss,"I say.

She also unzips her pants and starts to push them down her thighs. A noise leaves my mouth that I can't describe. I've noticed that her sex drive has increased lately, but I wasn't expecting this. My eyes nearly pop out of my head when I see her hand move down between her legs.

"Shit!"I gasp.

She giggles and sucks harder. I'm about to lose my shit when I hear the door open. My eyes shoot up to see my worst nightmare has come true...again. Her father walks in.

All the blood drains from my body instantly. He smiles and walks towards the counter, completely oblivious to what is going on behind it. "John,"I say surprised,"what are you doing here?"

"I found something that is very important to Katniss. Her pearl. It fell off of her ring and got caught in my game bag. It must have happened when she was skinning the meat. I stopped by the house but she wasn't home. Then I remembered her saying something about coming to the bakery."

"Oh,"I say and glance down to find Katniss just as wide eyed as me. That's when I see a sinister look cross her face. Oh shit, this can't be good.

"Peeta?"he says.

"Oh, sorry I'm just kinda tired."I lie.

"Yeah I heard you were here all day."

"Mmhmm,"I say not really paying much attention to my father-in-law.

"Do you know where Katniss is?"He asks.

Right as I'm about to answer, Katniss starts sucking. "I-!"I say with a lot of emphasis as I'm surprised by her lips. I get a weird look from her father and I try to bite back my cries and speak in a normal voice.

"She's in the bathroom. She wasn't feeling well..." I say.

"Oh I'll just wait until she's done." He says.

I look down to find Katniss a bit panicked. Oh God if he caught us again, I'm sure I would die this time.

"Oh um... why don't you take a seat. I'll get you a drink and tell her you're here."

"Oh I can get the drink. Are they back there-"

"Oh no!"I holding up my hand. "I mean, I got it. Relax John."

"Okay..."He says and takes a seat at one of the tables. Katniss slowly starts to zip up my pants and picks up her clothes. I find her dad looking at me so I try to distract him as much as I can as Katniss sneaks into the kitchen. She crawls to the door and I open it.

As soon as the door is open, she stands and puts her clothes back on. She makes eye contact with me and blushes. "Sorry, I didn't expect him to come."

I us my hand to lift her chin and kiss her lips. "Up until our interruption, I enjoyed it very much."

She smiles and says,"I'll finish you off later." She gives me a devious smile.

I smile at her and then grab her dad a drink. She walks out the other door that leads to the hallway. I walk out and act surprised to see Katniss.

"Feeling better, sweetie? Peeta said you're not feeling well."Her dad says.

"Much,"she says nodding.

"Well, your pearl came off of your ring. I thought you might want it."

"Oh! Of course! Thank you so much dad!" She says hugging him. I would have cried when I saw it was gone."

"I remembered how important it was for you. I would hate for you to lose it."

"I'll fix it tomorrow morning,"I tell her.

She smiles at me. "Well, I should get home to your mother,"her father says.

"Thanks again, dad,"she says. As soon as he is gone she lets out a sigh of relief,that was close."

"Katniss he almost caught us!"I say distressed.

"Yeah that was too close." She says.

"Next time, let me at least lock up behind you."

"Sorry, can I make up for it?" She gives my a devious smile.

"Lets get home first,"I say winking at my little devil. I don't know what has gotten into her lately!

She kisses me and says,"I'll be waiting."


	49. The Break of Dawn

Katniss pov

I wake up with ragged breathing and my heart pumping so fast it feels like it's going to hop right out of my chest. It was just a nightmare, I tell myself... only it wasn't. This actually happened. It was a nightmare about when Peeta was hijacked. I look over at my boy with the bread sleeping peacefully. I'm surprised my screams didn't wake him up. Normally they do, but he had a long day at the bakery so I don't blame him for being so tired.

I stroke his soft cheek and press a kiss to his forehead. Then I run my fingers through his hair lovingly. He grunts in his sleep, snoring even louder after that. He only snores this loud when he is really tired or sick. I smile at him then slowly make my way out from under the covers. It's the break of dawn. Perfect for hunting. I need to clear my mind anyways.

I quickly scribble out a note for Peeta. He'll probably sleep in late today. I might even be back before he wakes. I just don't want to scare him but I want to be out before he wakes or else he'd never let me go.

I swear he is so overprotective sometimes.

I slip on some hunting pants big enough to accommodate my growing stomach and a sweater. Then I put on my father's old hunting jacket. It barely zips. Very soon I won't be able to even close it. The I braid my hair and quickly grab a cheese bun to eat on my way out.

The walk is familiar and it brings back good memories. Like when dad and I would walk into the woods on chilling spring mornings. Or warm summer evening when we would be returning home from the lake. I miss days like that. I can't wait to bring my own children out here.

In a way I already am.

Now that I'm a little more...limited, I take a break halfway through the path between what use to be the fence and the cabin.

The morning mist is still on the lake when I get to it. It's so beautiful that I get lost in it. I haven't been out here in a while. I crouch down buy it and examine the shore line. Katniss tubers are spurting up at the edge.

I close my eyes and take in the feel of my surroundings. The breeze is cool and the water my fingers touch is chilly. The smell of trees fills my nose with each gust of wind. And the song of birds echo in my ears.

That's when I start to sing.

I haven't sung in a while.

The birds hush their own song to listen. Something I only thought happened when my dad sang.

His familiar voice brings me out of my trance.

"Beautiful, Katniss,"he says in his deep cozy voice. Just like when I was little. His hand lands on my shoulder as he brings me into a warm embrace. "Thank you, dad,"I say into his chest.

"Only a voice as beautiful as yours could bring the world to peace."

The movement in my stomach pulls the thought away from my mind as I was about to speak. My father must feel it too because he chuckles and says,"looks like you have yourself an early bird."

"I guess it's a little bit expected when your father is a baker and is a hunter."

"Speaking of Peeta, does he know you're out here?"He asks.

"Not exactly. I left before he woke up, but I left him a note. He'd probably freak out and not let me go. He acts like I'm dying, not pregnant!"

"He just cares about you and your child. I use to freak out just as much as he did when I found out tour mother was pregnant with you. I was a little bit better with Prim but not so much. He's new to this whole father thing. It's expected."

"Well he needs to chill a bit because he freaks out if I go alone."

"I actually agree with him on that,"my father says.

"Dad!"I say annoyed.

"You're a strong girl and you don't need anyone to watch out for you. But it would make me feel better if you went hunting with someone." He says.

I sigh and look down at my stomach. I don't like being pregnant.

"Fine..."I say.

"Thank you,"he says,"now let's hunt."

I follow my dad down our paths as we hunt. We each shoot a couple of birds and decide that that is all today has to offer us. Hunting is becoming more of a sport now that we don't need it to survive. Although I do crave some fresh meat from time to time. And I know Peeta enjoys the fresh squirrels I shoot.

But we try to limit our killings. Even the forest is still trying to mend itself after the war. My dream comes back into my mind as I skin and pluck the bird.

"Something on your mind, Katniss?" My father asks.

"Just a dream I had."

"Nightmare?"He asks.

I nod. "Yes, except this one was real. It was about Peeta's hijacking."

"Does he still have flashbacks?"

"Yeah...We don't know if they will ever go away. But they seem to be farther and farther apart."

"Just be careful, okay? I know you love him, but if he ever has a flashback and tries to kill him you have to protect yourself. And that could mean hurting him. Especially now that you have a baby on the way."

"I hate Snow. How could he do that to him. He was the only good person to ever win the games. Now he's not even himself all the time."

"It's a horrible tragedy,"my father agrees.

Glancing out the window, I say,"he'll be waking soon of not already. I should be going."

"Let my walk with you,"he says smiling at me. Pride and love shines in the eyes of my father as we walk back into town.

A/N a cute little chapter for y'all. So I've decided to story Outskirts of Panem. I feel like it had a really good plot but the writing is just absolutely horrible so I've decided to completely start from scratch. I wish this is one I would have put off doing because I absolutely love the story behind it, but I was too immature in writing so it was really bad, but hopefully this time it will be more detailed and complete. If you haven't read it, I don't recommend reading the original. But if you have read it, well I'll just straight up apologize. So please keep an eye out for the new and updated story for it! Thanks guys


	50. Gone

Katniss pov

I wake up in a panic. The nightmares never leave me alone. The images stay in my mind even as I stare into the darkness awake. Everything horrible I've ever done to Peeta. His words echo in my mind. _Mutt. Lier. Murderer. _

And it's all true. I don't deserve him. I'm a mutt. He deserves to be happy. He deserves better than me. He deserves peace. If only I would have let him go. He could have been happy with someone like Delly. Someone good for him. Someone who could make him happy.

The words of my inner demons fight with me. _You should have eaten the berries and died like you were supposed to. He could have been happy. Married a girl who could give him everything he deserves. But no, he is stuck with you. Selfish you. He'll never get better. You hold him back from the life he should have._

I stumble out of the bed as I bite back tears. I glance at Peeta, who is sleeping peacefully. I fall into the closet, my old hiding spot. I cry in silence, curled up in the corner of the cold dark closet.

I have to get out of here.

I have to let him go.

I slip off my nightgown and put on my warm hunting clothes. I tell myself that this needs to be done. I watch for a moment as he sleeps peacefully. Without me. See, he already doesn't need me.

Maybe this will give him a chance to see that he will be better off with someone else. I press a kiss to his forehead, but that's all. I don't write a note. I don't leave any clue to what in doing.

For Peeta.

I leave my hunting gear. I leave everything. I just run.

I don't know how long I run for, but it's cold and my lungs burn. When I finally look where I'm at, I find that I'm well into the woods. And honestly, I'm not quite sure where I am.

Good.

This is what I deserve.

I deserve to freeze alone out here.

* * *

Peeta pov

I wake a little cold. Normally I have the heat of Katniss as she lays on my chest, but she's not there. I feel around in the bed to find it empty. I open my eyes and find that I'm not mistaken.

Maybe she went hunting again or she could just be in the bathroom. I get up and walk to the bathroom to find it as empty as my bed. Normally she leaves a not by the bed if she goes hunting.

I look to see if it fell on the floor but I come up empty. Where the hell could she be? I slip on some clothes and go downstairs and I find something that shakes my whole world.

Her hunting gear is here.

But her shoes are gone and there's some blood on the floor by her bow that lays on the floor forgotten. My heart pounds faster than before and my eyes widen.

I run out the door and pray she's where I hope she is. I don't bother knocking on the door. Her parents look surprised when I burst in. I can't imagine that I look very sane. Then it occurs to me. The blood. Did I do something and I don't remember?

"Peeta what's wrong?"Her mother asks.

"Katniss- where is she?"I ask frantically.

"We haven't seen her...Peeta-what happened?"He dad asks surprisingly calm.

"I-I don't know..."

"Did you have a flashback?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. I don't remember anything. I woke up this morning and I was alone in bed. No note, no nothing. Her boots were gone and there was some blood near her bow, but it was untouched. I-I I'm scared. I don't know if I did anything to hurt her or the baby."

"Listen Peeta,"he says placing both of his hands on my shoulders,"you need to stay calm. We don't want you to go into a flashback. I swear to you, we will find her. I know my daughter well, and so do you. Between the two of us, we'll find her."

I take a deep breath and nod. He's right. "Thank you, John."

Her mother holds Prim as she starts to cry, and honestly it's taking everything I have not to break down right now. John grabs his bow and slips on his boots.

"We should tell Haymitch,"I tell him. He nods in agreement.

We burst into his house and shake him awake.

"What? What is it boy?"He asks a little angry.

"Katniss is gone."

He looks shocked. "Gone? What do you mean she's gone?"

"Gone! I woke up and she had vanished! Haymitch I don't know where she is!" I say losing my temper for a moment.

He places a hand on my chest and pushes me back slightly. "Whoa there boy. Calm down, we'll find Sweetheart. She can't be that far. She's pregnant for God's sake."

"I hope you're right."

"Let' ,"John says.

Haymitch follows us out the door. "We should check the forest."I say.

"That's what I was thinking. I know that forest like the back of my hand. And I know that Katniss finds peace out there."

"Are you kidding me? That forest is huge!"Haymitch complains.

"She's gotta be in there,"I say.

"The cabin! She probably ran there,"her father says,"come on I'll show you the way."

We follow him to the forest. It's colder out here. I shiver and pray that she's keeping warm. I spot something red against the frost. It's blood. Like the blood in the house.

"Hey!"I scream to the others. "I found blood!"

"She's gotta be near!" Haymitch yells back.

We make it to the cabin, but she's no where to be found. East of the cabin I find more blood.

_Please be okay, Katniss._

A/N so some of you might be wondering why she would just leave if they're married or why she didn't once think about the baby during this chapter. Well, I wrote it that way because I want it to be noticed that Katniss is still very mentally ill after everything she's been through. She still has those bad days where she suffers from PTSD. And this was one of those extreme cases where she tries to leave Peeta because she truly believes she is helping him. And she didn't think about the baby once because in her "flashback" it's nonexistent. I want it to be seen that they are both still sick and trying to be healed. I hope you enjoyed this torturing chapter! ;) until next chapter!


	51. Hypothermia

Peeta pov

I follow the trail of blood with Haymitch, in fear. What if she's not okay? What if something happened to her and the baby? What if she's hurt? What if I'm too late? What if she's already gone? I am pulled out of my thoughts when I see something in the distance.

The contrast between the dark hair and the white snow is what gets my attention. And the crimson color of blood next to her. It's her. My mind doesn't have time to keep up with my legs and before I know it, I'm falling on the floor next to her. She's freezing when I pull her into my arms.

The only sign that she is alive is her soft breath. It's faint,but it's there. Tears stream down my cheeks and land on hers. "Everything is going to be okay,"I whisper into her shoulder. Haymitch finally catches up and says,"Damn that had to be at least 500 feet away."

"She's alive."

"Thank God,"he sighs in relief.

"We need to get her back to Delilah,"her father says placing a hand on my shoulder.

He offers to help me, but I shrug him off. I take off my jacket and wrap it around her, then I scoop her up in my arms. My adrenaline must be so high because I can't even feel the cold or the weight of her in my arms. I just run with Haymitch and John trailing behind.

When we reach the village, I don't hesitate with knocking and just run into the Everdeen's house with her in my arms. "Peeta! You found her!" Her mother cries. I place her on the couch and grab as many blankets as possible,trying to warm her up. Her mother starts examining her cuts and bruises.

Her father runs in and her mother instructs him to make a fire. "She might have hypothermia." Her mother says. "Haymitch boil some water fir tea. And Peeta go make a hot bath."

"Delilah-" I start not wanting to leave her side.

"Peeta go do that please. I'm going to check the baby."

I nod and run to the bathroom to draw a bath. When I walk back into the room, she is checking on the baby.

"Is it okay?" I ask.

"I felt movement. And everything seems to be alright, but I'll need to use a machine to know for sure. My friend is bringing the machine right now."

A little bit of my tension is relieved but I won't be okay until I know for sure if her and the baby are okay.

"Peeta, take Katniss and put her in the bath." Her mom says. "John, go into the other room?"

"What, why?" He asks confused.

"Because Peeta is going to undress her and put her in the bath."

He nods and quickly leaves the room.

I press a kiss to Katniss' forehead and then start to undress her from all of her wet cold clothes. Then I lift her naked form into my arms and bring her to the bathroom. I place her in the warm water and sit down next to the tub.

"Peeta, this is going to be a little strange but I need you to strip and get in there with her. She needs the extra body heat." She leaves and I strip down to just my underwear then get in. I wrap my arms around her and hold her close to me. Her head rests on my chest and my hands rest on her stomach.

We lay in there for a long time until the water gets colder. She's still not awake. Her mom instructs me to lay her naked in a warm blanket. I lay down next to her after I get dressed. Seeing her like this hurts me.

My wife, my beautiful wife is hurt. Tears well up in my eyes and I start to cry. I hold her cold hand to my chest and kiss her fingers. My tears fall onto her hands and my body shakes as I cry.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and I turn to find John and Haymitch standing behind me. "Peeta,"John says as he crouches down next to me,"you can't beat yourself up about this."

"I just don't know what caused this... What did I do?"

"Peeta you didn't do anything. You are a great husband and she loves you very much. I don't know what caused this, but I don't think it's your fault."

"He's right, Peeta. Sweetheart loves you a lot, I don't think it's your fault." Haymitch says.

I take in their words but I don't say anything. I just hold her closer to me.

"I need a drink,"Haymitch says leaving the room.

"I'll bring you something to eat,"John says before leaving.

I fall asleep next to Katniss, and I wake up to a hand on my face. I open my eyes to see Katniss striking my face. I'm up instantly.

"Katniss!"I say and caress her face. Tears well up in my eyes as I look into her grey eyes. "What happened? Did I do something?"

"No, Peeta,"she says softly. She sounds weak,"I don't know what I was thinking."

"You scared me. I love you so much, Katniss." I say as I press my forehead to hers.

"I'm so sorry... is the baby alright?"

"I think so... they're bringing a machine to check."

She starts to cry into my shoulder. She sobs her apologies as I hold her. That's when her father walks in. "Please, don't ever do that to me again." I whisper into her hair. I rock her back as forth as she slowly calms down.

Her father sets down a plate of food, which I push towards Katniss. "Here. Eat this. Please." She goes to protest but then she accepts it when she looks into my eyes.

"Your mother is setting up the machine. Then we will see if the baby is okay,"her father says. She nods and strokes her stomach. I hear her whisper one last apology to our baby before she eats something.

John gives me a knowing look before he leaves us alone again.


	52. Cheers and fears

Peeta pov

I hold Katniss' hand as her mom uses the machine to check the baby.

"It's okay,"she says with relief in her voice.

"Can we find out the gender?" Katniss asks. I smile at my wife, also wanting to know.

"Yes of course,"her mother says as she uses the machine to find the baby again.

"Oh! Congratulations you two,"she says with tears in her eyes,"it's a baby girl."

A baby girl.

My eyes well up with tears. I know that then dad always wants his son, but I never really cared that much about having a son. I always wanted a girl. Of course I would love a son as much as a daughter, but I'm excited about having a daughter.

My baby girl.

I grew up in a house of all boys. I always dreamed of having a sister. I was the youngest boy and was always seen as the weakling. Especially when I was younger. My brothers always beat me up. It wasn't until I was in high school and became the head of the wrestling team.

But when I was younger I would dream about having girls. A way to get away from my all boy family.

I lean in and press a kiss to her stomach.

Katniss squeezes my hand and smiles at me.

"A baby girl,"she whispers.

I stand up and kiss her on her forehead then crawl into the bed next to her and hold her. She rests her head on my chest and closes her eyes as her mom cleans up.

John walks in with a smile on his face. He leans against the door frame and crosses his arms. I smile at him before I look back at my beautiful wife.

Delilah walks past her husband and puts the equipment away. Then she walks back in to grab the last of her things, only to be surprised by the arms of her husband wrapping around her shoulders. She laughs with joy and love as he leans down to kiss her cheek.

"I love you, beautiful." He says to her.

"Beautiful? I'm wearing cleaning clothes and I have my hair up."She says.

"Still as beautiful as the day I married you." He says.

"I love you too, John Everdeen,"she says kissing him.

I hope Katniss and I grow up to be like her parents. Still in love after so many years.

Katniss clasps her hands with mine and bring my knuckles to her lips. She smiles at me and says,"I'm so sorry Peeta."

"Lets just not think about it,"I tell her softly,"our baby girl is alive and okay and that's all that matters. And you're okay. You two are the only things that matter to me."

"I love you so much,"I hear her whisper.

* * *

It takes a couple of weeks for Katniss to get back to normal. But soon her cravings, moods, and even her insatiable appetite for my body returns.

I whistle as I slice a piece of pie for her, at 3am. I know this is ridiculous but I do this out of love. Hell, I would run to district 8 in the middle of the night if she wanted fresh milk.

When I get into the room, she is smiling and rubbing her stomach. I hand her the pie and crawl in behind her. She lays between my legs and places the plate on her stomach. She giggles at how it stays then brings the fork to her mouth and moans.

I rub my eyes sleepily and yawn.

I watch her eat her pie as I slowly fall asleep. She's kept me up a lot lately. Most of the times were pleasant but there were a few nights that she was just emotional. Tonight, she's just hungry.

I wake up to Katniss sitting on my butt. I groan into the pillow and try to sleep past it. She starts to bounce a little bit and try to shake me.

"Peeta,"she groans like a little kid.

"Katniss,"I groan into the pillow tiredly.

"I need pancakes!"She says.

"Hmmmrrr..."I groan.

She giggles and says,"your butt is comfy."

"Tttthhhhaaaannnkkkksss,"I say slowly into the pillow.

"Fine!" She says getting off of me. Finally, sleep at last.

Later when I finally crawl out of bed, I find Katniss sitting at the table eating pancakes. But the kitchen is a huge mess. "That's all your fault,"she says.

I can't help but smile at her. She smiles as she eats her pancakes. I sit down next to her and rest my head on my hand and just stare at her happily.

"What?" She asks ruffling my hair.

I smile and shake my head,"nothing."

"Your hair is getting long,"she says running her fingers through it.

"I need to cut it,"I tell.

"Don't. I like it."She says then leans in to kiss me.

I stand up and start to clean up her mess, but I'm smiling the whole time. It's amazing how this tiny 98 pound woman caught my heart. Even though she's small she weighs on my heart like a ton.

Just her laugh can throw me so deep into a trance. Her kiss can make my knees weak. And her touch...

"Peeta?" She asks in light voice.

"Yeah?"I ask turning to look at her.

That's when I see the panic in her eyes.

"What's wrong?"I ask instantly springing into action.

She silently starts to cry. What's wrong with her? Did I do something?

"Did I upset you?" I ask.

She shakes her head and tries to get away but I stop her.

"Katniss, no. What's wrong?"

"How?"

"How?" I asked confused,"how what?"

"How,"she whispers,"how are we going to do this? I'm clearly not ready to be a mom. I'm scared. What if I stop loving her. What if I don't give her enough love. What if I let her get hurt. How can I live with myself?"

I take a minute to process this.

"Well, the fact that you're afraid of not loving her enough shows that you love her. And as for getting hurt, well, life isn't exactly nice all the time. It can be a real bitch sometimes. And yeah, she'll get hurt but she'll be strong and loved and we will protect her as much as we can. We can give her our best. That's the most we can do."

I wrap her in my arms and hold her as she cries. I can't help but start to question myself though. She has some good points. What if we can't protect her?


	53. Advice

Peeta pov

After a month of healing, Katniss was better. I stayed with her for an extra week before she forced me to go to work.

"Peeta, I'm fine. Please go to work. Your employees need you. Stop worrying about me,"she pleaded one morning. I could tell that I was getting on her nerves lately. She was constantly pushing me away and turning me down.

She's also been even more short tempered than normal. I wrapped my arms around her the other morning and she practically pushed me off the bed. "Peeta, quite breathing down my neck,"she groaned as she pushed me away.

"Katniss, I was just trying to cuddle with you,"I said with a slight laugh.

She rolls her eyes even more irritated.

"Well don't." She says angrily. "Geez, don't you men have an off switch."

Seeing this challenge, I decide to take it.

"Well in that case,"I say giving her a mischievous look before I start to take my clothes off.

"Peeta...What are you doing?"

"Well,"I say taking off my underwear,"if you won't let me touch you, then I'll touch myself."

"Peeta!" She says surprised.

I reach down and grab my already hard member. And then I let out an exaggerated moan. I try to do everything possible that turns her on. I bite my lip in a certain way that I know drives her crazy. Then I spread my legs a little wider and shut my eyes.

I moan out her name and thrust into my hand.

I open my eyes to find her watching me as she clenches her thighs together. She bites her lip and slowly moves her legs. It's working but she's too stubborn to give in. I reach the other hand down to cup my balls and let out another moan.

Then I make eye contact with her. "Is this bothering you?"

She doesn't say anything. But she squirms even more.

"You're looking a little flu-uushed there,"I say continuing to touch myself."

She glares at me, still being stubborn.

"I could help you, if you let me."I say.

She sighs and finally gives in.

"Fine."

I give her a devious smile and roll over instantly forgetting myself. I bite at her neck and move down her body. She spreads her legs for me and I bite her inner thigh.

I pull down her shorts and underwear. Then I run my tongue across her core. She bites back a scream and I smirk. I run my tongue around her clit and then suck on it. This time she lets out a scream and her thighs clench around my head.

"Peeta!" She screams.

I smirk because I know that I've got her now.

She screams as she comes. I slowly climb my way up her body and kiss her neck as I slowly enter her. She moans as I slowly thrust into her. I grip her hips and I know that I'm going to leave bruises. Her legs wrap around my waist and dig into my ass.

She bites at my neck and by my ear.

She screams my name as she climaxes again. And I thrust one last time deep inside of her as I come.

I collapse beside her and wrap her in my arms. "So what's wrong. Why we're you so cranky this morning?"

"I don't know. I guess I just want some privacy. I'm tired of being overcrowded. I love you Peeta, I do, but I need space. I've been locked up in this house and I need time. Some space to myself. I think you should go back to work tomorrow.

"I don't know."

* * *

So I'm going to work.

When I get to work, Tyler and Rory look surprised. "Peeta?" They both say.

"Hey guys. I hope things haven't been too hard here without me. I appreciate you guys taking initiative."

"How's Katniss doing?"Rory asks.

"She's doing better now. It was actually her idea that I come in today. And I'm going to close up early tomorrow and I'd like to invite your families here for a dinner. Both of you need a day off. So don't worry about coming into work tomorrow."

"Wait are you sure?" Tyler asks.

"Yes. You guys deserve it. If I need help, I have family that can fill in. But it's only half a day. It shouldn't be too bad."

Right then the bell on the door rings as someone walks in. I start to kneed the dough with a big smile on my face. It feels nice to finally bake again. I place the tray in the oven and then walk back to the front.

I turn to the back counter and start to pipe the frosting on the cake. I jump as I feel a hand slap my ass hard.

I turn quickly to find none other than Johanna.

"Hey bread boy!" She says happily. Johanna is extremely pregnant.

"Johanna!" I say happily. Her and Gale have been on a little trip to district Four for a honeymoon after they eloped. "How was your trip?"

"It was great. But I actually missed my favorite bread boy and brainless."

"I had no one to make fun of me this whole time."I joke. She laughs and says,"I better be the only one."

She reaches for a cupcake and takes a bite. "And I've missed your cupcakes even more."

"How's the bakery been?" She asks.

"I actually haven't been here that often. Katniss had a bit of an accident..."

"What happened?"

I explain to her everything that went on. Johanna looks at me sadly and says,"I'm sorry, Peeta."

"She's doing better."

"I should go see her,"she says.

"I'm sure she'd appreciate it. She could use it."

"Hmm...come here bread boy, we gotta talk."

Johanna leads me to a table in the corner of the shop. It's pretty slow today, so there's no one in here.

"So, what's up with her now?"

"She's healed enough to be walking around a little bit but she's supposed to stay in bed for most of the day. So I spent all of that time taking care of her. And well, yesterday she got tired with me..."

"Oh I see... She didn't play with your buns? Knead the old dough? Suck on the breaddick?" She says laughing at her own puns.

"Well, she did but I had to convince her."

"Oh. I see what the problem is."

"What is it? Is she still even attracted to me? I'm only 21."

"Of course she still is. Hell, if I wasn't committed right now I'd jump your bones."

"Then if it's not that, then what is it?"

"She's probably just irritated and even a little bored."

"Bored?"

"Yeah, have you done anything interesting lately? Changed anything? Tried anything new?"

"I guess not."

"Have you allowed her space?"

"I've been really worried about her, so not really."

"Alright listen to me bread boy. When you see her tonight, try something a little interesting. Like toys or I don't know food."

I start to blush incredibly but am saved by the sound of someone calling my name.

"Well, I'll see you later bread boy. I'm gonna go see brainless now."

"Thanks Johanna."


	54. I know

John Pov

Since Katniss is still healing and Peeta has gone back to work, I go over to cook for her with the game I catch in the morning. I knock on the door before entering. When I step inside, I call out to her,"Katniss!"

"Up here!" She yells back from upstairs.

"Do you need help?" I ask even though I know the answer.

"No!"

I roll my eyes. Even when she needs help, she still says no. But I can hear her struggle. When I get up to her room, she's sitting on her bed trying to put on her sock. She's not very big, but with how weak she is from being sick and from being so small all her life, it's really throwing her off.

"Katniss, it's okay to ask for help,"I tell her.

"I don't need it!" She says.

She struggles a little more before giving up and throwing her sock,"I didn't want to wear socks anyway!"

"Katniss,"I say bending down to pick up her sock. "Give me your foot."

She crosses her arms and swings her foot to me. I still see that little two year old who was having trouble dressing herself and got so angry when I tried to help. Now she's almost 20 and having a baby of her own. They really do grow up fast.

I slip on her socks and then help her up. Then we go downstairs and I help her to the kitchen. "I see you slept in today,"I say.

"Yeah. It was kinda nice,"she says.

"I'm glad you're sleeping again." I say as I dig through my game bag. I pull out meat for lunch and store the rest in the freezer.

I place the meat on a cutting board and start to cut it. Katniss makes a noise I turn to see her rushing to the sink to throw up.

"I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't realize this would make you sick. I'm 16 years out of practice with this pregnancy thing."

"It's not your fault,"she says shaking her head. "I'm just going to lye down in the living room."

"Okay, sweetie."

I continue to chop up the meat and then put it into the pan. By the time I have everything cooking, Katniss has wandered back into the kitchen. She reaches for some bread that I was cutting up for lunch.

"Hey! Save some for lunch,"I tell her.

"I'm pregnant, I can get away with it,"she says smiling.

Just then I hear the door open. "Katniss?" Peeta calls as he walks to the kitchen.

"I thought I'd come see you for lu-" he says as he walks in. But he freezes when he walks into the kitchen. His body starts to shake and his hands ball in fists.

I look at us and discover that I'm covered in blood and that Katniss got blood on her when she leaned over to get some bread. This can't be good.

His breathing is labored before he starts to scream mutt.

He charges but I step in front of Katniss and push her back. He's strong, and I'm not as young as I use to be. But my adrenaline kicks in. I'm jabbed in the job but I'm able to push him to the ground. Katniss starts to cry so I yell at her to get Haymitch.

She's hesitant so I yell again.

"She's a mutt! She's a stinking mutt!"

"Peeta,"I say,"snap out of it."

He continues to fight it. So I use my years of hunting skills to hold him back until Haymitch barges in.

"Ah, shit,"Haymitch says as he walks in. He grabs one arm and pulls out a syringe. Then he stabs it into his arm and releases the fluids. Peeta calms instantly and drops. Haymitch pants and takes out the syringe.

"What was that?" I ask as I wipe my chin of blood.

"A tranquilizer. I became his legal guardian since he was underage after the war and his family died, so they gave me these just in case."

"We should move him,"I say.

"Here, tie him up,"Haymitch says.

"What! Why?"

"It's possible for him to still wake up in the flashback. It depends how bad it was." He says.

We tie his wrists together and then move him to the closest room. When we enter the room I notice paint and canvases that cover the room. It's his art studio. This is good. In case he's still in the flashback, there are very beautiful and realistic paintings of the forest and him and Katniss. He's very talented.

We lay him out on the futon in the corner. My back hurts as I stand up and I groan in pain. "You okay?" Haymitch asks.

"I'm definitely not in my twenties anymore,"I say rubbing my back.

"I feel ya there,"Haymitch says.

Katniss walks into the room and instantly runs to Peeta's side. She caresses his sleeping face. He has a few bruises by his eye and chin. And he's definitely going to be sore.

Then she looks at me and just walks out.

Damn it she's angry at me.

But then she comes back in with a cloth and walks up to me. Maybe she isn't angry?

Her hand extends to my face and she dabs at the corner of my lip. It burns and after 27 years of marriage to a healer, I know that I'm going to need stitches.

Katniss sighs. "You'll need stitches, I'll go get Prim and Mom."

"I got it,"Haymitch says before leaving the room.

"I'm sorry, Katniss...I tried to be as careful as possible."

"I know dad,"she says softly.

I pull her to my chest as she weeps. Delilah walks in with Prim following her. The look on her face tells me that it's not too bad but it's bad enough. I release Katniss, but Prim runs to her side.

"You just can't stay out of trouble,"Delilah says with a smirk.

"Never,"I say to her smiling but then wincing from the pain.

"Lets get you stitched up."

She stitches up my lip as Katniss sits down by Peeta's head. She places it in her lap and strokes his hair. Prim examines his bleeding cuts and bruises.

I watch as she takes her sister's hand and says,"he's going to be okay, Katniss."

"He always is,"she adds.

Katniss places her hand on her stomach and the other on his cheek.

Delilah finishes stitching me up an then presses a kiss to the other side of my mouth.

"I love you,"I tell her.

"I love you too."

I lead her to the kitchen and make a plate for Katniss.

"You should go relax,"Delilah tells me.

I shake my head and say,"have you ever known me to relax?"

"I guess not," she laughs.

"I'm going to take this to Katniss."

She nods and makes a plate for Prim and herself. When I walk in, Katniss is still sitting with his head on her lap. "Here, you need to eat."

"I'm fine,"she says.

"No. You need to eat, Katniss."

She sighs.

"Sweetie, you need to take care of yourself. Especially now."

"Fine,"she says taking the plate.

I go back to the kitchen and finish eating with Delilah and Prim. Then Delilah lays with me on the couch and then we fall asleep. When I wake up it's dark outside. I slip out from underneath her and go to check on Katniss.

Peeta sits with her curled up on his lap.

"Hey,"he whispers.

"You're awake,"I say back.

He nods.

"John, I'm sor-"

"No. Stop. Don't apologize for something you can't control," I tell him.

He glances at my lip and sighs.

"How can I trust myself."

"Peeta, do you know why I trust you with my daughter?"

He shakes his head.

"Back in the capitol, when we almost about to capture Snow... those bombs were coming down and I recognized them. I ran to get Prim. She was the nearest to them. I got to her before they went off. You ran towards Katniss. She was thrown back by the blow. She was on fire and you ran through the fire to get her. I watched as you threw the robe off of her that was on fire and ran her to the nearest medical center. I did the same with Prim."

"I remember,"he says nodding.

"Do you remember what happened after that?"

He shakes his head,"I blacked out after that..."

"This is what happened.."

_I run with a burnt Prim in my arms. "Please be okay,"I pray as I run. When I get to the medical center Peeta is already there with Katniss. They're putting her on a bed to take her to a room. Peeta stands there staring at her._

_Delilah runs over from Helping treating Katniss to grab Prim._

_"The bombs?" She asks._

_I nod._

_"They're the 8th ones to come." She sighs._

_I lean against the wall and sigh. I watch as my wife takes care of our children. But there's nothing I can do. I look over at Peeta, who looks like he's struggling with himself. He sinks to the floor and puts his face to his hands._

_That girl Delly walks over to Peeta and places her hand on his back. "Peeta,"she says softly. He starts mumbling._

_"What was that?" She asks._

_"Don't. Let. Me. Hurt. Her."_

_"Katniss?" She asks._

_"If I lose her, I have nothing,"he says._

_"Nothing?"_

_"My family is gone. She's all I have. She's my life."_

_He rocks back and forth. He's fighting his flashback._

_"I'll make sure she's okay,"I tell her. _

_"Thank you, Mr Everdeen,"she says to me._

"That was the moment that I realized the depth of your love for my daughter. You could have left her. You could have killed her. But even while you were going into a flashback you still had her safety in mind."

"I love her more than anything."

"I know."

He smiles and attempts to caress her face. I stand up and untie him. Then I say,"Peeta, I've never seen her open up to anyone. You're special, Peeta. She really loves you with all of her heart."

He smiles,"I know."


	55. Realization

Katniss pov

I'm back in my bed. It's too comfortable to be the couch in Peeta's studio. Someone must have moved me. I roll over to find a hard body pressed up against mine. I sigh in content. Peeta. The smell of his shirt fills my nose. Dill and cinnamon.

He's still asleep. He had a rough day yesterday. His flashbacks take a lot out of him. He's still learning how to control them.

My hand lands on his check softly as I explore his sleeping face. His soft cheeks, and long lashes. His eyebrows scruntch together but then they soften as his eyes flutter open. He smiles at me. "Good morning beautiful,"he says.

I curl in closer to his chest and he wraps his arms around me. Almost as if he's afraid that if he lets go, I'll disappear.

"Katniss,"he says, stroking my hair.

"Peeta,"I say.

"About yesterday-"

"Stop. Don't worry about it." I say pulling him in closer to me. On most days he holds me, but on a day like to day, I need to hold him. I pull him so his head rests against my chest.

His arms wrap around my back and he kisses my stomach. I stroke his hair and run my hands down his back.

"I talked to your dad last night."

"What about?" I ask curiously.

"He told me a story. He told me about after the explosions in the capitol. I didn't remember much about it, but he did."

"What happened? To tell you the truth, I don't really remember much. From what I've been told, you carried me to the hospital."

"Yeah... and after that I went into a flashback but I begged Della not to let me hurt you."

"And you didn't,"I tell him, kissing his forehead after.

He smiles and kisses my collar bone.

"Katniss, I love you with all of my heart,"he says.

"I love you,"I say to him.

He helps me up and we go to the kitchen where he starts to cook for me. Prim and my mother come over for breakfast.

"Where's dad?" I ask.

"He went down to the Hob. He wanted to help Greasy Sae out."

"I was actually going to take some bread down to her,"Peeta says adding the last piece of bread to the basket."

"I'll go with you," I say.

He smiles.

"Of course,"he says softly as he kisses my cheek. After breakfast we all go to the Hob.

Greasy Sae smiles at us as we walk in. She comes over to greet us along with my dad. "How are you doing, darling." Sae says placing a hand on my stomach.

"I'm doing fine, a little sick..."

"I know exactly what's going to help that. Come with me dear."she grabs my hand and leads me to the kitchen.

Peeta follows us and places the basket of bread on the counter. Sae pulls out a bowl and walks over to the pot on the boiler.

She hands me a bowl and says,"eat up."

I look down in the bowl and gulp.

"I know it looks disgusting, but it will clear you of morning sickness."

I do as she says and drink the bowl.It's not as bad as it looks. And my stomach instantly stops hurting. I look at her with amazement. "Sae, what is that?"

"It's an old family recipe. But I'll make ya a deal. Since your boy keeps giving me bread for free, anytime you feel sick, just come down here or send him down here and I'll make it for ya."

"Thank you."I tell her.

After, Peeta and I decide to walk around the hob. It has improved since they rebuilt it. It's not as dirty, but it still has that rustic look to it.

As we walk around, we come across a booth. It has baby things. Peeta looks through the blankets with me. He lifts up a knit blanket that looks very cozy. I smile at him. I lift up a blanket underneath the pile. It's soft and green. But when I turn it around I drop it and scream.

Peeta reaches out to me and asks,"what? What is it?"

I cover my mouth as I sob. Peeta wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his chest. He looks at the blanket and instantly understands.

On the other side of the blanket was a mockingjay symbol.

"It's okay,"he says softly in my ear,"you're okay."

"Peeta, please take me home."

He holds me as we walk home. My legs feel like jello. We're near the bakery when I collapse. Peeta scoops me up and runs me into the bakery. I hear noises of concern from the workers.

Peeta places me in his office on the couch. He runs his fingers through my hair and holds me as I cry into his chest.

"Shhhh..."

Peeta kisses my nose and forehead. He holds me tightly as he rocks me back and forth. "Peeta, our baby is never going to be normal. She's always going to be seen as the mockingjays daughter or the daughter of two victors. Peeta we are going to have to tell her about our past."

"And we'll tackle that when we get to it. And we're not alone. We have Haymitch, Annie, Johanna, your parents... we have everyone here to help us. We'll get through it. And she'll understand because we'll raise her to be strong and smart."

"Peeta,"I say gripping his shirt,"how can you be so sure?"

"Because I have faith in our parenting skills, and because we are going to love her with all of our hearts."

There's a knock on the door and Peeta calls out for them to come in. Rory pokes his head in and says,"Mr and Mrs Everdeen is here."

"Thank you, Rory. Tell them we'll be right out."

He nods and disappears.

"I'm going to go talk to your parents,"he says releasing me. I grab onto his arm and beg him not to go.

"I'll just be a second." He reassures me.

I know if he walks out he'll return but I just can't help but fear that he won't come back to me. That the capitol would somehow take him from me. I know I'm being unreasonable. But can't have a day to be unreasonable?

"You're okay,"he says.

"But you-"

"I'll be okay,"he says.

He walks out and I do everything I can to calm myself. He doesn't take long, just like he said. Soon he's back and I'm in his arms again.

"Come on, let's get you home,"he says.


	56. Love

Peeta Pov

I can't sleep. I look over at Katniss, who is asleep. She had a hard day so it's good that she's sleeping. I brush the hair from her face and kiss her forehead before going downstairs.

I make some tea with peppermint. It helps me when I can't sleep. Before the tour, Prim would sneak out and bring me this when she saw my light was on. Katniss' screaming kept her up so after she brought her some tea she would sneak out and bring me some. It always helped a lot. Then we would talk for a while until I fell asleep.

I walk down to the hall to the window where I use to sit when I couldn't sleep. I sip the tea while looking out the window.

You can see most of the victors village. I look to Haymitch's house. His light is on. He doesn't sleep at night. Old habits die hard.

All the lights are off at the Everdeen's home. Some of the other houses have been inhabited but no one has moved in next to any of our houses. I guess we'll always be separated no matter how much we try to act normal.

A pair of hands lands on my shoulder, making me jump in surprise. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." Katniss says running her hands down the front of my chest. She rests her head on my shoulder. "What are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep. So I made some tea."

She takes the mug and takes a sip. Then she makes a face,"needs more sugar."

I smile at her. She walks over the other side of the windowsill and sits. When she tries to swing her legs up like mine, she almost falls off.

"Ugh, stupid stomach!" She groans. I take her hand and lead her to my lap. Then I grab her legs and help her up. She rests her legs against mine and leans back against my chest.

"I hate this. My ankles are swollen and my fingers look like sausages!"

I take her hand and kiss each finger,"I love your sausage fingers."

She interlocks our fingers and places it on her stomach. "What are you doing up?" I ask.

"I can't sleep without you here. Plus, can't you feel it?" She asks. I do, I can feel the baby kicking.

"She's more active everyday."

"Amazing,"I say smiling.

I sip my tea as we watch the sunrise. "Your favorite color,"she comments.

"I love watching the sunrise. It's even better with you here."

"I want to do her room in Orange."

"Really?"I ask taken aback by her comment.

"Yeah, I've been thinking about it, and I think it would be nice. Pink and orange."

"I would love that."I say kissing her cheek.

"I've also been thinking about names. I thought I'd propose a deal."

"And what might that be?" I ask, intrigued by her proposition.

"Since its a girl, I thought we'd name it a nature name like my family. And if we ever have a boy, we can follow your family tradition of bread names."

"Wait, are you saying we'll have another child?"

"No..not exactly. But IF we ever do, I would be open to the idea. There's a possibility we could have another baby."

I smile as she admits this.

"Okay. I agree." I tell her. "Have you thought of any?"

"I've been playing around with a few..."

"Let me hear it,"I say.

"Well, there's Daphadil, Lilly, Rose, Dandelion."

All these names are pretty, but none of them strike my heart. "Or there's Willow-"

That name is stunning. It makes my heart soar as I imagine a little Katniss running around. I can see her running through the meadow as I call out her name. She giggles and twirls. Strong like the tree, but just as beautiful.

"It's perfect."

"Willow?"

"I love it."I tell her honestly.

"You do?"

"Yes. Can't you imagine it? Willow Mellark?"

Tears are in her eyes.

"Willow Rose Mellark,"she says.

"Even better,"I smile. I hold her closer to me and wipe her tears. Eventually she drifts off to sleep in my arms. There's a knock on the door, but I don't want to wake her. Luckily we're close enough to the door, so I open the window and find Prim standing outside the door.

"Prim,"I call.

"Peeta?" She says walking over to the window.

"You can just walk in,"I tell her, so she does.

"Hey Peeta,"she whispers.

"I was walking around when I saw the light on."

"You're welcome to stay for breakfast."

"Oh, I'm actually going to meet Rory at the bakery for breakfast... if that's okay? I wasn't sure when his break is-"

"Don't worry about it Prim," I say,"he's a great worker. I trust that you won't distract him too much."

She blushes.

"You Everdeen girls love distracting bakers at work."

She smiles and nods.

"Hey Peeta? How did you know you were in love with my sister?"

"Well, I was five years old. I saw her on the first day of school and my dad hand pointed her out. He told me how he use to be in love with your mom. She had two braids instead of one and she wore a red plaid dress. And then in music the teacher asked if anyone knew the valley song. She raised her hand and sang every verse. And I knew I was in love with her. I use to watch you guys walk by the bakery. I wanted to give you all that I had. But I knew if I did I would be beat. I took a hard beating for the burnt bread. It was well worth it, because it meant you could eat."

"Thank you, Peeta."

"No problem,"I tell her.

"What does it feel like to be in love?"

"Well, it feels like I'm lifted off ground. I would die for her. I would be anything she needs. A friend when she needs it. A lover, a fighter, a healer, anything. I think about her before I think of myself. She's always first."

"Beautiful. I must be going. I'll see you later, Peeta."

"See ya, Prim."


	57. AN

Hi guys I just want to apologize! So I have been using the FanFiction app which I absolutely love! However, where it is good for reading and writing, it is not good for posting. Every time I try to post a chapter using the app, something goes wrong. Just one of the flaws of the app. So I tried it again and even though it said I was posting to a victors choice, as many of you saw, it posted here and I apologize. But if you liked what you read, go ahead and read my other story called A Victor's Choice. Thank you to those of you who commented to alert me of this mistake. As always, God bless

-Pookieortega


	58. Therapy

A/N so a guest review brought up a very good point that I would like to address in this chapter. Also I would like to thank you for not only a wonderful review but for keeping me honest. I totally forgot that she had gotten cut when she ran off, so I am going to add that into this chapter. You also talked about how she didn't get any punishment or help for putting herself and the baby in danger, so that will be addressed. Thank you so much again.

Katniss pov

I wake in a panic. All the images flash in my mind. Peeta bleeding to death. Snow cutting my baby out of my stomach. Cries of a baby that I can't find. Prim exploding. They all flash in my mind.

I clutch the blanket that is over my body. I sit up on the couch and try to calm my breathing before Peeta gets home. I stand up and pace, my whole body shaking. It's just a nightmare, I keep telling myself.

My name is Katniss Everdeen Mellark. I'm 23 years old. I'm married to Peeta Mellark. I'm four months pregnant with his child. I survived the hunger games twice. I led a rebellion. My family is alive. My parents are at home. Prim is with Rory. Peeta is at work.

A knock on my door breaks my focus.

Haymitch stands on the other side. "Afternoon, sweetheart,"he says.

"Hey," I say softly.

"What's wrong?"He asks, more annoyed than concerned.

"Nightmare."

He nods,"I'd offer you a drink, but well..." He points to my stomach shrugging.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him.

He walks over to the couch and plops down. "Well, sweetheart, I wanted to wait until you were better before we talked about the heavy stuff."

I look at him cautiously. "What do you mean 'the heavy stuff'?"

Katniss, you got off free with a lot."

"Haymitch, I'm not following?" I say confused.

"Focus sweetheart! You ran out into the woods, putting not only you in danger but your baby and Peeta! And you so much as got off with a simple apology. Now I'm not saying that we ship you out to district 2, but I think we need to consider some type of therapy. We can't have that happen again. If Peeta were to flip out, they'd send him out in a heartbeat. But you- you get out free. And that's not okay."

"I'm fine. I promise it won't happen again."

"Wake up, sweetheart!" He says snapping his fingers,"this doesn't just end when you give birth. You are a mother now. You are going to have to protect that baby for the rest of its life. She is going to grow up knowing that her parents lived through hell and back. And you are going to have to stay strong."

Tears slip from my eyes. I don't know if it's anger, sadness, or simply just hormones.

He sighs. "Listen, sweetheart. I know what you've gone through. I've lived it. We all have those days where we just want to run away and end it. Only for me, I don't have any responsibilities. No one to love me. But you, you have a child who depends on you for life. Peeta who would die if you did. And your family."

I shake my head. "Not true."

"What do you mean, not true!"

"Haymitch, Peeta and I both love you. We need you."

He opens up his arms and pulls me into his chest. I quietly cry in his arms. "I'm scared, Haymitch."

"It's okay."

The door opens and Peeta walks in. "What's going on?" He asks looking surprised and concerned.

Haymitch let's go of me and motions to the couch. "Sit down. Both of you."

Peeta sits down with me and wraps an arm tightly around my waist.

"We all know about her little freak out a month ago." Peeta nods along. "Well, I think Katniss should see someone. We don't want more accidents like that."

"Okay, but as long as I can go with her. Wherever. I'm not being separated from her again. Last time, it nearly killed us."

"No I don't think sending her away for a long time will be good."

"Then what did you have in mind?"

"Therapy Video calls."

"Video calls?" I say.

"All of our TV's are connected to our phone's. Each one comes with the option to video call."

"Okay,"I nod.

"Yes." Peeta says.

"I recommend it for both of you." He says. "I'll go make a call."

Haymitch leaves Peeta and I for 10 minutes before coming back. "Okay. It's all set. You'll be called on Monday at 10am."

"Thank you, Haymitch." Peeta says but I say nothing.

"It's for your own good, Katniss."He says before leaving.

I hate doctors.

Peeta runs his hand up my thigh. "How's your cut?"

"It's fine," I say.

There was a giant gash on my leg from the tree. I didn't realize it because I was too lost, but my mom took good care of it. I lost a lot of blood that day. From both the cut and my head wound. The head wound wasn't bad but because head wounds bleed a lot, it looked worse than it actually was.

A scar lays were my cut was. It's more red than my other scars. Fresh.

That night comes back into my mind like a nightmare. I put my baby in danger. I put Peeta in danger.

"Hey, where is your mind?" Peeta asks me.

"That night."

"Stop. Don't think about it."

I shake my head,"I'm going to have to."

"Not right now,"Peeta says pulling me into his arms and holding onto me as if I'm going to fade away.


End file.
